Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Keep The Good Stuff Coming!!!

Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of all his wonderful acts. Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice. Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always. 1 Chronicles 16:9-11

I love this verse. I love that I can sing praises to Him on the good days and the bad days. I love that God is continually doing amazing things! Everyday that we face, all the progress Cale makes, every bump in the road, the Lord gets the glory and I will rejoice in it! He is my strength, everyday, every minute! I will continue to seek His face always. Today I rejoice in another great day! All this good stuff can keep on coming! :)

The speech therapist is out of town, so for the rest of the week, there's a lady filling in. I didn't think Cale was going to do much with a new person, that's at least how it's been so far. Well, she asked questions and for almost every one, he nodded for yes or no and they were all the right answers! Then she tried ice chips, Cale chewed and swallowed the first couple times!

PT and OT walked with him today, they tried again without the brace. So far every time they try this, because of the calcium deposits in his joint causing so much pain, he immediately lifts his leg up. Susan (PT), figured out that if they get him walking fast enough, it would be less pressure for his left leg. The problem has been that, the right leg is the one he doesn't have much control over, so it's a slow process. I tried to put the video on here, but it wouldn't load. He was able to walk fairly quick and without the brace :)

Before lunch, there was time for Cale and I to sit outside. When we were leaving his room, I asked Cale if he would hold my phone for me. On my phone the camera button is on the side, he had found it, and was watching through the screen as we headed outside. Once out there, he started taking pictures! He had it on me for a while and then when I looked through all the pictures, he had taken this one :)

A couple things to pray for... On Sunday I noticed Cale had his hand over his left ear. He wouldn't put his hand down, so I asked the nurse about it. A doctor that was on call, took a look at it and he said there didn't seem to be anything wrong. At that point I wasn't sure if it was his ear, or just the left side of his head. This morning when they got him out of bed, he was doing it again. He didn't seem as bothered, so I didn't think much about it. Later this afternoon, we went back outside, and Cale had his hand up again, but this time his finger was in his ear. He wouldn't let me move his hand and he had a very distressed look on his face. They're supposed to be coming in to look again, and maybe figure out what's going on. He really looked like he was in a lot of pain...

I'm going through another wave with no sleep. It was kind of going on just a couple weeks ago, but then seemed to get better. It started up again this last week, really bad the last couple days. I've tried a few different things, and nothing seems to be helping. It must be starting to show because when PT and OT came in this morning they asked if I was not sleeping good. This time, I'm starting to get headaches which just makes the whole thing a little annoying. I know it'll pass though!

Also, Adam is having surgery tomorrow. He's already been through so much, and now another one. I've been thinking about Amy a lot today, my heart is really heavy for her. I'll try to give an update about how the surgery went as soon as I know something.

Thanks for praying!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Worship

My brain tonight is on overload. I'm going to try to start at the top and work my way through the day :)

When I got to the hospital this morning, Cale was still sleeping, actually, he was snoring very loudly! PT and OT came in and were the bad guys that woke him up. It's so funny for me to sit and watch them make the attempts to wake him, and for him to protest so strongly. There were several times during the process, I just sat and giggled to myself. The first session didn't go to great, but later they were able to try some walking again. It kind of seemed today that he was having more trouble then usual. They also have a new wheelchair for him, it seems to fit his long body a little nicer :)

For speech, she got out the coins again. He messed with them for a tiny bit, and then seemed to loose interest pretty quickly. Today, when she tried putting the ice chips in his mouth, he took the spoon from her, grabbed the ice and put it back in the cup, and then set the spoon to the side. This was great because he was able to make the statement that he didn't want them, and he did it calmly. During the afternoon session, she gave Cale a pencil and for the first time, HE STARTED WRITING LETTERS! She had written Caleb at the top of the paper, and underneath, he did a C-a-l and then two letters that we'll say were the e-b! It was so exciting! I didn't think he was going to do anything because the pencil was in his left hand, but yep! He did it!

It was another great day! This afternoon, about half way through the day, I caught myself setting expectations for him. Since the last two days were so great, I felt that if he was doing "this" then he should be able to do "this"...it doesn't work like that. Well, he showed me when he started writing! haha!

I would have to say, the last 2 hours I was at the hospital this evening were the best. His awareness was in and out quite a bit today, unlike the last two days when I felt like it was more constant, but during those two hours he was engaged the whole time! I was sitting on the bed just talking with him, Shawna called, and while I was on the phone with her, he reached out for the phone. She was sweet enough to talk to him and let him just listen. After that, I pulled up Facebook and showed him a bunch of different pictures of people, and a lot of our older ones. Usually, Cale will look for a minute and then be done, he looked through all the pictures! He even nodded a few times if I would say that persons name. This just in itself is such an improvement!

Since the accident, I've tried several times playing music for Cale. I think it just seems to get him more agitated. A little while before I left, I was laying in the bed with Cale, I had my little pink Ipod, one plug in my ear and one in Cale's ear. I didn't think he was going to go for it because last time I tried music with the Ipod, he almost sent it flying across the room! This time, I put on "No Sacrifice" by Jason Upton. As the music played, I could feel the presence of the Lord so strong. At one point Cale reached over, pulled my head to him so that our foreheads were touching. Amazing. There was no need for words, it's OK that he's not fully cognitive, it didn't matter that we were in a hospital bed, and at that moment all worries faded. We worshiped together. God's thoughts are higher than ours, His words are deeper than ours, and His love is so much stronger than ours. We listened to 5 songs before I had to go, and the whole time Cale was listening, focused, aware. Praise God!

Here is a link to listen to the song, which even if you just listen for a couple minutes, it's so beautiful!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jG-g48I6kA

Here are the words:
To you I give my life, not just the parts I want to
To you I sacrifice these dreams that I hold on to

Your thoughts are higher than mine
Your words are deeper than mine Your love is stronger than mine
This is no sacrifice
Here's my life

To you I give the gifts
Your love has given me
How can I hoard the treasures that you've designed for free?

Because
Your thoughts are higher than mine
Your words are deeper than mine
Your love is stronger than mine
This is no sacrifice
Here's my life

To you I give my future
As long as it may last
To you I give my present
To you I give my past

Because
Your thoughts are higher than mine
Your words are deeper than mine
Your love is stronger than mine
Your thoughts are higher than mine
Your words are deeper than mine
Your love is stronger than mine
This is no sacrifice
Here's my life

Monday, June 28, 2010

He Must Be Butter, Cus' He's On A Roll!

Today has been another great day for Cale! Everyone here can really see a huge change from last week! He's been staying more aware for longer periods of time. This morning for PT and OT, he helped get himself dressed, put deoderant on, brush his teeth, and later he did some walking. He did all of it with help, but at least he's trying!

For speech, she gave him a cup with a straw, and today was the first time he's closed his lips around it. She also gave him some coins to see if he could put them in the correct labeled pile, but this time, he just studied each coin. It was good to see him actually looking at the coin and not just holding it in his fist.

Even with all of his care, he's helping the nurses and responding with head nods again. Everyone is so impressed with him...including his wife! I'm so proud of him!

I love him so much. I was laying in bed last night, thinking about love and how I can look at Cale, and feel overwhelmed with how much I love him and then, remind myself, yet again, that God loves him even more than I do. Everyday with him is amazing, even if it's not the way I thought our new life together was going to go, by his side, it's perfect. I am completely head over heels for this man!

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth— for your love is more delightful than wine. Song of Solomon 1:2

How handsome you are, my lover! Oh, how charming! Song of Solomon 1:16

My lover is radiant and ruddy, outstanding among ten thousand. Song of Solomon 5:10

I belong to my lover, and his desire is for me. Song of Solomon 7:10

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Say What?!

This morning started out to be another rough day, but ended up being wonderful :)

When I got to the hospital, Cale was awake and looked up at me as soon as I walked in. I sat on the bed and just talked to him for awhile. He's starting to nod in response a lot more, still not consistent, but for sure doing it. Once they got him into his wheelchair, we were able to sit outside and enjoy the sunshine (and heat!). I think I've explained before, there's a difference between, Cale awake and asleep, but there's also a difference between, awake and aware. It's when I know he's more aware of things that I really try to challenge what he can do. Today I asked him to touch my nose...and he did! He also touched my ear, top of my head, and my eyes on command! I have been asking him for weeks to do this, and so far nothing. I jumped up and said "are you kidding me?!", he just looked up at me, probably wondering what the big deal was. Haha!

He only did each one once, then he was done. He wouldn't do it again today, but that's how everything has been going with him. Even when he waved the first time, he only did it that one time, and now he waves all the time. I feel like he's a lot farther along then what they all think. I could be wrong since I'm just the wife, but, oh my goodness! Praise God!

We also had lots of cuddling time this afternoon. Again, it felt like he was very much aware even though we were going to take a nap. He even responded to quite a bit today. I have crazy mosquito bites all over me, and there's a big one on my leg that I asked him to feel, he reached down and touched it...really? Yes!

As I'm typing, my mouth is hanging open in amazement! I'm praying and expecting for big things this week!

When my soul is in the dumps, I rehearse everything I know of you, From Jordan depths to Hermon heights, including Mount Mizar. Chaos calls to chaos, to the tune of whitewater rapids. Your breaking surf, your thundering breakers crash and crush me. Then God promises to love me all day, sing songs all through the night! My life is God's prayer. Psalm 42:8 (The Message)

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Lazy Day

Cale slept ALL day! I'm not exaggerating! I got there today and and he was sleeping, and the nurse said he'd been sleeping all morning. I asked if we could just leave him in bed until he woke up. I think he just needs sleep. I was told in ICU that most of the healing is happening when he sleeps, so before we got to the program here, I wanted him to sleep all the time. In the program, during the week, they have to wake him up and do therapy, but I figured for the weekend he should be able to rest, and that's what he did! At 3:30 today, he was STILL sleeping! He had only been awake for a few minutes the whole day. Maybe we'll be seeing some big things soon...!!

Two good-great things today, the results for the test for infection came back NEGATIVE! Yes! That means see ya later yellow gowns! :) Also, the CT scan came back with good results. The last one he had done, there was some fluid build up, but that is now gone, and everything else looks the same.

Yay for lazy days...

Friday, June 25, 2010

The Chocolate Pudding Experiance

Last night ended up being full of tears and more tears. I was just really missing Cale. It's been a challenging week for him, but also, I just miss my husband. When I could feel myself start to get sad, I thought maybe if I went back to the hospital and hold him, it'll make me feel better. When I got to the hospital, Cale was already asleep and looked so peaceful. I didn't want to disturb him, but at the same time I was desperate to wrap my arms around him.

I was laying there, and I felt so unsatisfied. I started searching my memory of any scripture that I could cling to, in Philipians it says, do not be anxious, throughout the gosples it says, do not worry, in several places in the bible it says do not be afraid, and again it says, do not be discouraged. I wasn't feeling any of these things, and the tears had started...then I remembered that God is my comforter.

All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of ALL comfort. 2 Corthians 1:3

I can hold onto all the truths that God has given me to hold onto through this journey, but it doesn't make missing Cale easier. My heart aches to have Cale back, healthy and whole, my stomach turns every time I see him unhappy, I so badly want to hear his voice, and hear him say "I love you". The feeling doesn't go away, but how amazing that I can let it all out, and He's there to comfort me like no one else can.

As for today, it was so great to get back to the hospital this morning and see Cale. I didn't feel all happy and refreshed, but I'm so thankful that God, time after time, picks me up and pours on me peace, love, joy, comfort, strength, wisdom, and grace.

The doctor decided to have a CT scan done on Cale just to make sure they aren't missing anything. It's been a really off week, Cale has almost slept through every day and every night. The times that he's awake are short and he's extremely agitated. I'm so grateful that instead of just passing it off as just another stage, they want to check it out. I'm praying it is only a new stage.

The speech therapist came in this afternoon and decided to try chocolate pudding instead of ice. Let's just say, Cale wasn't to pleased with either of us being in his room or her trying to put something in his mouth...pudding on him, her, me, and the bed :) Maybe another time.

Here is a new Cale game...I'm not sure what he was doing but it was really funny! If anyone talked to him, he would pull the sheet over his head and hide!

Thursday, June 24, 2010

No! Not Again...

I'm sitting here in a yellow gown...yes the darn things are back. Cale started to show symptoms yesterday of the infection and if they continued today, which they did, back on precautions we go :(

I have been thinking the last couple days, that part of this mood Cale is in, was maybe because of the switch in medication. In therapy today, it was decided that this is just another stage of Cale. He was very clear as to what he wanted, at the time he just wanted to lay down. He's making alot of other statements too! These different changes are good, because like I've said before, it's all part of the healing going on. I just have to learn the new dance steps!

If any of you were to see him right now, I think you would be laughing right along with me...there's nothing else we can do. I'm waiting for the nurse to walk in, and see her reaction... ;)

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Gloomy Rain to Pretty Sunshine :)

I wish that I could write tonight and say what a good day it's been, but it wasn't a very good day. These days that Cale goes through, when he gets so worked up and agitated are getting harder. Even though I know that they are going to come, and he will get through them, it doesn't make it easier. I hate so much having to watch him go through this and I can't do anything to help. Sometimes I'm able to get really close and talk to him softly, and somewhat get him calm, but today when I tried, he ended up grabbing a fistful of my hair and pulled my head down. I know he's not meaning to do anything mean, but I have to start being more careful now. By the time I left the hospital, the wind had started blowing, the dark clouds covered the sky, and it started to rain...a lot. As I was driving back to the hotel, I was thinking the weather matched how I was feeling, very gloomy.

My plan was to come home, put on a sad movie and cry for a while. Sometimes I just need those nights, but instead, I made myself get out of the slump. I started to think about all the good things that have happened in the past, that are happening now, and that I know I can look forward to. One of the "good" things from today was a phone call I made and was able to get the final hearing for guardianship extended. It's now scheduled for August, so I have some time. Also, I found some more old videos on the computer. There were two from 2006 when Cale was home on leave. We had gone to the zoo, and had so much fun with the animals. The videos didn't show him, but I could hear his voice, him laughing, and his silliness, which I'm really missing! I started to feel lots better, looked outside, and the sun was back out!

During the times that Cale is struggling more, it's easy for me to get discouraged, I always have to remind myself of the verse that God gave me over and over in ICU, Isaiah 41:10 Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.
He is my God, and He's Caleb's God! He's going to be with us when we don't understand what's happening or what we're supposed to do. When Cale has hard days or set backs, He is our God and He's in control. When we're feeling weak, He gives us both the strength we need. He's going to help us every step that we're taking, and He is holding Cale with His victorious right hand!

Adam is out of ICU! Please pray specifically for wisdom for Amy during the next week. She has some difficult decisions to make.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

He's Funny...

What a day...the day actually started off really great. Pastor Kirk (from our church in NY) was in the area and made the time, even though he was so busy, to visit with Cale and I. It was about 8:15 this morning, Cale was still sleeping when we got to his room, even with trying to wake him up, he wouldn't budge. I had time to read my bible and make a phone call before Cale finally woke up.

Lately, Cale has been helping to dress himself. When it's time to put his pants on, he will bend his knees and lift his hips. Once Cale did decide to wake up, I was helping the CNA to get him dressed, I asked him to lift his hips, and instead, Cale put his legs completely straight and pushed his bottom into the bed! What?! Haha! He knew what he was supposed to do and did the opposite! I was laughing so hard! That was just the beginning of today. There ended up being only 1/2 of a speech session and a few "interesting messes" to finish the day with. He makes his statement! :)

When PT and OT came in and attempted a session, I sat in my little corner because he was so worked up, I didn't want to be in the way. They ended up leaving after a couple minutes to see if he would calm down, I just sat there, silent, watching him. My heart was aching for him. No one knows what he's feeling or thinking, we have no idea if he will remember all of this one day, or if he will ever get to the point of understanding any of this, all I know is that in those moments, I'm so sad to watch him go through all of this. It's not easy watching him get so worked up, and seem so confused. All I can do is pray that God would be everything for him that I can't be and then so much more. While I was sitting there (not moving or making any sound!), after a couple minutes, Cale turned all the way around and looked at me, then turned back around...he knew I was there! It was so crazy! I was startled at first! I wasn't expecting that! Interesting...

I was reading in Proverbs 5 today. The first part of verse 18 says "Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you." That's what I'm praying I will be for Cale. As he goes through this recovery process, I want to be a fountain of blessing for him :)

Monday, June 21, 2010

A New Record!

Everyone that knows Cale, already knows how much enjoyment he gets when he makes a new record or high score...well he did it again today! He walked SO far! It was really exciting and when he started to get tired, we told him he was almost done, and he pushed himself harder. After the walk PT said he moved his right leg by himself about 50% of the time. This is another huge step! During the second session, they rolled him a soccer ball, he kicked it every time, and used both feet! Every little thing that his right side is doing shows that his brain is continuing to heal everyday. Thank you Lord!

Throughout the day Cale counted with the therapist. I feel like every time he does it, I get so excited, like I'm going to pop out of my skin, but from them I got a "that's great" and then they continued on with whatever they were working on. I know it's not that they aren't excited, it's just now seeing what else he can do with this skill. I had some coins in my wallet today that I was hoping I could get him to count and work on some numbers but why would he give up money? Once it's in his hands, it's his! :)

The report today looked good, not anything new. I kept thinking all day about how much of a blessing it is that he's still in this unit, still getting all of this therapy...he's counting! Wow!

Adam is still in ICU and it looks like two more surgery's still. Please continue to pray for him and Amy.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Sweet Day With The Boy :)

I just finished filling out a horribly long packet about the accident! I've been putting it off since February and finally I hit the deadline. I feel productive! :)

It was such a nice Sunday afternoon! I usually stay with Ty and Nikki on Saturday nights and then drive back Sunday. When I got to the hospital, Cale was just waking up. We spent some time outside relaxing in the sun, cuddled in bed for a while, and just some hanging out time in his chair. It was so nice! He also counted with me again! He's got it down, I'm not worried about him showing them tomorrow. He is having trouble with sleeping lately. He stays up all night and then wants to sleep during therapy. He's still getting some in, but it's only been one session each day. The night nurses say every time they go in at night he's wide awake, and usually getting into trouble! ;)

Today reminded me of a Saturday that Cale and I spent together when we were at Drum, by the end of the day all I could do was smile, that's how it feels now. I remember that whole day all we did was laugh and talk together. We did that a lot but that day was just extra special. I was looking through pictures on Cale's computer and found a few from that afternoon...



The best thing in the world, is knowing that there is one person that knows everything I'm feeling, everything I miss, everything I long for, and His name is Jesus. Through this He has been there the whole time, holding me, loving me, and carrying me. He's been speaking to my heart, that this is not about me. So easily in life when something goes wrong or gets hard, I get caught up in how I feel, what I want, how's it's changed me, but it's not about me. It's about the kingdom. How quickly my focus can sway. Relaxing days with my husband are great and I know God cares even about that, but it's so much bigger then what I see now...

This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held
Chorus from Natalie Grant's song "Held"

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Good ol' Family :)

Another good day for Mr. Darling! Ty and Nikki came up today with Caleb and Hunter. It was extra exciting today, Cale was able to go outside with us. After awhile, Ty started to tap the side of Cale's wheelchair and then Cale tapped back. That went on for a bit, then Ty started counting his taps and Cale would do how many ever Ty had counted. First, he started with one and then went up, after, Ty was doing random numbers and Cale was still able to do it! He was so focused the whole time.

Here's them tapping...

They took a little break and then Cale was still able to tap the number Ty was giving! This is huge! I was told back in ICU that numbers were something Cale would probably never be able to use again, that where his damage is, numbers wouldn't make sense. Now that he's done it once, I'm hoping he'll be in a good mood on Monday and willing to show off to everyone!

Here's the man...haha! :)

It started to get hot so we all went inside to the cafeteria for lunch. This time Cale joined us! I was a little nervous, because too much stimulation isn't a good thing, but for the most part he did good, by the time we were done eating, Cale at that point was very ready for a nap...along with all of us I think :)
Today was fun. It was so fun getting to have my husband involved in family time again. This time, he wasn't just there with only his body, but he was very much a part of it. I miss him. I miss hearing his laugh and silly jokes. There were moments that gave me so much hope and peace, that we are going to have the victory we've all been praying for.

He is your praise; he is your God, who performed for you those great and awesome wonders you saw with your own eyes. Deuteronomy 10:21

Brothers :)

Friday, June 18, 2010

He's My Sunshine :)

Woohoo! Today has been such a good day! Cale has done so much! When I first got here, Cale was still sleeping…side note, right now he’s working on getting the restraints off. He has wrist and mitten restraints, the mitt is off and it’s only been 2 minutes :)

So, speech came in and first did mouth care with Cale. She first tried to give him the tooth brush, but he would just set it to the side. When she was almost done she gave it to him again and this time he put it in his mouth! He brushed the bottom and then turned the toothbrush around and did the top! It was very light and just slight movement, but he understands what he’s supposed to do with it!

Then she did ice trials again. We were trying to get him to use the spoon, but that wasn’t going to happen today. He did let her spoon the ice into his mouth and this time he moved it around and swallowed! Over and over! This afternoon he wouldn’t do it again but I think it was because he had to be woken up from his nap.

For PT and OT Cale worked on a puzzle. They tried this the other day and he didn’t know what to do and wasn’t very interested. This time, he almost put all the pieces in the right place! He was very focused the whole time too! It was great because he wasn't just working on the puzzle, but also having to stay balanced on the side of the bed...good job Cale!


After this morning I had decided that today I should stay with Cale all day. He started off so great, I didn’t want to miss anything. Well, I’m so thankful that I decided to stay because we got to go outside! Yep, his results were negative! Praise God! It was so nice to be back where he can feel the sun on his face :) much better then the hospital room!

Cale really is sunshine in my day. It’s so amazing that he picked me as his wife and I get to be by his side everyday. I love him!

Please continue to pray for Adam and Amy!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Waves of Mercy and Grace

Wow. I just typed up everything…and then lost it. I hate when that happens!

I called and talked to the nurse yesterday afternoon to check on how Cale’s day was going, she said he had a very calm and peaceful day. What a blessing to hear! During the evening a lady that’s a part of my adopted family here, sat with him for awhile and said that he was very responsive while she was there. She shared at one point she asked to see his ring and he held up his hand for her! I left UNC a little after 9pm last night, since I don’t have Basil right now; I went to lay with Cale for a few hours. He was restless when I first got there, but as I laid down he calmed right down, and fell asleep pretty quickly.

I was with him today until about 12:30. Speech tried a “yes” and “no” trial but he’s not quite to that point yet. She did say she feels like he’s on the verge of being able to communicate in that way. It’s a very slow process and hard to explain. It’s great that he’s doing all of these things, it’s just nothing is consistent yet…yet!

Today is the last day of the medicine he’s on for the infection. They’ll go ahead and test him and hopefully the results will be NEGATIVE! I’m praying!

I’m with Amy now. Adam had surgery earlier; the surgeon said it went well. He’s finally resting. Please continue to pray for them. I picked up my bible yesterday and prayed that God would give me something specific for Adam. My reading was in Ezekiel 1. The very first verse he says the heavens were opened and he saw visions of God. Later in vs 3 he said he felt the hand of the Lord take hold of him. All day that was sticking with me, I was thinking about how busy we all are here, but how God can be intimate with Adam like none of us can. We prayed that a lot for Cale, and continue, but the image of right now, with all the turmoil in Adams body, that God would take hold of him and open the heavens that He may see God’s glory, that’s what I’m praying for.

As for me, a song came to mind that I've sang a lot in church growing up, "Every Move I make". As I was singing I thought about how God really has given me His mercy and grace to get through this all.

Every move I make I make in You
You make me move Jesus
Every breath I take I breathe in You

Every step I take I take in You
You are my way Jesus
Every breath I take I breathe in You

Waves of mercy, waves of grace
Everywhere I look I see Your face
Your love has captured me
Oh my God, this love
How can it be?

All through this, every move I make, every breath I take, and every step I take is in Him and I have been seeing His face in all of it. Thank you Lord!

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

His Grace IS Enough

Yesterday was a long day. Cale ended up having a hard day. He was not just a little agitated, he was very agitated. Right before transportation arrived to pick Adam up, the nurse was putting Cale to bed and he smacked her twice in the face, we also had to put restraints on him because he almost pulled out his peg tube…he’s a wild man. It’s a good thing to see him changing like this, it means healing is happening!

When they came to pick Adam up, Amy was able to ride in the ambulance, so I followed behind. He had a minor surgery last night, which is helping them to know what to do next. It sounds like he’s going to be going through two surgeries today.

A lot of not-so-happy emotions flooded me last night. When I went back with Amy to see Adam, it wasn’t the room, but the monitor screen, that reminded me about how many hours I spent starring at it. It’s weird being on this side of things, just waiting and sitting in the waiting room. For awhile last night, I was wondering what I was doing here. Sitting with me were ladies that know Amy. They know Adam and have been through the whole journey with them. I just met them! Lord, what am I doing here? All I know is that He said “go” and I will be obedient. I’m praying that I will be a blessing to Amy, and that God will give me the perfect words to encourage her heart.

I’m so very thankful to everyone that came to be with me while Cale was in ICU or through any part of this. You are very special people in my life, and there are no words to express how much it really means to me, and to Cale.

Amy and I left late last night and went to her house. We were up early, Amy headed right back to NCU to be with Adam and I went to the hospital with Cale for about an hour. He looked good, very sleepy. PT and OT came in while I was there, and he tried to sleep through it! When I walked in this morning I noticed how Cale has gained weight. He still isn’t back to what he was weighing before the accident, but because he’s lost so much muscle, he looks fuller. I’ve never seen him with a tummy! :)

Just so everyone isn't worried about me...I am taking care of myself. It is a large load to carry, being there for Amy and going through all this myself. God is giving me the grace, and He is enough to sustain me. Thank you for caring!

Though the rain comes in torrents and the flood waters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. Matthew 7:25

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

A Little Like David

Cale hasn't been very responsive today. They tried to sit him next to the sink again today, but he didn't want any part of it. He's constantly trying to pull everyone's yellow gowns off...I think he hates these as much as I do!

Early this afternoon, Amy found out that there are some complications with Adam and he's going to need surgery. They can't do it here, so they are sending him back to ICU at UNC. When she told me, as we hugged and cried, I felt immediately that I need to go with her. I'm not sure if I will be there just for tonight or a couple nights. I am struggling a bit, thinking about how I won't be here with Cale, but I'm so thankful that he is stable and healing. Cale is doing so good. I want to be a blessing for Amy, and there's no one else around that can sit next to her and know what it feels like. Will you pray for us? The next couple days are going to be challenging. I will keep everyone updated. If you're in the area and are willing to sit with Cale for short periods that would be a blessing! Visiting hours are 4pm-8pm.

I have a confession...I've been feeling guilty lately about when I'm having a hard time with all of this. I know God is doing big things, and I know Cale has come a long way but sometimes, even with all the good, I have days that are just hard and I miss Cale. I also know that it's okay for me to have hard days. It is, and it's normal. I think because I see where Adam is and I remember when Cale was there, having a hard time to me, has seemed like I'm not being grateful for how far Cale has come. Even though I know in my heart this isn't at all what it's like, it feels like it.

I've been reading a lot in Psalms and reading through Davids reign, in 1&2 Samuel. I love that even with all that God did in David's life, reading through the Psalms that he wrote, there were times of good and bad, ups and downs. David cried out to God for help during his time of fleeing from Saul and through many battles that he faced. While I cry out to God for help, I'm also trusting Him with EVERY part of this, kind of like David did :)

I read yesterday a psalm that I felt was right out of my journal that I wanted to share...
O Lord, you alone are my hope. I’ve trusted you, O LORD, from childhood. Yes, you have been with me from birth; from my mother’s womb you have cared for me. No wonder I am always praising you! My life is an example to many, because you have been my strength and protection. That is why I can never stop praising you; I declare your glory all day long. Psalm 71:5-8

Thank you for being on this journey with me, the good days and the bad days. Thank you for reading my roller coaster thoughts and even more, thank you for praying for us.

If you haven't yet and would like to be apart of the prayer chain, email prayingforcale@yahoo.com Make sure to include your name and location! Thank you!

Amy

Please say an extra prayer today for Amy. She just found out some hard news, I'll share more later, but for now will you pray?

Monday, June 14, 2010

Dancing

We started Monday off super great! When I walked in Cale’s room this morning He was sitting at the sink, PT and OT were helping him brush his teeth. It was so exciting! He wasn’t very willing to put the tooth brush in his mouth but he did let them do it and then he did drink some water, attempted to swish it around, and then opened his mouth over the sink. Wow! How far he has come from the days in ICU when he wouldn’t even open his mouth! After they were done with mouth care, they pulled his wheel chair over to the bed, and Cale helped transfer! He reached to his chair and started the transfer and they just guided him over! Oh goodness! I feel so overwhelmed with joy! It’s so amazing to watch him do all of these things!

Report Day:
Cale now weighs 136.3 pounds! He’s only a few pounds off from what he normally is! Woohoo! They changed his feeding to 400ml, still 6 times a day and are now giving him water along with that. He has a couple more days on the medicine for his infection and then they will retest him. Let’s pray his body is clear of ALL infections! They’re saying he’s keeping both eyes open about 75% of the time during the day. There’s a few different times mentioned that he’s progressing with ADL (activities of daily living) and that gets me crazy happy! Haha! Time frame now says…11 weeks! So there is no confusion, they haven’t extended Cale because of progress, it’s military related…and a HUGE blessing!

Dancing has a very special place in my life. It’s such a beautiful thing. In 2004 a bunch of us were going to prom together. Cale and I went just as friends and the very next day he asked me to date him. Less then a year later we were married :) At some point that night during our silly dancing, Caleb Michael Darling won my heart. After he deployed the first time and I was in New York, alone without all of my friends and family, I spent a lot of time dancing with the Lord. I have a special song that when I hear it, I go to a place that’s just me and God and I twirl and I feel His presence so strong.

This journey that I’m on right now is just like dancing. We have taken steps forward (so many steps!) and we’ve taken steps backwards. There are always new steps being added and steps changing. Every time Cale has been reaching out to me or hugging me I feel like I’m twirling, and every precious sweet kiss he gives, I feel like I’m being dipped. God is singing over us, holding all of my the tears, and I know He delights in us and our love for each other.

From the first night we were together, and for as long as God allows, I will hold Cale’s hand and dance.

You did it: you changed wild lament into whirling dance; You ripped off my black mourning band and decked me with wildflowers. I'm about to burst with song; I can't keep quiet about you. GOD, my God, I can't thank you enough.
Psalm 30:11-12 (the message)

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Well Done

I lift up my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip— he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD watches over you— the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore. Psalm 121

I know that I keep saying it's been "different" or "weird" lately and really, that's the only way I know how to describe the last few days. All through this journey, Cale has had times that he's doing great (being cooperative, doing new things, more focused) then he has times that he's not so great (being agitated, not wanting anything to do with anybody, not wanting to do anything). This has all become new way of life. Well, the difference the last few days is that Cale is very agitated almost all the time but he's also progressing quite a bit. Today, he dressed himself almost by himself! That's HUGE!

I'm having to learn this new stage we're going through. When I don't get the sleep I should, like the past few nights, then I just feel so exhausted. I got to the point this afternoon, that I don't want to fight him anymore. He pulls at his brief constantly, so now, I realize it's not hurting him, it's not that big of a deal. It's getting harder because he's more aware, when he pushes me away. It's so hard because I just want to be with him, loving him. I know it's not that he doesn't want me there, or that he doesn't love me. I have to keep reminding myself this is a stage they said he would go through, and I can still love him, and be his wife, praying so hard for him, fighting with him.

I not only feel like I'm going through a new stage with Cale, but also with the Lord. I find myself sitting and thinking about how amazing He is. His timing is so perfect. I'm not sure that I will ever understand this side of heaven why this happened, I do know that I want to meet Jesus and hear him say "well done my good and faithful servant."



He truly is helping me through this, every step. I was listening to a song that's written about Psalm 36 and it blessed my heart so much this morning. It's by Third Day. Here's the chorus...
Your love, oh Lord
Reaches to the heavens
Your faithfulness stretches to the sky
Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains
Your justice flows like the ocean's tide
I will lift my voice
To worship You, my King
I will find my strength
In the shadow of your wings

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Healing-For Both of Us :)

Last night it was late when I wrote, so I didn't get to take the time and share a very special praise. I've mentioned in a previous post that I was having a hard time when I saw baby stuff or a pregnant woman. Well, it was more then just a hard time. For as long as I can remember, babies were an extremely joyful thing for me. I've wanted my own for so long, but Cale and I had decided when we first got married that we were going to wait until he was done with the Army so he wouldn't have to miss anything. In 2006 when Cale was deployed, God opened the doors for me to go to Malawi and hold babies for 6 months! It was amazing. Even then I was missing Cale like crazy, a baby always made me smile.

After the accident, when I would see a baby, pregnant women, or even parents with their children, my heart would feel so angry and it would feel like someone kicked me in the gut. I know, it's horrible...but it's the ugliness that's been eating inside me. I've been praying that God would soften my heart again, that he would give me that love for new life, instead of bitterness that I might never be able to have a baby.

Last night, Shawna and I went to dinner and on our way out, there was a couple walking towards us with a newborn. As soon as I saw the baby, my reaction was "Awe!". There was no bitterness, anger, jealousy, or pain. It was beautiful!

As Cale is going through this healing process, so am I. There are things that God is daily having to confront me with and I'm having to get on my knees and surrender. This heart issue that may not seem like a big thing was huge. The Lord is so good.

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
Psalm 139:23-24

Friday, June 11, 2010

Weird.

What a weird day.

Cale did a couple things that were a little weird and I'm not sure what to think of them. After I got back from lunch today, I walked in his room, said "hi!" and he pointed at me. He did it three times really fast. I stepped closer to him and said hi again he touched my face three times really fast. I'm not sure that I know how to explain it very good. It'll be interesting to see if we're getting ready to enter into a new season or if it's just nothing at all. I think because I hadn't seen him do anything like that before, it stuck out to me. At the end of all the craziness, Cale grabbed my face and pulled me in for a kiss! Woohoo! :)

He seemed to be very agitated part of the day but at the same time in a good mood? I'm not really sure about that either. This morning he wouldn't let them do mouth care and was just not willing to do anything, but it wasn't the normal off day. I think this is coming out all confused like it is in my head!

An exciting thing is Cale made a new record today on how many steps he's taken! I'm not sure how far it is yet but for sure over 100ft!

It's Shawna's last night here with me. It's sad to say good bye. She's been such a blessing.



Part of today was really hard for Cale. Can you continue to pray for the infection he has? It's so miserable for him. It broke my heart this afternoon seeing him in so much pain and so worked up. It took a little while to calm him down and then once I did, he was so sweet and let me talk to him and a couple times he reached out to my face. Those moments are so amazing. I remember being so desperate to feel his touch.

Faith isn't the ability to believe long and far into the misty future. It's simply taking God at His Word and taking the next step.
- Joni Erickson Tada

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Amazing Blessings

It's been 4 months since the accident. It's crazy to think that I'm still going through this, Cale is still going through this. I was so sure that by now we would be going through rehab and Cale and I would be laughing together again. It's not quite how I pictured today would be, but of course none of this is what I pictured! I was thinking on Monday about how this was a big week, 4 months is a long time, and I wondered how I was going to handle it. Was this going to be a hard day? Would it be full of tears? Would I be able to get out of bed? Well, to my surprise, I'm not only having a great day, but I'm so overwhelmed with thankfulness and blessings! I'm definitely not going to say it's been an easy journey so far (as you all have read!) but as I look back through it, God has completely been with me and gone before me through every step. He's given me strength when I felt so weak and small, He's given me peace from the very first night, He's provided family when mine is across the country, He's provided joy when I was feeling robbed of happiness with Cale. He is amazing, truly amazing!

The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace. Psalm 29:11

Here is Cale 4 days after the accident

Here is Cale today Praise God!
video

My heart is so full of love and thankfulness for the Lord. I'm still sitting here amazed that so many are STILL praying for us.

I had my meeting with Beth today and as I was looking over the report with her, I was noticing so many encouraging things! Wording has changed, like, emerging response, increased tracking, increased use with both hands, increased awareness, with his sitting balance, it now says moderate assistance rather then max. How exciting!

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

Peace that He gives is definitely not anything the world can give!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

A Shattered Praise

It's been interesting today. Cale has been really agitated and angry all day. There was a point yesterday that was the same, just very unhappy. It was a little after 1pm, he was calm so I decided to cuddle for a bit :) When I walked to the bed he reached his arm out to me. Ahh...I just really love those moments! I laid next to him, my head on his chest and listened to his heat beat. I was reminded that there was a few days Cale was fighting for his life, every beat of his heart is a blessing, every breath is a blessing.

I know there are so many of you praying for Cale and I'm very grateful! Today I met someone that I would like to ask you to also pray for. Her name is Amy and her husband just arrived in Cale's unit. She is incredibly sweet and I know God is going to do amazing things in our new friendship. Her husbands accident was about a month ago and has injuries on the same side as Cale. My heart is breaking for her because I know how I was feeling at that stage. I'm praying that God would use me to be a blessing to her. Would you join me in praying for her husband Adam's recovery? She is already so precious to me and I've only known her a few hours!


I heard a song today that I wanted to share. The words seem so perfect for all the things in my heart. I had to listen to it a few times, I encourage you to listen to it, it's so beautiful.

Broken Hallelujah-Mandisa
With my love and my sadness
I come before You Lord
My heart’s in a thousand pieces
Maybe even more

Yet I trust in this moment
You’re with me somehow
And You’ve always been faithful
So Lord even now

When all that I can sing
Is a broken hallelujah
When my only offering
Is shattered praise
Still a song of adoration
Will rise up from these ruins
I will worship You and give You thanks
Even when my only praise
Is a broken hallelujah

Oh Father, You have given
Much more than I deserve
And I have felt Your hand of blessing
On me at every turn

How could I doubt Your goodness
Your wisdom, Your grace
So Lord hear my heart
In this painful place

Chorus

Hallelujah
I lift my voice
Your Spirit moves
I raise my hands
I reach for You

Chorus

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Time...Friend or Foe?

I realized today that I'm getting in another rut. I think overall, I have an icky attitude today. I'm missing Cale and I get wrapped up in having such big expectations everyday. I know that the last couple weeks, he has been doing lots of new things, I think it just gets to the point that all I want are really big things. Like I just can't get satisfied. It's not really fair to Cale, because he's working so hard, and if I look back in my journal or the blog, he is progressing and doing great. It all comes down to me really missing him. Time is my friend right now as far as him healing and getting better, but I'm not going to say I like waiting, because I don't. I've told God a lot today about what I think about this whole thing. I think since I know He can handle all my thoughts, I let Him know even more, I just really hate this.

Now that I'm done whining...I'm not sure that I've shared that Cale is now tracking? He turns his head and follows, and it actually seems like he's really looking. He also has doubled his walking distance, it was 50ft. Sometimes when they walk him, he does really well, and sometimes they kind of move him along. He's also been helping a little when they dress him. Still no sound.

Today, speech gave him a little cup with water, usually he just holds the cup or raises it in the air. This time he put it to his lips and poured it in his mouth! It didn't stop there, he also swallowed! He did that twice and then she gave him a cup with ice chips and a spoon. He studied it for a while and then scooped up some ice and put it in his mouth. These are two things she's been working with him for a while! It's so exciting to see him actually do it! I feel awfully silly now for complaining...

Thank you so much for continuing to pray for us.

Here's a verse from a comment yesterday. It's one that I actually pray often on my walk in the mornings :)
Therefore humble yourselves...under the mighty hand of God, that in due time He may exalt you. Casting the whole of your care- all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all- on Him; for he cares for you affectionately, and cares about you watchfully.
1 Peter 5:7 AMP

Monday, June 7, 2010

Love Letters

I was reading in Luke 7 on Friday and a passage stuck with me that I want to share.
There was a Roman officer with a slave that was very sick and about to die. The Officer sent men to get Jesus to heal this slave. Then verses 6-10 say: So Jesus went with them. But just before they arrived at the house, the officer sent some friends to say, “Lord, don’t trouble yourself by coming to my home, for I am not worthy of such an honor. I am not even worthy to come and meet you. Just say the word from where you are, and my servant will be healed. I KNOW this because I am under the authority of my superior officers, and I have authority over my soldiers. I only need to say, ‘Go,’ and they go, or ‘Come,’ and they come. And if I say to my slaves, ‘Do this,’ they do it.” When Jesus heard this, he was amazed. Turning to the crowd that was following him, he said, “I tell you, I haven’t seen faith like this in all Israel!” And when the officer’s friends returned to his house, they found the slave completely healed.

I've read this passage several times, but on Friday I started to think about verse 8 when the man says "I know this". He had no doubt. I'm challenging myself with being mindful of when I come before the Lord, I do it without second guessing or not fully believing that He is in control. I've heard lots of people say, and even for me, it's hard to know what to pray for with this situation. I know whatever we do ask, we need to ask with confidence that God knows exactly what's going on and He is in control!

Cale and I have been married 5 years and during our marriage we've both written a crazy amount of love letters to each other. He's been gone a lot so that's been our special thing. Even when he would come home we would still write them to each other. Today I wrote on a paper, showed Cale and wanted to see what he was going to do. He wrote back :) Here is our newest addition to our love letter collection.

I'm not sure what his says, and even though he doesn't know it's a love letter, I'm going to say it is :)

My meeting with the Case Manager is moved to Thursday, so we'll have to wait for any updates with that. Today was an okay day. I feel like Cale was in a weird mood but that might just be me :)

The infection he has, decided at some point to hang on for dear life. They switched the medicine today for 10 days so I'm praying it gets kicked out of him! These yellow gowns are dreadful...

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Butterflies, Kisses, and Clouds

Good news is I'm typing tonight from my computer! What a HUGE blessing! All of my stuff is on it and I feel happy! :) I'm so thankful that not once did I have a stinky attitude about it dying on me because I would feel so silly right now!

Bad news is I was spending some much needed time with my adopted family here, so now it's getting late and I still have a few things to get done tonight. So...I'm going to try to fit all the updates in really quick.

I called Cale's mom today and gave the phone to Cale, once again he put it to his ear! I was brushing his teeth today and asked him to spit into the towel I was holding under his chin, he put his head down and let everything run out, kind of like a slow spit ;) I also put him in front of the sink to try to get him to wash his hands. His right hand seemed very interested, but his left hand didn't want anything to do with it. After, I was explaining to him that learning to wash his hands again is helping him to get better. I asked if he could give me a thumbs up for learning to wash his hands and he did! They've been asking him to do this for so long and today he did it twice! I can't wait to see if he's going to do it again for everyone.

I'm feeling excited about waking up and seeing what's going to happen tomorrow. God is doing so many things in my heart as I watch my husband progress everyday. I love that even now, with Cale how he is, and all that's been going on, I can still get butterflies in my tummy when I walk in his hospital room, getting kisses now makes me feel like I'm walking on clouds! I'm very glad that God saw that man needed a helper, and I get to be that for Cale.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” Genesis 2:18

Saturday, June 5, 2010

A Phone Call

Thank you everyone for praying for me! I think it was just allergys. It really took me down, and I agree with one of the comments from yesterday about my body saying slow down. Life here is a constant. I haven't taken much time to just relax and not do anything. I was still able to spend the morning with Cale yesterday, and then just slept. This morning I woke up, and felt SO much better!

This morning started off with a nice surprise! Cale seemed more awake when I got to the hospital, which is always a good thing :) I grabbed my phone to see what he would do with it. I showed him where it goes and asked if he would put it to his ear...and he did! It took a tiny bit, but he did it! Then I called mama and had her talk and again he put it to his ear! Yay Cale! It was so exciting! When Ty and Nikki came I had him do it again and he did! He's a superstar! :) Soon he'll be talking too!

Days like today make yucky days like yesterday seem like not a big deal :)

Friday, June 4, 2010

Bad Door to Open...

I woke up this morning with a crazy stuffy nose...ugg. I still got out of bed, washed up, and out the door. My first stop today was the vet. Last night Basil let a tick land on his body. Horrible creature (the tick not Basil!). I took him in this morning just to get it checked out. Then I was off to the hospital. I only lasted a couple hours, until I drove back to the hotel and crawled into bed...where I'm still at!

First, I guess Cale had a busy morning with his hands. I love getting stories when I get to the hospital everyday, about my husband getting into trouble. I think he would be proud there are so many! Heehee! He was in a good mood when I got there. He let me brush his teeth, clean his nails, and he played ball. The whole time I was sniffling, sneezing, and coughing. With the infection he has, I don't want him to get ANYTHING bad from me so I knew I needed to leave. Since the day after the accident, I've made it a goal not to get sick or do anything that causes me to miss a day with Cale. Well, something caught me.

At one point this afternoon when I was laying in bed, I started to let my mind wander. I always have hated being alone and sick. I remember when I was younger and would get sick, I hated when Mama had to go to work. I just wanted her to stay with me and watch movies all day. I'm the same even now, I just hate to be alone. All that to say, I was already sad because neither Cale or Mama are able to be here and take care of me, and then I opened the door for the enemy to come in. It wasn't a sob fest, just a time of really sad thoughts. I hate that this happened. I hate that it has forever changed my marriage, when I thought it was almost perfect. A lot of not fun stuff going through my head. I could feel myself giving in to the darkness that was coming from every direction it felt like. I pray every morning that I would be a light to the dark, that I would walk in light no matter what. I know this might sound dramatic as you're reading, but as I was laying there, me and Basil, I felt all the drama fill the room.

Sleep came and when I woke up it was 5pm. Basil was ready for a walk and I could hardly pull myself off the bed. I didn't even bother turning lights on before going outside. I knew I was not fit for the world to see me, mascara smeared on my face, with very nice bed head. Thankfully, not too many people are ever on the special trail I walk.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Philippians 4:8

I am feeling better now, praying that this evening will be a peaceful and restful one. I know I am not alone, Christ is with me. He's with Cale too, God's breathing life into him everyday. I KNOW because we're all praying for it. Also praying I wake up refreshed and all better so I can spend a wonderful day next to my beloved.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

:)

The morning started off a bit on the feisty side, Cale didn't want to have anything to do with me or the nurse. After a couple hours he warmed up to the day and we had some fun taking pictures.
In therapy they tried getting him to play ball while sitting on the edge of the bed with out the rail. He caught the ball and didn't want to let it go. Even for a sweet picture...

He started to get mad that they were trying to take his ball so he showed them his fist!

Then because I was right next to him, he put my hand behind my back and held me hostage! Yes, I'm a smiling hostage! Haha!

Until he realized that I was his wife that he loves :)

A new thing today, Cale for the first time, has started closing his lips and swallowing! This is huge because so far, he keeps his mouth open all the time and it's hard to swallow with an open mouth...try it ;) So...once he gets down the swallowing when the ice or water is in his mouth, then we can try food! This is something that it looked like he wasn't going to be able to do. Praise God!
I also found out today that we are going to be in the area another 5 weeks. The Army is still deciding what they're going to do with him and when. It's in Cale's favor to stay here because he'll continue to get so much therapy.
This week has flown by! I can't believe tomorrow is already Friday. It's exciting to think about all that can happen in 5 weeks! NC, you're stuck with us for a little longer.

Here's a verse that Cale and I really like. It's helped in our marriage a few times... :)
Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Ephesians 4:2

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

An Angry Monkey?

I have been trying all day to think of a description of Cale. He's like a wild animal, I just can't think of which one fits best. He has been all over the place today. Several times, he has turned himself completely sideways in bed...

This picture doesn't even show him turned all the way! He's also grabbed, pulled, yanked on, pushed, and whatever else he could do to anything around him. When therapy tried to do stuff with him today, he just kind of ignored what they were asking and did his own thing. I've been wrestling with him all day, trying to keep him from pulling his feeding tube. At one point it was me and the nurse trying to get him situated and we were about to call for back up! :) The shirt he is wearing is from Mike Ehrsam and it says "Tough Cookie" well, it fits! I almost can compare it to being at the rodeo and watching the guys ride those bucking broncos.

I keep forgetting to ask for prayer with the infection Cale has. He first had the lung infection which is all better now, but then he came positive for a different infection that from the sounds of it, it's pretty expected when he's on so many antibiotics. The treatment was supposed to be for 10 days and then if the test came back negative they would take him off precautions. Well, the 10 days ended Tuesday but he's still having some of the side effects from the infection. Will you pray with me that it would just leave his poor body and he would be infection free? I would love to take him outside again!

I want to say again how thankful I am for everyone that is reading this blog and praying for Cale. It really means so much to me and encourages my heart everyday. I never thought the blog would be such a big thing or used so much. It's been a blessing! Every time I hear that someone is praying for Cale it's not just a small thing to me, it's huge! I am truly blessed and I feel like "thank you" is so small compared to what I feel. I know Cale would say the same.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

#1 Husband!

Yikes! Another busy day! I'm making progress (maybe!) though. The report didn't really have anything new. I will say, it is so exciting to see the changes on paper! I get to see them happen everyday but for some reason seeing it in black ink makes it feel official. I think because it means I'm not the only one seeing it! As far as how much longer before we move...unknown. I'm still not worried about it because Cale really is getting awesome care here.

Today they gave him a new wheelchair to try out. It's a regular one that can be controlled by the wheels. The therapists just wanted to see what Cale would do in it for this first time. I was impressed! He reached down and used his left hand to turn the wheel. We'll have to work on getting the right hand to work too! Another step!

So...a moment to brag ;) Even though Cale is coming out of a coma, he still spoils me! The speech therapist gives him a small massage thing that he likes to turn on and off. It was really funny the first time she gave it to him, he only would hold it with two fingers! Shortly before I left tonight, I had my head on his chest and he was holding the massage thing. I asked him to put it on my back and he did! He even moved it around for awhile! Not only did it feel nice getting a massage, I was cuddling with Cale at the same time :) How wonderful it is to be loved by him! Heehee!

The last few days while I've been hunting for a new home, I have been battling for control. I'm having to constantly remind myself (and be reminded by others!) that God is in control and I just need to trust Him! It's so much easier that way!

I've always loved this verse!
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6