Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Wandering a New Road

This problem I have is that every single time I get on here to type up a new post, the blank screen freaks me out because I have so much I want to share with you and then it feels like too much because I've waited too long. It gets so intimidating that I end up not posting which causes the next time I get on here to post even more dramatic in my mind. 

It's a vicious cycle I tell ya. 

Now it's been far too long once again.

We've been enjoying summer at home; BBQ's, garden picking, friends, sun, and so much more! :)

I'll start with pictures like usual...

One of my friends who is more like a big sister had a baby the end of last month. Let me just say that I have been gushing all over this little one. She is so sweet and perfect. While I sat at the hospital waiting for her to come into this world, I felt so inpatient wanting to meet her! I've now gotten to spend quite a bit of time with her and LOVE every minute of it. She's a keeper. :)

We spent a couple days of fun with Mike and Rae. It was our first visit in a looooong time that didn't revolve around our next long run. We did keep the idea of a run open, but ended up choosing to have a run free weekend. Fishing happened though! 

We have a new table! The table that was given to us when we were at the other house, we love, but it was too tiny! It only seats 4 and the two sides are hard to sit at because of the way the legs sit. I didn't have an issue with it, but other people I live with did...haha. Anyways, I still loved the table so we coated it with special stuff and it's now on our patio (which I'm sitting at while typing this up!). A guy at our church who is amazing with wood was willing to build us a farmhouse table! After it was built, Mama helped me sand and paint...perfect! It seats 8 and is ready for family and friends to eat with us. We have random chairs that we've painted the same color, so we're on a hunt for two more chairs! We've already enjoyed several meals sitting at it and look forward to the many more! Thank you Dennis for this beautiful gift!! 

We had a great 4th of July! We spent time with Cale's side of the family and had a blast! It was a BBQ with swimming and I wasn't sure how it was going to go. Cale ended up having so much fun...which included him throwing balls at his Aunts! Haha! We also went to see a movie and picked veggies from our slow growing garden! Looking at this picture I took and then looking at the difference now is huge! Yay for fresh veggies! 

Cale's chosen words for the door to his man cave. Ha.

This guy is all mine. 

Echo was Cale's favorite dog. In fact, before the accident, he was determined that Echo would be his when we moved from Ft Drum. After the accident and once home, he didn't seem to remember Echo as much as we all expected. I'm not sure if it was because we had Basil and that was a little confusing, or if memory was a barrier. Not really sure, but a couple weekends ago Echo had to be put down. We went over before she was taken in and spent some time with her. When they were about to leave, Cale suddenly was very worked up and emotional. It was a sad day for sure. Echo was full of really good memories for me...memories of a young man that I fell in love with. 

Cale works and works at this thing. He chooses a color and will try to get just one side. He'll work on it for awhile and then throw it down and say he's done...and then get back to it at another time. When one side was all yellow-it was a very big deal! 

Lots of goodies we're growing! 

Do you remember me writing about the days when Cale could hardly make it through a church service and eventually stopped going? Last year was tough, but to see the difference in even just this area since returning from 7E is incredible! Standing next to him worshipping every Sunday will never grow old...and sitting next to him watching him try to write questions he has during the sermon; oh my word. This was beyond a beautiful thing. We couldn't translate some of what he was writing but we were able to later discuss his questions we could figure out. He couldn't remember the topic or the background on them but knew they were his since he wrote them down! 

We went to a picnic in the park one Sunday night with a bunch of people from churches here in the Tri-cities. It may not seem like a big deal, but doing this before now would have not happened, or at least not have been a pleasurable experience. Thanking Jesus for all the little gifts He's given us! 

We went to the west side of the state for a super quick visit! We were able to visit family and Cale had a doc appointment. He loved the visit...but not the appt! All is good with his tumor though! No growth. 

I did a color run. It was a 5k and went a whole lot quicker than my last race! Haha! It was so much fun! Kylie (who works with Cale twice a week) ran it with me...and I haven't run since. Need to make it happen! 

I went to a concert with Mama in Spokane. It was fun to hang out with her and be silly together. We're pretty good at it. :) Peter Furler who was the lead singer of the Newsboys, Colton Dixon who was on American Idol, and then Third Day were the lucky guys to entertain us...and we had some really good seats! Fun night...

We took a little road trip and picked up my sweet-as-pie niece. She spent a little over a week with us that was packed full with, playing princess iPad games with Uncle Cale, riding camels, petting elephants, feeding a giraffe, visiting with great grandma, getting hair brushed by Uncle Cale and wearing crowns to Walmart, going to the park to play, getting nails done, eating at daddy's favorite restaurant,  and getting lots of hugs from Auntie. 

It was such a special week! She went home today and I miss her already! With suddenly having a hyper 7 year old around all the time, it was a bit of a shock to our systems, but Cale did awesome with her! I loved loved LOVED watching them together! Never enough time...


Time for a few randoms...

If you spend any time with Cale, you will most likely end up seeing pictures on his phone. And he will most likely show you over and over every time you see him. I totally love that he has his pictures on his phone and by using that tool, he's able to have his own memories and stories to share. Sometimes he gets confused with all the details and the stories change-but they're his. He loves to show pictures from archery because he loves archery. He loves pictures of scratch and taking them of people that we're hanging out with because it becomes his story and his experience to share! So, just may see them over and over...but I hope that you will enjoy it as much as I do! 

We've changed the name of our blog and the address to it! It was named Cale's Recovery and the address was (of course, I didn't need to tell you that since you knew it to get to this page...) and now the name is a Darling kind of life and the address is it's all set to redirect you and nothing else has changed! Cale let me know he didn't like the name at all because Cale's Recovery meant that he was sick and it shouldn't be because it wasn't his blog. After several conversations of me trying to explain, we decided it would be completely fine to just change it and no worries would need to continue :)
So...along with that, and because of the stage we're in, this blog will continue to be updates of our life and all that goes on with it, my babbles and struggles, and the journey the Lord has us on. Not as much focused on Cale and him getting better...but I kind of feel it's already been that way... :)
A Darling kind of life was what we both chose after trying to figure out what would best fit. What do you think? We like it! 

Before I finish up and move on with the day, I want to share something with you and ask that you would pray for us when you think of it?

When the accident happened, I was there-awake and experiencing every inch of road we were suddenly walking. I have had this constant communication with Jesus right next to me; every step. I've gone through a process where my heart has been molded and shaped and I've been able to hear from all of you the way our story has impacted you and encouraged you with whatever season you're going through. I've been able to meet so many of you; building special relationships. I've been able to step out of my bad days and see everything from a different light.

Cale on the other hand is just now starting to really understand that he's different. He's injured. This is a very different road that he's walking and suddenly becoming aware of. Because of his memory this is often even more confusing and difficult. We've had many conversations and have spent time praying together but those moments are always forgotten and need to be rediscussed. It seems that with me I was moving forward on this road with new sights always at hand helping me along, but with Cale, he's reliving the very same moment again and again. 

With many things, like the color orange for instance, some days if you ask if it's a good color he'll say yes, but other days he'll say, "eh, no." His likes and dislikes change minute by minute along with his thoughts and views. Some days God is good and sometimes he doesn't get Him at all (I think we're all like this-at least a little!) and some days everything is just peachy. 

At church on Sunday we discussed Job. That meant that most of the lesson discussed our suffering and our response through it and knowing that God is in control the whole time. 

Job has been a book that I've read many times and with reading it, I have been able to sit and write out everything that has been lost; parts of our marriage, our life, friendships, our dreams...and then I have written everything I've seen unfold because of who God is in our life. Cale was mostly on his phone the whole time we were in our group, but at the very end he turned to me "Why did I get hurt?" he asked. He wasn't upset but asked again, "Why am I hurt so bad? Why is my brain hurt?" I was trying to talk to him quietly and trying to help, but I could tell we weren't going to get anywhere. I think Cale knew too because he then asked, "does he know?" pointing to Chad. "Let's ask him!" is all I could think to say. So, Cale waited until Chad was done talking to someone else, plopped right down next to him and asked his questions. I stepped back and let them talk so I didn't hear how all the conversation went, but afterwards I asked if it helped and Cale said it did. A few hours later he didn't remember anything about it, but I know in that moment of confusion and question it helped talking it out with Chad.

Good days will come and go but "Why?" is a hard question that may never be answered and when you have a brain injury and want concrete answers...that doesn't sit well.  

I guess what we need prayer for is through this time of him becoming more aware, will you bring him before the Lord while he walks this new road before him?

I'm reminded of one of my favorite verses...

And I will lead the blind
    in a way that they do not know,
in paths that they have not known
    I will guide them.
I will turn the darkness before them into light,
    the rough places into level ground.
These are the things I do,
    and I do not forsake them.
-Isaiah 42:16