Monday, April 5, 2010

Update - Kathleen

I just realized that the post that Beth typed last night was the 100th post! I'm not sure that's significant at all but that's ok :) It's a pointless fact.

I'm sitting next to Cale's bed right now. He's gotten pretty feisty. Over the weekend I knew something was different. I thought maybe Cale wasn't feeling good, or just having those off days that I knew would come, but today there is such a difference in him! He's gotten a lot more aggressive and angry. I also think he's more alert then he has been. Earlier I was sitting by his bed talking to him and it really seemed like he could hear me. I've had lots of those moments, I know, but today was a little different then before. In speech today, Cale wouldn't do anything. He didn't want mouth care done or any ice chips. He's more purposeful. All good things! It's interesting to see the change. His off days weren't because something bad was happening, just that he's waking up a little more. He's also doing a lot better with his trach capped today. His heart rate is staying mostly under 100 and other then trying to pull it out again, he seems fine. They did the chest x-ray but I haven't heard anything about it yet. The nurse said to check tomorrow morning.

Cale also has had an infection since he's been in ICU. They tested for it Saturday night and it takes a couple days for results. I'm not going to say what the infection is, but will you pray with me for the results to be negative? I may have an answer tomorrow.

Tonight is my first night actually being alone since the accident. I've been so blessed to have such amazing people in my life, that have been so willing to come sit with me, even when it's not always very fun. I'll be honest and say that I've been dreading today. I had to take Joe and Beth to the airport this afternoon and I wasn't sure how I would do. I'm very much a people person and I don't do very good alone. Thankfully, I serve a God that's personal and He is able to comfort me in ways that not even a friend or any of my family can. After I left the airport I thought I might just fall apart but once again I felt so much peace. I know it's going to be ok :)

Joe, Beth and I went to church yesterday. It was the second time since the accident that I've been able to go. The pastor was talking about, with all the bad news in the media, with all that's going on, he had some good news for us. He started with Matthew 28:10 and how the first thing Jesus said post resurrection was "Greetings" and then "Do not be afraid". He says do not be afraid many times in the bible, including Isaiah 41:10 which has become a very huge part of my life through all of this. I was thinking about all the things in life that aren't always clear in the bible as far as if it's ok to do or not. Well, one thing that God does say is not to be afraid. Through this time of recovery, and now, being with out company, I will not be afraid. The second point was in Luke 24:39 after the disciples saw Jesus for the first time after the resurrection he said "touch me". He was real. He wasn't a ghost, or someones imagination, He was alive. Again, going back to me serving a God who is personal. He's not my bank account, my car, or a happy place. He's alive! I can have a relationship with him and talk to him whenever I want. Third point, in John 21:19 Jesus says "Follow me". He gave purpose for my life. He didn't just put me on this earth and say "ok, it's all you." He gave me a reason to get up in the morning and live! Even when things happen, like getting in a car accident, and having Cale in a coma, He gave me a purpose, this doesn't end my life. It stinks, but it's not the end. The last point was Matthew 28:20 he says "I am with you always" ALWAYS! Even in the hard stuff. He's with me and I'm not alone.

That's a lot of babbling but it's all in my head, so now everyone gets to hear it :)

I think this week is going to be full of new things! It's crazy for me to look back and think about all those really long days in ICU when there was no movement. Now Cale doesn't stop moving and things can get pretty exciting! Just in the time I've typed this he almost had his trach pulled all the way out. The nurses are so amazed with him. I am too!

4 comments:

  1. Kathleen,
    You are such an inspiration to me. I admire your strength and faith. You get the big picture! God is going to bless you and Cale because you believe in him without fail. Know that you may feel all alone right now, but you have so many people who are keeping you in their thoughts and prayers. Love ya!
    Mandy Anderson

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  2. dont look at it as though your alone,but now is time you too can spend just the two of you.i know what that alone thing feels like though.(when caleb was sick)i was alone alot.love you

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  3. Great picture, Kathleen. He will improve every day. I know they get long but am proud of you for trusting in your God even when it could a be dark time. Jesus really is the LIGHT!! Amen. I'm sending you the soup recipe. I'm sure you will enjoy it. Glad you got to go to church this week. That will be a connection for you, to HIS people, that are close by. Keep looking up girl. He's watching and He's the god who sees!!! Love, Julie

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  4. Kathy Beckett4/11/10, 11:00 AM

    Kathleen, My name is Kathy Beckett and I am a member of the church you attended on Easter Sunday. The Young Adult SS Class I teach prayed for you and Cale this morning and I plan to visit the hospital to meet you in the next day or two. I thank God for your sincere faith in Him and I know He is sustaining you and will continue to do so.

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