Cale hasn't been very responsive today. They tried to sit him next to the sink again today, but he didn't want any part of it. He's constantly trying to pull everyone's yellow gowns off...I think he hates these as much as I do!
Early this afternoon, Amy found out that there are some complications with Adam and he's going to need surgery. They can't do it here, so they are sending him back to ICU at UNC. When she told me, as we hugged and cried, I felt immediately that I need to go with her. I'm not sure if I will be there just for tonight or a couple nights. I am struggling a bit, thinking about how I won't be here with Cale, but I'm so thankful that he is stable and healing. Cale is doing so good. I want to be a blessing for Amy, and there's no one else around that can sit next to her and know what it feels like. Will you pray for us? The next couple days are going to be challenging. I will keep everyone updated. If you're in the area and are willing to sit with Cale for short periods that would be a blessing! Visiting hours are 4pm-8pm.
I have a confession...I've been feeling guilty lately about when I'm having a hard time with all of this. I know God is doing big things, and I know Cale has come a long way but sometimes, even with all the good, I have days that are just hard and I miss Cale. I also know that it's okay for me to have hard days. It is, and it's normal. I think because I see where Adam is and I remember when Cale was there, having a hard time to me, has seemed like I'm not being grateful for how far Cale has come. Even though I know in my heart this isn't at all what it's like, it feels like it.
I've been reading a lot in Psalms and reading through Davids reign, in 1&2 Samuel. I love that even with all that God did in David's life, reading through the Psalms that he wrote, there were times of good and bad, ups and downs. David cried out to God for help during his time of fleeing from Saul and through many battles that he faced. While I cry out to God for help, I'm also trusting Him with EVERY part of this, kind of like David did :)
I read yesterday a psalm that I felt was right out of my journal that I wanted to share...
O Lord, you alone are my hope. I’ve trusted you, O LORD, from childhood. Yes, you have been with me from birth; from my mother’s womb you have cared for me. No wonder I am always praising you! My life is an example to many, because you have been my strength and protection. That is why I can never stop praising you; I declare your glory all day long. Psalm 71:5-8
Thank you for being on this journey with me, the good days and the bad days. Thank you for reading my roller coaster thoughts and even more, thank you for praying for us.
If you haven't yet and would like to be apart of the prayer chain, email firstname.lastname@example.org Make sure to include your name and location! Thank you!