To start off, I forgot to tell a funny story from yesterday! Before Cale and I were even dating, he would always follow Rachel and I around and poke us...continually. That's just one of the many things we all love about him :) Well, after therapy was done for the morning, the three of us headed to the coffee shop before going outside. I'm not sure how the whole thing started, if it was Rachel first, or Cale, but some how the two of them ended up in a poking war. Not only was this great because it brought back some good memories for her and I, but also because Cale looked like he was having fun; it really looked like he was trying to smile!
This ended up being a very special and much needed Saturday. First thing this morning I went and laid with Cale for about 45 minutes and then Rachel and I hopped in the car and drove to the beach! I've been thinking about doing this for awhile now, but I've just been waiting for the right time. Because Cale had such a great week, I felt peace about taking the day and getting refreshed. I even asked Cale yesterday afternoon if it was ok for me to go, and he nodded yes :)
On the way, I decided to take a detour...my brother led us to the spot where the accident happened. I wanted to see it, even though I knew it was going to be hard. As we were getting closer, I could feel my stomach start to do flip flops. I was reminded of some of mine and Cale's conversations from that day, and different things we had been pointing out to eachother. The day of the accident really had been a perfect day together and I'm so thankful for that. My heart started to pound as my brother hit his breaks and pulled over on the side of the road. The area looked so different then I have been picturing. It was a weird feeling to see the driveway the boy had pulled out of, see the Toyota tracks, and see the tree we hit. I still don't remember any of it, but now I know this is a blessing. Seeing the spot made my heart so sad for Cale. He's had to go through so much.
Along with the sadness and pain that came along with this detour, I had a surprise blessing that followed. I was able to meet and hug the man that had stayed and talked with me after the wreck. He's the one that kept me awake and calm, while we waited for help to get us out of the car. I don't remember him from that day, but I couldn't stop thanking the Lord when I saw him today. What a blessing he was! It was such a God thing that we even saw him because Rachel and I were actually going the wrong way down the road! After saying good bye to my brother, Amelia (my gps) was telling us to turn the other way but we thought we were supposed to go the way my brother had gone. When Juan first pulled over, we both thought he was going to tell us we were already getting lost; instead he had spotted Chris. God is so good!
The day at the beach was so wonderful! When we first started the trip, Rachel and I prayed that we would have fun, and that at the end of the day, we would leave closer to God than before we came. I honestly can say that we both are. He amazes me. For in what started out as a last minute fun trip, He turned it into so much more than that. Even as I'm typing this, I'm singing "What do I know of Holy?" by Addison Road. What do we know of Him? Over and over today I kept thinking about how amazing His love is for me, for Cale, for us. I am guilty of constantly making God smaller then He is. As we swam today, looking out at the Atlantic, I was reminded that the God who created the ocean and all that lives in it is the same God that I love and serve, and am able to surrender every fear, doubt, tear, and my future to. He created me and desires me. He's for real.
When I got to the hospital tonight, Cale was very alert. He waved at me as soon as I walked in! I talked with him about the day and about how much I missed him. Since he seemed so aware and engaged in the conversation, I took the opportunity to ask if he knew we had been in a car accident. He didn't respond so I kept talking. I told him about how he is in a hospital and is getting better every day, that I am so proud of him and that I'm here with him and not going anywhere. He started tapping and I knew he was trying to communicate with me. He was looking right at me and kept tapping the same thing. When I kept saying I didn't understand, he closed his eyes and looked away. I told him I was sorry and that I was really trying. I know he understood what I was saying, because after I said that, he reached over and gave me a hug.
Cale will one day be at the beach with me again. I know it!