Saturday, October 9, 2010

Arms That Hold The Universe

I was looking at pictures with Cale tonight. Partly I was trying to see how much he remembers and also trying to remind him of our past together and all of the people that have been a part of our lives. Last October, Cale came home from Afghanistan for 2 weeks. I remember it felt like the most amazing thing to have him back! I had missed him so much all year and when he had to go back, it was so horrible. I really wasn't sure how I was going to make it another 2 months. Tonight, I feel so tired of missing him. All last year and then again all this year...last year at least I knew he was going to come back, I knew we were going to continue on and start our family. This time, me missing him-it's never going to end. I know that one day, Cale and I will be at a point that things are some what "normal" or at least it will be our new normal, and we will eventually start our family and move on, but the reality is-he will never be the same. I miss him so much.

I don't want to make it sound like I'm not loving how far Cale has come and learning our new life, but the man that he was before, will always be missed. I'm also not thinking that the man Cale is now isn't going to be great. I know he is. He's still different. My heart feels heavy tonight.

I'm finding lots of comfort in the words of this song:

Arms That Hold The Universe-Fee
I know it seems
Like this could be
The darkest day you've known
But believe you me
The God of strength
Will never let you go
He will overcome, I know

And the arms that hold the universe
Are holding you tonight
You can rest inside
It's gonna be alright
And the voice that calmed the raging sea
Is calling you His child
So be still and know He's in control
He will never let you go

Through many dangers, toils and snares
You have already come
His grace has brought you safe this far
(And) His grace will lead you home

And the arms that hold the universe
Are holding you tonight
You can rest inside
It's gonna be alright
And the voice that calmed the raging sea
Is calling you His child
So be still and know He's in control
He will never let you go

You can hope, you can rise, you can stand
He has still got the whole world in His hands
You can hope, you can rise, you can stand
He's still got the whole world, the whole world in His hands

And the arms that hold the universe
Are holding you tonight
You can rest inside
It's gonna be alright
And the voice that calmed the raging sea
Is calling you His child
So be still and know He's in control
He will never let you go

He will never let you go

(He's) Still got the whole world in His hands
in His hands, yeah
Still got the whole world in His hands

The big fun of the day was a game of balloon-volleyball/tennis/soccer! Cale, Billie, and Ben had a great time playing :) It was fun to watch each of them try to hit the balloon! Cale would ask before serving "ready?" it was so great!

Here's some of the fun!



7 comments:

  1. Hi Kathleen! Loved this song! Let it continue to give you hope, comfort & encouragement! While thinking of you & Cale the other day, I heard this song...and thought of you. Let this also bring you encouragement.
    BTW...love the pics of Cale with BOTH of his beautiful eyes opened!
    May you continue to rest in His love.....Luv & prayers.. Judy Jay
    _________________________________________

    IN MY LOVE Lyrics
    Phil Wickham

    I have looked you in the eyes
    I have seen the tears you cried
    I have heard you question why you are here

    There is a reason, there’s a plan
    There is a God Who understands
    He’s got your life inside His hands
    Have no fear
    Cuz He says

    In all your hurt and in all your pain
    I’ll never leave, I won’t forsake
    You’re my child and I’m your God
    Come and rest in my love

    I know this road is deep
    And I know you’re tired and weak
    But the God of perfect peace is right here

    He is the shelter from the storm
    He is the rock forth and secure
    He is hope forever more
    Have no fear
    Cuz He says

    In all your hurt and in all your pain
    I’ll never leave, I won’t forsake
    You’re my child and I’m your God
    Come and rest in my love
    When everything seems out of control
    I’m holding on, I won’t let go
    You’re my child and I’m your God
    Come and rest in my love

    There is hope tonight
    There is everlasting life
    Dry away your tears
    Coz tomorrow is on the rise
    Love will never fail
    He will never fail
    He says

    In all your hurt and in all your pain
    I’ll never leave, I won’t forsake
    You’re my child and I’m your God
    Come and rest in my love
    When everything seems out of control
    I’m holding on, I won’t let go
    You’re my child and I’m your God
    Come and rest in my love
    In my love
    In my love

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  2. Oh, my dear Kathleen, my heart cries for you. Fahter has used you and Cale to remind to be thankful for my husband and for the relationship I have. Night before last, I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. :( Yet, my thought was, I am glad I could wake up. You and Cale are an inspiration to me. Father sees the end from the beginning. He already sees the end to all you and your love are going through. I will trust Him with you for His strength, His peace that passes ALL understanding and His abiding JOY. Your friend, Marion Hansen Say, are you the one going to the zoo with Ben and Katie Rye? Enjoy those zebra's for me!! :) :) :)

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  3. I am sad with you for what you are missing, and joyful with you for every step forward you and Cale take. Your story has been an encouragement to me, but it is good to know you are human too. It is OK to grieve the loss of what Cale was like before the accident, that will be part of moving forward into the 'new normal'. Thank you for sharing that part of you, and know that I am praying for you! ~ Heather

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  4. My sweet darling,
    My heart grieves for your pain. I hope it helps you to know that others heart are hurting for you and that we are ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS in prayer for you. There is nothing wrong with grieving for what was lost. You have a right to grieve and to be angry and to cry. Others have done that for you too but you live it every day. We also rejoice in Cale's progress and the "new man" he is becoming and pray that you fall in love with this Cale. You are an awesome woman Kathleen Darling. We love you so.
    Jean and Charlie

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  5. I am inspired by the love I see in your pictures and hear in your words. I only know your story through Rachel but I do know your God. You are both truly inspiring! I see His love in your eyes and it makes me smile. God bless you both. Lori

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  6. My prayers are with you, and you guys are on our hearts. Our Sunday School class always asks for updates of Cale. Love you girl.

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  7. I want to be a better wife to my husband because of your story. I want to be more faithful to pray for you as you walk this long, bumpy road. I will keep reminding you that you are not alone. Your Father in Heaven is proud of you and will keep holding you and guiding you. He is faithful. So are you. Thanks for the example...Lisa Criscitello

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