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Tuesday, October 26, 2010

living with my eyes closed.

The hardest part of writing this blog for me, is figuring out where to start after each day. I picture my brain packed full of thousands of words to describe the day, full of thoughts, images, phrases, reminders, jibber jabber, and lots of randoms that have nothing to do with today.

Where do I start?

My week is very thrown off already. Most of today it felt like Monday, and for some reason the other part of it felt like Thursday. I think only once did it really click that it was Tuesday and that's when one of the other patients asked if I was going to Bingo tonight. "Bingo is tomorrow! It's only Tuesday."

Dr. Howe asked Cale this morning, "What would make you being here better?" Cale said "Playing games." "What kind of games?" "Sports!" Well, today there was a fitness bazaar near the main entrance to the hospital, so for RT, we went to check it out. It was so nice and sunny so it felt really good to get outside.

Cale played a little basketball...

and some football :)

PT and OT were together today and they worked on lots of walking! Cale was so tired by the end of it. He did really great! They had him walk outside with out the walker, on grass, sand, and up and down a ramp. Even after all the walking, he was still up for walking around the unit!

I decided today that it would be so much easier to live with my eyes closed to reality. If I could just live in my own little world, and be set that Cale is going to make 100% full recovery and that things will go back to normal, I wouldn't have to think about the house that we're going to buy and what things will need to be adjusted for Cale. I wouldn't have to think about how this situation changes things for us having babies and what that "new" life will look like. I wouldn't have to think about finances and figure out how I can make sure I can take Cale home with me. I wouldn't have to think about the challenges that we may face if he doesn't heal to a functioning level. Of course I'm praying for a full recovery and that in time Cale will have his life back, but I have to have my eyes open to what we are facing and the realities of that-I have to be prepared for the physical, emotional, and mental scars this accident has left on us.

The amazing thing about it is, that I do have to think about those things and begin making the plans, but as long as my eyes have to be open, I can have them looking at Christ. I don't have to take it all by myself, and that, is pretty stinkin' amazing!

Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. Deuteronomy 6:5

At some point in the last couple years, I have written in my Bible next to this verse,

"God must be our everything because if He's only something then it's only a matter of time before our flesh allows something else to take His place. He must be our everything.- David Hayner

Lord, I pray that You would be my everything!

Here are the pictures with Basil from the other day that I had mentioned! It was fun :) Thank you Kristen for taking them! :)

Isn't he huge?! Basil that is ;)


  1. He WILL make a full recovery! In my opinion walking with your eyes shut is called faith, so in that case, go ahead! Praying for u both!

  2. Kathy Beckett10/27/10, 7:01 AM

    I'm glad you were able to visit with friends and family from home! I pray your visit was useful for the plans you will be making. Just a couple of thoughts from our SS lesson last week: Eph. 3:20 "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us" We discussed how David's great desire was to build the temple for the Lord. Of course, that request was denied...but in Ps. 132:17-18 God tells David that the Messiah would come through his descendants. Sometimes God says 'No' to one request and then does immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine! Keep asking and trust Him to answer rightly!! Love you.

  3. Kathleen Wink one eye open one eye shut the best of both worlds - :) He is your resting place, no matter what you SEE He is the place that you can curl up and put it all in His hands. Eyes shut eyes open ..... He is always there and He sees it in a way that we can't - Which is why HE gets the Glory and we get the goods.... Love Kathy Beckett's comment above - ABSOLUTLY RIGHT ON !!!!! LOVE and Blessings to you and Caleb we continue to pray for his complete healing, also for Amy and Adam (any updates on them ????) Reenie

  4. So nice seeing your posts with Cale, Hes seems to be doing wonderful!Soon you'll both look back & remember this time, it seems like yesterday, You'll both be glad for this time.Michele


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