What a difference today was in the mind of Kathleen! After actually sleeping last night, and getting to shower this morning, I felt so much better! There are just some things this girl needs... ;)
I walked to the hospital this morning with a brand new attitude. While I tried to fall asleep last night, I began to pray and confront my heart where it was. This isn't always the easiest thing to do, but it's a needed task. I thought Cale's day was going to start off great like mine, but that wasn't the case...at all!
We did get a very short PT session in, but shortly after I had taken a picture, Cale decided he was done. He stopped PT early, didn't do OT, ST, or RT. He was done for the day and there was no pushing him!
I had a couple more meetings today. Things are up in the air about when we're leaving, but from the sounds of it, it's going to be really soon. Tomorrow we're hopefully moving into the apartment room here. I've been asked to put our new address up, but knew it was going to be changing soon. As soon as we are settled I'll get it posted! :) Being in the apartment is going to help us work out any problems that may come up. It's not home all by ourselves, but I think it's going to be a great way to prepare for that...and give time for something to be available for us to move into! It's all happening faster than I had planned, and even though I was joking about escaping and wanting to leave here...I was only joking!
I wanted to clear something up in case I gave the wrong impression. Please don't think the staff here have been a problem. I know I was saying how hard things are and it's an adjustment, but it's not because of anything the staff is lacking! In fact, they've all been great! They even had a special meeting for Cale to talk about things he likes and what we can do to help his stay here be a little more enjoyable. I think the apartment is going to help!
This afternoon, Dr. Loomis had left for the day. She went home and picked up her dog and brought him back for Cale! We went to the Fisher House lawn and Cale played ball with Jake and Dr. Loomis spent time talking with us and getting to know us. It was so special! It meant so much to me that she took the time to do that for Cale. He had such a rough day, and that little bit of time brightened up so much! It was freezing cold (where did CA weather go?!), but Cale wanted to stay out and play.
Actually, Cale had time to love on dogs twice today! Another therapy dog came around during a really bad moment for Cale, and he instantly smiled so big! :) He let the dog jump on his bed and he pet her for so long! We're looking into more ideas of things that Cale can do with animals, possibly in the community here.
I feel like there's a ton to write about, but my brain is quickly shutting off. We did go on our first outing tonight to the VFW for free burgers! It was fun to hear some stories of vets that have seen so much! The guy sitting next to Cale was 98! Always good to get out!
I accidentally left Amelia (GPS) in the rental truck in Palo Alto, so I haven't wanted to leave the hospital! I hear this isn't such a great part of town, and I always get lost...I have to get a couple things done, so we'll see how I do!
Please pray that Cale will continue to become more aware. I wish that he could understand what happened, because I know if he did, he would fight more. He's always been a very determined guy and always has to have the best score. Right now, he doesn't get it. He doesn't understand reasoning and he just feels trapped. I know he's understanding a lot, but at the same time, he doesn't and this gets to be hard. I know his brain needs time to heal and as it does, things will come together. I also know that it's going to be hard once he does realize what's happened, if that time comes, but I feel like it would help so much. Praying for endurance!
Tonight when we prayed together, Cale chose to pray for a house. He first started like this, "Dear God, I pray for a house. A good house for me and Kathleen. For us to be together." After a little bit more he finished with, "and I pray for all of our pets that are in the house with us. The dogs and cats and fish. I love them."
It was so sweet.
His mind and way of thinking is still like a little kid in so many ways. He was even talking tonight about going home and our parents taking care of us. We had a little discussion about this...he pictures home as if he was little again and rather than being a man with a wife, he's thinking he's in school. It was a pretty weird conversation; very interesting at the same time.
Pray for me.
With such a great day and so much that happened, tonight when talking to him and a situation this afternoon, it just makes my heart long for the man in him again. I know I've talked about that before. I don't want to be in a place that I'm more like his mom then his wife. It's felt like a mix of roles at times and I've really tried to separate the two and just be his wife, but with our discussion tonight, it felt so, hmm...it just felt like, well, I can't be a wife to a little boy. My heart just hurt for him and for us.
Then I prayed.
Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.-Philippians 4:6-7
I read this version of this verse, and it seemed so perfect for the last week. I love so much that I can tell God all of my concerns. I never have to hold anything back, and He never changes His opinion of me. He loves me. I love how the version says, "a sense of God's wholeness" Oooh! I just love that! God's doesn't want us to only feel a piece of Him, or to know only part of who He is. He wants us to experience His wholeness! As my day continued on, I began to see everything unfold and take shape of something beautiful and exciting. It was God's hand causing everything to come together for good and it settled me down! It is amazingly wonderful when Christ takes the place of worry that so easily tries to find a bed in our life. There is no room for it! Worry and fear have no ability to take root, when the Father is at the center of our hearts. He is peace. He is love and joy!
Here we are leaving the hospital in Palo Alto! Do you see Cale walking out?! A-Maz-Ing!
Here was a sweet prayer time at the church we visited on Sunday. It was such a blessing!