This may possibly end up being one of the most random posts ever...but stick with me for the full update!
We'll start with some pictures :)
Cale loves playing Angry Birds on the iPad. I think he's actually starting to not love it as much recently, but he sure did smile when he found this pillow at good ol' Costco!
Our neighbor had a sweeeeet baby a couple months ago. I must say that getting to hold her was the greatest moment of that day! It's been a couple weeks...past due for another visit!
We had a visit with Cale's brother Ty and his family. The boys entertained themselves with cards...
camping for a night...
...and manly projects.
I love these two little boys...no joke.
...and my adorable nephew.
The girls did crafty things.
And now we miss them way too much. Too much. They are wonderful, just too wonderful. We love you Ty, Nikki, and boys! Can't wait for our next visit!!!!
This picture cracks me up because neither of us had said to make a silly face. We first both had smiles but before I hit the button we went crazy!
I just really love him...a little...or maybe a whole lot! ;)
See those headphones? Yeah...they're not plugged into anything. Cale just wanted to sport a new fasion statement.
I spent an afternoon running errands with Mama. I always love her company and treasure the days we get to do girly things together.
Saturday night was the prayer time over the land. Everyone was invited to grab cookies afterwards and have a chance to see what our future home will look like.
I feel like it was another moment in this journey that I felt so overwhelmed with thankfulness. I know many were out of town or sick or had other plans and I know it didn't help that we scheduled it so suddenly, but for everyone that did show up...thank you so very much. As Saturday progressed, I continually received calls, texts, emails, and messages letting me know you all were praying from all over the world! Wowzers! Also, thank you Sharon for thinking to bring your camera and capture this milestone in this very long walk we've been on! Love ya friend!
Since we've been home, Cale hasn't enjoyed going to church. It's been something I've forced because of how important it is in our lives and how much I love listening to him worship. I also just thought that as long as we were going, even though its hard for him because he can't process quick enough, his Spirit was being fed. But...it's gotten worse and to the point that I can't get him out of the house on a Sunday morning. It just won't happen. So, I be worshipping at home. Our church in NY has church live online so I worshiped with music with them and then listened to one of our Pastor's sermons from a couple months ago.We're going to be creative and probably have to switch our plans a lot, but whatever works!
Sunday evening we went to a BBQ with family. They had a bounce house and at first I didn't think there was any way for Cale to get in, but he asked and I said why not. He had a BLAST!
I had to make this picture large so you can easily see his GREAT BIG SMILE!!! It was awesome! He would fall over and it was totally fine because it was all soft and bouncy. We have bad days often and lots of angry spouts. We know frustration. We experience disappointment. When these smiles come...the ones that when you see it, it causes you to smile...yeah, those, they're fuel for the soul.
On Monday Mama stayed with Cale and I took a mini trip to Silverwood with family! So much fun. I haven't gone in way too long. Ride after ride. Roller coaster after roller coaster. Woke up Yesterday morning ready to go again!
Cale had therapy today. Folks, it is huge that he's still getting therapy. We're down to once a week because he can't tolerate much more at this point, but he's still getting it. So thankful.
When we had gone up to visit Ty and Nikki, we had appointments at the Seattle VA. One of them was a Neurology appointment. We have started the process of switching Cale's meds. It's a slow transition but we're praying for big changes. The one we're switching him to is for seizures and a mood stabilizer. It would be totally awesome to get him off all meds...but we're not quite there. We are hoping for good things with this switch though!
One of the nights while in our hotel room, Cale and I had the best time with each other. We played baseball with his socks, laughed uncontrollably (that was me!), watched a show about sharks, and cuddled. While I layed there, I grabbed my phone and posted to Facebook...
Laying next to my husband thinking about how blessed we are...so much has been taken but so much more has been given. Choosing to cherish each moment...
Part of the reason I haven't made the time to post even though we've had lots to post about and I have had the time is because I've been going through a bit of a hard time. I don't want it to be that I'm posting my struggles every time I post, but the thing is I've always been so honest when I post and this is the season I'm in. It's a challenge.
As hard as some days can be and as many tears as I may cry...I never stop loving my husband. There's never been a moment that I have wanted to just be done with him.
But I do get frustrated. I do feel discouraged. I do feel weak. I do ache.
And then I go to the Lord.
He reminds me (and not always in a sweet gentle way) that we have been given much.
John Piper says, "Staying married is not mainly about staying in love. It's about covenant keeping."
We far too often get caught up in marriage being about what our needs are and how wonderful of a picture we can make it, but really, marriage is the picture of Christs glory. We are so blinded that we may go our entire life and never get a glimps.
And because we have no clue, we are then so willing to break a covenant with the Lord. Out of selfishness, we forget what He has binded together.
I do love Cale. I do love our love story. I did marry my prince. I love me a good fairytale.
But, I don't want to walk through this life and totally miss the mark.
I want to cherish each moment the Lord has given us as husband and wife in this life, but I also want to get to a point that my eyes are so focused on the King and my heart is so connected with Him that I see his glory. I see His vision of marriage.
When I get off track and focused on the "pretty" painted marriage is when my journey starts to look so dark and ugly. It's when I start to get in my pity party making known what I feel that I deserve.
When all we all really deserve is death. A brutal lonely death.
Thank you Jesus for Your sacrifice.
We've been planning a trip back east again (probably since we came home from the last trip!) for awhile now and finally our tickets are purchased! Woohoo! We'll fly to NY and then down to NC and then back home. Can't wait!!! It's not for a few more months, but we're super excited!
One of my brothers is here for a visit. It's pretty cool.
I have a phone interview with an oraganization to get a service dog tomorrow morning. The thought to get rid of Basil makes me really sad.
Cale has started saying things are "awkward" or "odd" and the times that he says it makes me laugh because sometimes it just really doesn't fit.
We're off to a neuropsych appointment!
Wasn't too random right?