Saturday, April 24, 2010

Unexpected Tears

Last night while I was with Nikki and the boys, I was telling Nikki a story about one of Cale's shirts and all of a sudden I realized, I have no idea what shirt he was wearing the day of the accident! I knew he was wearing his new hoodie that he had just bought, but what shirt underneath? Tears came to my eyes and I felt so desperate to know, I had to find out. I even called my brother to make him check in the bag that I asked him not to throw out, Cale's clothes, cut, and bloody, but I had to know. The shirt wasn't even in there. It must have been forgotten at the hospital. It was so unexpected and I felt silly that it bothered me that way. It was so unsettling not to know. Poor Nikki had to deal with my sudden emotions!

Cale had a good day. He sat in his chair for 3 hours today. I think that's the longest he's been able to tolerate it. This evening he turned himself on his side, tucked his arm under his head, curled up, and fell asleep. This is the first time I've seen him really try to get comfortable and sleep like he used to. Something small but so encouraging to me. He also wouldn't let go of my hand. I liked that :)

This is going to be a busy week and for the next few weeks, I'm going to be having to make some decisions that are going to be kind of hard. Please pray for wisdom. I'm seeking so much what the Lord will have me do, but I have to be willing to have open ears to hear, and right now I'm not sure I want to hear too much.

...and just to clarify :) when I said the other night that I went "for drinks" with a friend, I had a latte, dark chocolate and hazelnut in fact, and she had a smoothie. :)

6 comments:

  1. I don't think anyone would blame you if you had a "drink" considering all you have been through and you don't have to clarify for us. We are just wishing you and Cale the best.

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  2. Leena bean,
    i know you will follow the directions that God has and will continue to put in front of you. trust in your heart, and in his wisdom for the answer you shall be seeking soon. Love you

    Juan

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  3. Bad "Drinks" are overrated, they make things worst

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  4. The Bensons4/25/10, 3:50 PM

    Kathleen,
    I wanted to pray on this one before I said anything because I really wanted to say the right thing because I know the decision you have before you. As I was sitting in prayer this morning and in the Word I read this and immediately thought of you....
    "But you are a shield around me O Lord;
    you bestow glory on me and lift up my head.
    To the Lord I cry aloud,
    and He answers me from His Holy hill.
    I lie down and sleep:
    I wake again,because the Lord sustains me.
    I will not fear the tens of thousands
    drawn up against me on every side.
    Arise, O Lord!
    Deliver me O My God.
    Psalm 3: 3-6

    He will give you comfort, rest, wisdom strength, and peace. Look to the Holy Hill for all you meed my Darling Darling girl. We love you so much.
    Jean and Charlie

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  5. Hey girl, you are standing in the everlasting arms of your beloved. I can tell you KNOW that. He is good. I love the scripture Jean just wrote you, such a strong picture of His love for you. God bless you girl. Julie

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  6. Kathleen,
    I wanted to let you know that many people at Memorial Baptist asked about you and Cale this morning. They all wanted me to tell you that they continue to pray for you. I asked my Sunday School class to keep you in their prayers this week as you continue to face the tough decisions that you are being asked to make. As I have said so many times, God has a plan. Sit back and let him walk you down the path that he already has planned for you. Lean on him when you need to and allow him to wrap his loving arms around you. You are not alone in this. Love you!
    Mandy Anderson

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