What a day...the day actually started off really great. Pastor Kirk (from our church in NY) was in the area and made the time, even though he was so busy, to visit with Cale and I. It was about 8:15 this morning, Cale was still sleeping when we got to his room, even with trying to wake him up, he wouldn't budge. I had time to read my bible and make a phone call before Cale finally woke up.
Lately, Cale has been helping to dress himself. When it's time to put his pants on, he will bend his knees and lift his hips. Once Cale did decide to wake up, I was helping the CNA to get him dressed, I asked him to lift his hips, and instead, Cale put his legs completely straight and pushed his bottom into the bed! What?! Haha! He knew what he was supposed to do and did the opposite! I was laughing so hard! That was just the beginning of today. There ended up being only 1/2 of a speech session and a few "interesting messes" to finish the day with. He makes his statement! :)
When PT and OT came in and attempted a session, I sat in my little corner because he was so worked up, I didn't want to be in the way. They ended up leaving after a couple minutes to see if he would calm down, I just sat there, silent, watching him. My heart was aching for him. No one knows what he's feeling or thinking, we have no idea if he will remember all of this one day, or if he will ever get to the point of understanding any of this, all I know is that in those moments, I'm so sad to watch him go through all of this. It's not easy watching him get so worked up, and seem so confused. All I can do is pray that God would be everything for him that I can't be and then so much more. While I was sitting there (not moving or making any sound!), after a couple minutes, Cale turned all the way around and looked at me, then turned back around...he knew I was there! It was so crazy! I was startled at first! I wasn't expecting that! Interesting...
I was reading in Proverbs 5 today. The first part of verse 18 says "Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you." That's what I'm praying I will be for Cale. As he goes through this recovery process, I want to be a fountain of blessing for him :)
You are definitely a fountain of blessing for him. With everything so different and confusing, you are a solid presence that will always be comforting to Caleb. AND you are a blessing to many other people too, through your testimony. I believe that God is going to glorify his name through Caleb, but I'm telling you that God is ALREADY glorifying his name through you, Kathleen. I am amazed at the peace and grace that are so obvious in your words and attitude. We so enjoyed spending time with you the other night. Hope to see you soon.
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