Whew! It was a non-stop kind of day, we were going here and there, and emotions were flying everywhere! It's over now, and I can wrap up in a cozy blanket and relax :)
At 8am I walked into Cale's room and he was out...very loud snoring. Poor guy is still sick :( He can't breathe through his nose at all and he keeps coughing. I know his head must feel like it weighs 100lbs. He pressed on though. About 9am he started to wake up a little, so I helped him get his teeth brushed and than we shaved his face. I had to get him started, but then he took over and did the rest. OT came in at 10am and helped Cale have his first shower! That's a pretty big deal when it's been since February! I know it must have felt so good!
From 10-11am Cale was in OT and 11-12, RT (recreational therapy) was in with him. At this point Cale was already exhausted and looked miserable. She didn't ask him to do too much but still, it's a lot of talking and he seemed to be focused on the bed...
At 12pm he finally was able to lay down and try to rest. I think he ended up sleeping for about 30 minutes until it was time for PT from 1pm-2pm. Today, since Cale wasn't feeling that great, Mitch (another PT guy) stretched him really good and then had Cale walk from the gym to his room and then back to the gym. He's really pushing himself, because again, he looked so miserable-but he still did it.
At 2pm it was time for Speech until 3pm. Patricia wanted to do a swallowing evaluation, but Cale just couldn't close his lips to swallow anything. He did do a couple swallows at first that were right away and not delayed at all. That was exciting to see since usually when he does swallow, it's very delayed. First she tried ice chips and than apple sauce. I think we'll have to try those again on another day. She also asked questions but Cale just couldn't focus.
He wasn't going to get a chance to rest yet...at 3pm he had an ENT (Ear, Nose, and Throat) appointment. We ended up waiting in the waiting room until 4 because they were so backed up. Cale did pretty well, but started to get restless towards the end. I'm glad they called his name when they did...the appointment ended up being an hour of talking with the doctor, him trying to use a scope for Cale's nose, and more talking. For some that may not remember, we found out right after the accident that Cale has some kind of tumor in his nose. This explained why he's had lots of nose bleeds and why it always seems like his nose is stuffy. Well, I was able to look over the ct scans with the doctor, and it's not good. The size of the mass, is so large that it's spreading all the way up to behind his left eye. Another doctor came to look at everything and by the end of the appointment they made it very clear that it's not a simple fix, this is very complicated, since it's so large now. The next step is getting a MRI done within the next week and then it'll go to the Tumor Board at Stanford to be discussed. After that, they'll have a meeting with me to decide what needs to be done. The whole appointment Cale looked so tired and ready to be done with everything. I was trying to comfort him as much as I could, letting him know I was so proud of him.
At 5pm I was saying good bye to the doctors and heading back to Cale's room. I was so sure as soon as I got him back in bed that he was going to be out. After getting him comfortable, I headed home to get dinner, thinking that would give him time to fall asleep. Well, when I got back to the hospital, he was wide awake and the nurse said he didn't close his eyes once! She called him the energizer bunny :) I think that fits him! We did get to spend the next hour and a half cuddling and by the time I was leaving his eyes were finally closing.
I'm really missing him today. I had a meeting with one of the staff to go over things that I'm expecting to see out of this program and what the future might look like. It's hard to hear that the man I married and want back so desperately, isn't going to be the same as the man that's here post accident. She was very encouraging, but it's a fact that aside from the Lord working that miracle out, I'm having to face. I've heard it a lot, and I've heard a lot of other things too, and I know that God is in control. I'm just going to trust Him. With ALL of it. He is God, He created Cale, He's given me amazing peace, and I'm choosing to trust Him. I still really miss Cale though.
But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, "You are my God." Psalm 31:14