Thursday, August 26, 2010

In an Instant.

Everything seemed perfect. He was home. Finally, we were going to be able to start our new life together. I had even titled a Facebook album, "A new life :)"...I was ready to have my husband home and not have to worry about the next deployment.

Our plans were in motion, February 8th we left Fort Drum and were headed for our across the country trip. We had planned to see the US and all that it had to offer. The second day on our trip we got a call that the blood test to see if I was pregnant was negative. We were disappointed at first, but since we were waiting to see what the next job was going to be like, we were ready to live on cereal and Ramen noodles if we needed...it didn't matter as long as we were together :)

February 10th, we were visiting friends in VA and received a call that our train to WA was going to be delayed. Before getting on the train we were going to visit with my brother in NC. Since we were not leaving for a couple days because of weather, Cale was wanting to stay in VA for another night, and I was just wanting to get to my brother's house. We ended up leaving and getting through the snow just fine. As we crossed the boarder into NC it was beautiful! We stopped to get gas and some yummy Krispy Kreme donuts to share. Life was good...and I knew it was only going to get better. The car was full of light and exciting conversation, we talked about anything and everything.

Beulaville is a small town near Jacksonville. My brother was meeting us there and then we followed him to his house. I was sending text messages letting Mama and friends know that we made it! Finally! My brother turned right on his road, and we followed behind, "Haw Branch Road" we shouted! Isn't this what perfect is like? It didn't matter that Cale no longer had a job, it didn't matter that we had been traveling and our train was delayed, which caused plans to already change...we were together, laughing, singing, and smiling.

In an instant it all changed.

There was no rewind button to push, nothing to make everything disappear. I was in an ambulance and Cale was no where to be seen. "Where is my husband?", "What happened?", "Is Cale ok?", so many questions running through my head. How do I make it go away?

Everything changed in our lives, and there was no choice to be made. It was made for us...Cale has made lots of progress and God is working so much. I'm blessed to see the miracle and be a part of it. I know that God is not finished, He's in control, and that I need to trust Him. I also know that I miss Cale and I together having fun, where time, even though short was-perfect.

I've always been very honest with letting everyone know how I'm really doing. You see when I have good days and when I have bad days. You've walked this journey with me, prayed for us, and continued to be a HUGE blessing. I am trusting God, and He has given me amazing peace from the beginning, but there is deep layers right to my core. I made this video today, hoping to show you right into my heart.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3p08N3Muk8

9 comments:

  1. Kathleen you made me cry again. I haven't posted anything yet but your video was so encouraging to me. I wanted to tell you that you have a amazing attitude and that no matter what happens you keep smiling through it and I think Caleb is incredibly lucky to have a amazing wife like you! I also wanted to let you know that Stephen and I have been praying for you and Caleb and that I read your blog every morning and pray. I have to tell you that you have been a huge encouragement to me whether you are trying to or not. I hope this encourages you as well and that you are able to sleep tonight. With many prayers, Marcia Olson

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  2. The Bensons8/26/10, 7:10 PM

    Tears again Kathleen. Just when I think I have no more left to cry. You are so awesome . I just don't know what else to say except hang in there and we love you and so many people that you don't even know are praying for you. Every time I meet someone new I tell them all about you and your sweet man and ask them to pray for both of you. I pray every day for new miracles and strength and joy for you both.
    We love you so much and KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that someday Cale will be restored.
    Jean and Charlie

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  3. Kathleen,
    You don't know me but I am Edwards' Mom. I read your blog everyday and pray for you and Cale. I feel so blessed to be able to be inspired by you and Cale. I also KNOW without a shadow of a doubt you and Cale will be blessed.. Where there is so much love between two people, my faith tells me to expect nothing less. Praying for comfort, rest and the strength you need as you continue to stand by, love and encourage Cale in his healing. "There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will NOT be cut off."Proverbs 23:18

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  4. Kathleen,

    You don't know me but I have been praying for you and Cale ever since Amy passed along your story. I read your blog daily and pray for the two of you as well as the medical staff. You are an incredible woman and I appreciate you sharing your ups and downs so I know what to pray for. Today's prayer is for God to comfort you and to give you the strength you need for today.

    Wanda

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  5. Tears keep flowing...thank you SO much for making the beautiful video...Watching your marriage over the past 6 months or so has strengthened ours...you and Cale are a constant encouragement and PROOF that our God reigns, rules, and still does miracles...Our prayers flow for you both...He'll have His way...Love, Elisabeth and Philip

    p.s. expect a package soon!

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  6. Kathleen , you don;t know me but i have been following your blog since a friend shared it with me .

    You and Cale are constantly in my prayers , your devotion and love for Cale shines out above all else.

    Keep strong , keep believing and keep hoping xx

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  7. I love you guys and am still praying and believing. Our God is bigger than all. The kids are always lifting you two up in their prayers.

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  8. Kathleen, your video is breathtaking. The song is so beautiful and seems to perfectly express your journey. I think about you two everyday and continue to pray for all things good for the both of you.

    One of your friends you've never met,
    Lisa Brennan

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  9. Dear Kathleen,
    Your video is beautiful! It shows your and Cales love and devotion to eachother! It is stronger than what is here and now, in the present.
    Again I am so amazed at your willingness to share this with us!
    Your heartache is understandbly apparent and if it helps at all, please know we do all still care and pray for both of you every day!
    Stay strong my friend!

    All my love,
    Lorri C

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