I love him. It's amazing that even through all of this I still get butterflies when I see him. I was gone all day yesterday (which was good, I know...but hard too!) so by the time I walked into the hospital this morning, I was going crazy! My reasons for not getting out of the hospital more and getting away, aren't because I don't trust the staff to care for him, or because I don't think he's going to be ok, but because I miss him. When I'm not with him, I'm thinking about him, wanting to be with him, and not wanting to miss anything new! Moments like this morning, make the times I'm away from him not so hard. He always greets me with a great big smile, and his arms waving "hi"! Hugs and kisses always come when I get close to him. I just really love him. He's pretty amazing :)
Me: Did you have a good day yesterday? Cale: shook his head no Me: Were you sad? Cale: Nodded yes Me: Why were you sad? Cale: he pointed at me and then pulled me in for a big hug.
I don't want to forget how desperate I was for these moments. Every one of them make my heart swim and I feel like I'm walking on clouds, and I just never want it to go away. I hear him say "I love you" and there had been a time (not so long ago!!) that my heart wanted to hear those words so bad! I am so blessed! I was reading in Proverbs this morning, 20:12 says "Ears to hear and eyes to see-both are gifts from the Lord." It's huge that Cale is able to hear AND see, on top of all the other precious gifts we're receiving through progress every day!
Cale did great in therapy's yesterday I was told. Since he's been eating ice cream a lot, I had gone to the store Thursday and bought him a yummy kind. When I read the notes from yesterday about his speech session, Patricia had written that he had hit a new record with how many bites he had taken! He loved the ice cream! It's a super great thing, because today I was cleared to give him ice cream with out the therapist! She said anything that is "pudding-like", I'm allowed to give him! We have now entered a whole new season in this journey...lots of ice cream dates! :)!
I have heard quite a bit that a lot of times when they start eating, they will start to become more vocal. That's what I'm praying for! Cale is already starting to say more with his breath! Again today he's doing a lot more on his own and trying really hard to make it louder. It's like an adrenaline rush, when I think about him starting to talk and hearing his voice. I so long to hear it!
I was talking today with Rachel about how Cale has joy. He's not just miserable and mopey, but he's joyful. How awesome that because of Christ, a husband and wife, going through a crazy hard journey like this, are BOTH able to have joy. God is good. I was praying this afternoon, and heard myself say that I was overwhelmed with joy. Such a God thing! It's not because everything is going so good and I have nothing to worry about. There is still a full plate in front of me, BUT God is so much more than anything this world has to offer. I may not fully understand all that God is while I'm here on earth, and that's okay. It just means that even when we're not happy about things here, and it's all kind of stinky, we can still live life joyfully-even when it's not Christmas ;)
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."