Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Just a pup.
Last night was Tuesday night Bingo. I wasn’t in the mood to go play, but Cale insisted. I’m so grateful for his push to go and his love for playing. We had a blast together! Here all the patients are well over our ages and our parents’ ages, but we always enjoy their company. Some of the men were telling stories of their war adventures and all the thrilling experiences they’ve lived. They were going around the room asking which wars the guys had been in and then the guy asked if there were any Iraq or Afghanistan guys in the room. Of course we were the only people in the room young enough that would have been a possibility. Cale’s arm shot up and with a huge smile he said, “Me! Afghanistan, two times. Afghanistan, yeah!” He was so excited to be able to join in on the conversation and to be a part of the group. After he shared, one of the men looked at Cale and said, “You’re just a pup!” I had to smile at the this and think about how young we are and how we still have a whole life in front of us. :)
With all the other games I play with Cale, I always have to help him to win. He loves playing, but when he loses too many times in a row, he doesn’t take it so well. A lot of games need strategy to win, and he doesn’t always have that ability. Bingo is the one game that I for sure can’t help him win, but he always does! There’s no way to cheat for him. His card is picked and they just call numbers. Last night he did so great! I always love those moments for him!
Yesterday evening, I was talking to Cale and with out thinking about it, I was rubbing his scar from his feeding tube. I asked if he remembered what that was from and he didn’t. When I started telling him about the tube, he wanted to know why it was there. He didn’t believe me that we were in a car accident. He kept saying, “I disagree.” Well, I have the videos that I had made, and lots of pictures to share. Once we started watching videos, he wanted to watch more and more. Even when I closed everything and shut the computer, he wanted them back on. He watched for so long! It was good for both of us to watch and be encouraged. Cale doesn’t retain the information, so I know we’ll continue to have those moments, but for that moment it was needed. He’s come so far.
After watching them and laying in bed last night, I wasn’t quite sure how I felt. I’m so grateful that he’s progressed so much, but at the same time, I was feeling so sad that it happened to him; to Cale. I still can’t get my head to wrap around all that he’s facing. I couldn’t fall asleep because I was so lost in my thoughts. I began to pray and ask the Lord, “why at this point am I losing my grip?” I felt as though I was hanging onto a tree branch and suddenly I was growing so tired. I could picture so clearly as though my fingers were one by one slipping. I was about to fall. Why after all this time? I think the last two days were two of the hardest in a long time. I couldn’t get myself to snap out of it. I was rejoicing in the healing that’s already taken place, but still mourning over the accident.
Even though Cale was next to me, I spoke out loud, “God, my fingers are slipping and I’m going to fall. It’s a long drop down.” In that moment, I so strongly could feel the Holy Spirit urging me to let go. Again I pictured my fingers hanging onto the branch and then, I let go. I didn’t go anywhere though! I was in the same place because even though I have been holding onto to branch and was getting tired. The Lord has been holding me, so when I let go, He was still holding me. I didn’t drop-and I’m not going to. It’s not my strength that gets me through everyday. It’s not by my ability and by my flesh. It’s so far above me that I can’t find the right words to describe other than-it’s God.
It was such a powerful moment. It didn’t happen in a very spiritual moment and there wasn’t any big thing taking place. It wasn’t even a new concept, because I’ve known this whole time that He’s holding me, carrying me. It was simply me opening my whole heart to the Lord. Just like any other person. He is so faithful to meet us right where we’re at; even in bed trying to fall asleep. Thank you Jesus.
Today has been a lot more upbeat as I’ve gone through the day carrying that image with me. I’m so thankful for it!
We started Cale on the Antidepressant this morning. I’ve been told it can take a couple weeks to start showing effects. I’m praying it happens sooner than later. I really think it’s the right time for it. Please continue to pray for this…
Here are a few new conversations with Cale.
K: “Wanna go on a walk with me?”
K: “No, I don’t need to go.
K: “Because, I just want to go to the coffee cart and I don’t need that. What I get there is basically, milk and sugar.”
C: “Let’s go! I want something.”
K: “What do you want?”
C: “Sugar, something with sugar!”
Haha! That is something that hasn’t changed…Cale’s love for sugar!
This morning I made both of us smoothies for breakfast. Cale started drinking his, but I was trying to get his meds sorted out. Suddenly, my whole glass of blueberry smoothie was all over the table! Oops…I ran to get towels to clean it up, and noticed Cale stopped drinking his and his head was down. I asked him why he wasn’t drinking and he said, “I want to save half for you.” Oh my goodness! First, that was super sweet of him to say, but how cool that he felt sad for what happened and thought to give some of his! We were able to end the clean up with laughter over what a silly wife he has! ;) This was another thing talked about with Donna that hadn’t happened yet, and he did it today! Now, he’s still not consistent with some of the new things, but the fact that they’re starting to happen is so huge!
Earlier this afternoon, we were playing cards. I asked Cale if we could pause the game real quick because I needed to go to the bathroom. Cale looks at me so seriously and said, “The toilet is ready for you.” Haha! What?! He’s so funny! Um…thank you sweetie for letting me know…haha!
He’s still asking a lot of questions. I called him a silly goose this morning and a couple minutes later, he asked me what a goose was. It’s interesting how many things I automatically think he knows what I’m talking about, but really he doesn’t know. It’s a big deal that he’s to a point that he’s letting me know that he doesn’t know something and searching for an answer.
I’m going to brag a little about our church family in Kennewick. I was raised in the church since I was 5 and both Cale and I were baptized, and then we were married there. We have been so blessed with an incredible church family, that even though we were gone to NY for several years, they have continued to be a huge blessing to us. God is using them to be a blessing once again, by opening up a house for us to stay in until we have a forever home ready.
It’s so awesome to see again, in such a tangible way, the Lord providing for us. Right before leaving Palo Alto, the idea of staying in this house was brought up to me. At first I was thinking that we had plenty of time, but then the meeting I had right before coming to Seattle, it was brought up that our stay here would be a lot shorter than we had been thinking. Instantly I was able to have peace because I knew that this house was a possibility for a while. What a God thing huh?
Well, September has been the sweet lady behind all of the organizing and preparation. Pretty much, she’s taking the burden of getting everything figured out for us and helping the transition to home (in a home!) be a smooth one. I received an email from her today that she asked if I would post.
If you’re in the Tri-Cities area and would like to help us home, it’s for you! :) Feel free to call her or email to find out how you can help!
Good Afternoon Everyone,
WOW! God is so amazing! Thank you for all of you that came out for the first weekend of the project! I am so blessed that each of you came and worked your hands to the bone!! I can’t wait to see what God has in store for this week. I wanted to give you some updates on the Darling Project (house for Cale and Kathleen)! Things are moving, we have done lots of cleaning, painting and some demo work.
Below are different ways in the next week you can be of service:
1. PRAY- for Cale and Kathleen as they are leaving the hospital on Friday and heading to North Carolina to give an extra few days!! Also pray that the projects happening on Saturday and Sunday, are completed and that no one is hurt in the process.
2. Work Days-
Friday, March 18, 2011- Touch Up Painting and Cleaning 10:30am-2:00pm
Saturday, March 19, 2011- PAINTING, CLEANING, Yard Work, Demo, ETC….- 8:00am- 4:00pm
(We have knowledgeable workmen that will give directions, we need hands that are willing to help, NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY!!)
(If you can only come for a short time we would still love to have you)
Things to bring:
Cleaning: Cleaners, Rags, Sponges, Towels, etc….
Painting: Brushes, Rollers, Drop Clothes, etc…..
Yard Tools: Rakes, Weed Eaters, ETC…..
3. Welcome Home Shower- If you would like to bless them with items they need for their home here is the link to shop online or you can visit Target and get a list: http://www.target.com/lists/39X43GXEQKQSR. If you visit Target (store) the list is under my name: September Theriault. Password to print: Darling
4. Fill the Pantry- Still Looking for anyone that would be interested in helping in this department. Email me separately and we will get you a small list!
5. Financially- If you are interested in donating monetarily to help provide items for in the house, please contact me privately!
Again, thank you for each and every one of you. You are a blessing to me too. Please email me if you have any questions (firstname.lastname@example.org)!
Here's a few photos from the last work day!
I have some early anniversary fun to share, but I'll wait until tomorrow since this post is super long already :)
Posted by Kathleen at 8:30 PM