Sunday, April 24, 2011

It's about...

It’s been a great day! Kathy, Andy, my sister Carla and her husband Raul, and my nephew Mark all came to church with us. The service was so good. One of the songs we sang spoke to my heart and pumped me up! Haha! I love the truth of it and the power in singing-speaking the words out loud that Christ has risen from the dead and we are one with Him again and He trampled over death by death! So awesome!

This is a video I found and thought it was a good one to share with the song we sang…



After church we took some pictures! It was fun and I think they turned out great! :)
This was all before having to push through Cale’s stubbornness and getting him to lay down for a nap. He fights it every day, but always falls asleep fairly quickly and then is always in a much better mood when he wakes up.





While my sweet husband napped, I got myself busy in the kitchen! Dennis, Kathy, Carla, Raul, Mark, Andy and his daughter all joined us for some yummy food. Last night I started marinating some meat, which we grilled today and had a ton of other food to go with it. I love getting to make food!! It was so much fun getting to cook (with my apron!), have company over, and eat! Cale prayed for the food before we ate. He thanked God for the food, everyone that was there, and then he said, “Thank you for this house.” He then continued to say that it was good and so was the basement (which he hasn’t seen downstairs) and all of it.

Since early on in this journey, but even more lately, the Lord has pressed on my heart that this isn’t about me. It’s so easy to think when something bad, horrible, or tragic happens in our lives, we think it’s against us. Yes, it does change our life, and it does leave a cut or deep wound, but when I gave my life to the Lord, I surrendered my life to Him to use for His glory. I laid down my desires, wants, needs, thoughts, motives-all of me to use to further the Kingdom. The way that my flesh wants to act in a situation is not the way that the Holy Spirit living in me is going to respond. When I gave my life to the Lord, I gave to Him my selfish right to live by my flesh, so that He could transform me to walk in the Spirit.

This trial that we have been facing is not about me. It’s not about how I’m feeling and what I so wish could happen, it’s about the Lord being able to use us if we’re willing to bring glory to His name. I then am choosing to trust Him with every area of my life including all of my desires, wants, needs, thoughts, and motives.

I was in the kitchen last night preparing a few things for today’s lunch and feeling like I need to get away. My emotions were getting the best of me and I could feel a break down coming. The tears were going to come and all I was missing was a pint of ice cream to ease my nerves.

I paused for a minute from my “busy” work and just stood in the kitchen. I could hear the words take hold of my thoughts that it wasn’t about me, and then just as quick I then spoke out loud how my heart was truly feeling in that moment, “I want it to be about me.”

It’s rough, long, tiring, draining. I feel as though I go round and round on grasping truths through this, but I always have to remind myself again.

I want to be able to complain and say it’s all about how much we’ve lost and how hard this has been on us and how weak I feel sometimes and how I miss my husband the way that he was when I married him. I’m sad that he has lost so much.

I want it to be about me so that a big pity party could be thrown and then because it was about me, everything would be able to be fixed…by whatever could fill the void.

The Holy Spirit is always so quick to respond to my aching heart to remind me again that it’s not about me. I went to bed with emotions every which way, but was reminded by what today represents that it’s not about me. To have the people that were sitting around me in church today, to have this house to come home to, to have my husband to hold my hand…

It’s not about me. It’s not about us. It’s about Christ and Him shining so brightly though our lives that we create a beautiful song for all in Heaven to dance to.

It’s about Jesus dying for us, conquering death, and being raised from the dead. It’s about Him being a sacrifice so that I-we can be saved from hell and to live forever with Him in glory.

Amen!

Our day was full of card games, playing with the dogs, good food, Cale playing hockey, a Bingo game, and a bunny cake. So much fun!

Also, yesterday was Cale’s first time taking his cane out! We went to the store and then again he went to church today with just his cane. He needed to use my hand for quite a bit of support, but oh man! It felt SO good to walk alongside him and get to hold his hand! I can get used to that! ;)


Happy Resurrection Day from the Darling’s!!

5 comments:

  1. Those are great pictures Kathleen. I love you so much, and I am so proud of you.

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  2. I'm so happy to hear that you had an amazing Easter day today. God knew what you needed, and He let everything fall into place (even Cale getting to take his nap)!

    Just remember that emotions are always unstable, some days moreso than others, but just like love, it is a CHOICE to choose what you will do, or feel. God is our firm foundation, and He is the one that is never-changing! Remember that you are allowed to waiver, but choose to stand on solid ground (His Solid Ground).

    I feel bad that when I stopped by the other day that you were so busy, things were so hectic. I hope that the hug helped, even for alittle bit. I got to talk to you a little, but I didn't get to pray with you. And for that, I want to apologize. Just know, that no matter what the time is, how things are going, or where your emotions might be at that minute, that there's a whole load of us praying for and over you!

    God bless you both,
    Terri

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  3. Kathleen, I think I need to print this post and hang it in multiple places in my home. I may have been able to sing the words of that song to you today, but you remind me to slow down, breathe it all in, listen to God sing over me and into me. I hope I can be even half the encouragement to you in the years ahead that you have been to me in this journey you and Cale are on.
    Love, Bonnie Bennett

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  4. Cale saying thank you for the house is a BIG STEP to thanking Father for his (Cale's) home with you. :) Did you hunt eggs on Sunday?!?!!! My granddaughter did. It was such fun. I love you and continue to trust Father for you and Cale. I love the pictures. Marion

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  5. Thanks Kathleen, for letting us all come & join you on this journey, through the hard times & the joyous ones! It may not be "about you"....BUT....the Lord is using you & your life for HIS glory!

    I heard this beautiful, "worship-full" song, for the 1st time today & thought of you. I know that the words are your heart-cry also...."Lord, I need you more"!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=i-66KeF1LQ4

    Continual love, prayers, & blessings to you & Cale....

    Judy Jay

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