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Friday, May 13, 2011

"I Believe You."

I tried to post this last night, but Blogger was down. When I was finally able to get in it this morning, my last post has disappeared! :( Does anyone know how to fix this? Hmm…so sad.

Here is from last night…


Early this afternoon, a lady from Rehab Without Walls came and did an evaluation with Cale. I had asked her on the phone last week if she could come and not mention “therapy” or “rehab” to him. Right now those two words are not taken well with him. She talked with Cale for a short time and then when he started to show signs that it was too much, I stepped outside with her and the two of us talked. The one thing that stood out to me was during our conversation, she said to me that Cale has so much potential. I know that he does, but it’s always so great to hear it from a professional!

She left today and said that she would be working up a plan for Cale to start when we come back from Seattle. Please be praying that insurance and everything goes through. I think this would be such an awesome thing for him…I’m so excited!Please be praying that it would be what he needs and that he would tolerate and be willing to participate. Please be praying for motivation, endurance, and energy! As of now the plan is to get this started while we're in Seattle also!

Mark was here again today to help. I was able to attack a few things while the two guys played cards. Cale loves getting to play with Mark and have a little guy time. While I was organizing, Mark was able to get Cale on the elliptical for a bit. Mark did the bike right next to him and even when Cale was tired, Mark encouraged him to do a little more and he did it!

Mark was also talking about going skateboarding. This of course sparked excitement in Cale and then he was very set that they needed to go outside and board. When I told him they couldn’t go, he wasn’t happy to hear it and was very firmly demanding his request…change of subject!

He’s not there yet…

The first fall since being home and the second fall since the accident happened today. :( !!! I watched Cale walk past the kitchen table as I was sitting there, but I didn’t think anything of it. Next thing I hear is a loud noise outside. My heart stopped. Oh Lord please no!

There are some steps out back that he can do with help but not by himself. The left side is pretty scary because that’s just a drop off and then on the right it drops to the deck. Well, my fear came to live when I ran out the back door and Cale was on the ground. He had fallen off the left side…

He didn’t hit his head from what he told me, but he does have a yucky scrape on his arm. I have to make sure it doesn’t get any kind of infection because he can’t have any kind when radiation starts in just a week or so.

It made my heart really sad for him. I’m so thankful it wasn’t his head! I’m so thankful that we walked away from that with just a scratch. I’m going to be hunting for help to get some kind of railing up next to those steps!

Cale always says, “No way Jose!” Well, we were talking earlier and I said that to him. He turned to me and said, “You can call be Jose and you can be Josette.” Hahaha!

This is what we spent our evening watching…

And, I’m very sadly reporting that the Wings lost. I have a very unhappy husband who can’t believe that we didn’t win and keep going. We were both so excited for the game, Cale even watched the hour before pregame stuff…

They played hard this season and really kept it up there. We’ll try for next year! Also, I can’t help but love this season a little much, because we got to see them play in PERSON! I have those memories saved in a really fun decorated file in my brain and if I could just stick a thumb drive into my ear and copy that folder (along with MANY others!) and give to Cale I would. I hate that he finally was able to watch his team play and can’t remember!

It’s good I have pictures! :)

For that game, they gave us this…

Cale was trying to type something about the Red Wings on Facebook tonight. I set the computer up for him and he adjusted to the right place, but he can’t find the keys and his eyes close, and when he first started typing, he typed the two first letters and then with all the struggle that took, he had forgotten what he was going to say. I was able to talk him into waiting until morning to give it another try. When we closed the computer, he said again, “I forgot what I was going to say.” I replied with my automatic response, “its ok.” And right after Cale said, “For you.”

These things he has to go through are not ok. He may not always understand or remember, but in that moment it’s hard for him. And it stinks! It’s not ok that he doesn’t remember something that was just in his head. It’s not ok that he can’t play hockey and go snowboarding. It’s not ok that he has to take medicine three times a day. It’s not ok that he needs to use a cane to walk or he feels really unbalanced. It’s not ok that he doesn’t feel good and doesn’t understand why.

I was very much reminded that Cale is going through a lot right now as his brain continues to heal. I can’t forget that it’s not easy for him.

After praying together before he went to sleep, I said to Cale, what I’ve been saying since the beginning in ICU, “God is doing a mighty work in you Caleb.” I remember praying that over him desperate that God would be doing things that my small brain couldn’t imagine, while he was in his coma. I wanted the heavens to be opened up to him and for him to have so much wisdom poured into him. I still don’t know and may never know what the Lord chose to do during that time, but tonight when I said that to Cale, for the first time he said, “I believe you.”

Those words went straight to my heart and started a firework party. It’s been a long time since he’s responded to me saying those words. Amazing. Absolutely there was a one of a kind firework party!


  1. Wow, it seems like he is showing so much more awareness, Kathleen!

  2. Kathleen:
    Know that I continue to check your updates daily and pray for both of you.

  3. Made me cry ...Again ( I feel like Forest Gump...) Believing is sometimes the hardest part~ Caleb you mighty warrior and man of God you are so much like Caleb in the Bible who believed God in the face of all those Giants and did not back down - AMEN !!!!! You are right it is NOT okay - and he nailed it !!!! BUT I am going to say it WILL BE OKAY ! I am believing the at the mighty work God is doing is going to overshaddow and make a loose memory of all this other stuff! Oh Kathleen I am so excited for you both to see what will take place in him and for him ! So sorry about the fall - "Momma said there'd be days like these" ..... Praying for you I can't even imagine what that feels like - (((()))) hugs to you both !!! LOVE Ya !!!!!

  4. I am soooo glad I KNOW Father has you in the palm of HIs hands, otherwise I might be tempted to get angry, really angry at your situation...not you, but the fact you are in the place Father has you. I have just finished the study of Isaiah. It has shown me again, the awesomness of God. He loves us so much, enough to let us go through some pretty horrific things, to get us where He wants us. I KNOW HE IS IN CINTROL OF ALL THINGS!! I love you and am so proud of you. You make Father's heart sing. Marion

  5. Hey you two. I could just feel your joy in my own heart when I read those words, "I believe you." How awesome our faithful God is to give you little glimses of Cale's heart from day to day and encourage you.
    Love you two....keep pressing on you have met God in so many ways that most of us never will! Love, Greg & Julie

  6. Ah, how precious those three little words are, and how full of meaning and trust. "I believe you." Mmmm. I'm going to hold onto that memory in my heart too. I need to believe that God is doing a mighty work through my suffering as well. Been studying Ps 116 this week. Verse 10 says "I believed (in God) even when I spoke, "I am greatly afflicted".

    Sarah Bosse


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