This weekend was a crazy amazing blessing. Wow. On the way home, I kept thinking about how insane it was that I spent a weekend in NYC with all of these famous writers that were willing to listen to what I have to share and help come up with the best way to share it. I’m totally blown away.
It was definitely a full trip complete with hard work and Kathleen-adventures! :) The first morning, all the women loaded in a bus and were taken to the Writers Guild of America building. We ate breakfast and had time to visit. It was one of those awkward times where everyone is searching for conversation. After, we were introduced to all of the mentors that volunteered their time to work with us! The list of everything that they’ve written for was lengthy!
We were all broken off into groups and then given our specific mentors that will continue to work with us even though the workshop is over. My group was 5 ladies and our mentors are: Marsha Norman, Eric Bogosian, and John Markus. After everyone was sitting around the table and the talking started…my heart almost pounded its way out of my chest! I sat there thinking how everyone around me must here it!
On the first day we did 2 writing projects. The first one I had a really hard time with! They wanted us to “rage write” and write who we’re angry at or what we’re angry at. I sat there while all these ladies are writing and honestly, wondering what in the world I was doing there! I couldn’t think of anything or anyone that I was angry at! I finally wrote about how I was angry at the accident and all that feels stolen from us. The next writing we did was writing as if we were able to get into our husbands mind and what he would be saying to us. I wanted to share them with you. I wasn’t going to at first, but figured, why not? You here all my thoughts anyways! :)
It sucks that this happened. I hate it. So much was taken-so many memories. Everything changed so quickly-without anyway to prepare. There is no rewind button to go back to that moment. Never again will I get to experience life and the dreams we had, with the same person I married. I hate it. I hate that not only was his life ripped from him robbing him of being a man-but my life as I knew it was snatched away in a moment that is lost…
Memories that were shared, thoughts that had been expressed, dreams that we desired…
I see your face and it makes me smile. I see your smile and I feel your hugs. I taste your kiss and I know I love you. Looking into your eyes brings me so much comfort. I don’t always know if you’re my friend or my wife, but please never leave me; I know that I need you. I’m so confused; I don’t know who I am, but I know I love when I hold your hand. When I’m scared and unsure; I don’t know what to do, I’m thankful for you-your presence, your smile.
Those were two of the started projects. Short and just to get things out and going. Everyone in our group wrote so well! I felt very much unqualified to be there. One of the things that Marsha had said though caught my attention and stayed with me, working its way into a blossoming flower in my heart.
“If you don’t tell what you know, than people will never hear it.”
So simple, but as the day went on, I started to think about how there are so many women that are hurting. The one person they’re supposed to be able to count on-is failing, and that person, they’re husband has no control over it. The most common “injury” that these husbands have is PTSD. Thankfully, Cale doesn’t have that on top of his TBI-that would put us in a crazy enchilada!
There is so much anger and loss; so much confusion and helplessness. What do you hold onto? What keeps them going?
I want to be able to tell our story and be available for God to use us and bring hope to women that after whatever injury or trauma (physical or emotional) that they’re marriage has faced, there’s still hope for a fairytale ending…it’s just gonna be their own kind of fairytale. There’s another side-a side once you’ve gotten through some of the muck…a side of love and joy!
It can be a long road, but it’s possible.
The next day, we worked on some more stuff and then they gave each of us a starting place and some advice to run with. I’ve already started and am super excited!!! Also, the mentors are available through email, but also in a few months, there is going to be a follow up work shop! Between now and then, we’re going to all be working on whatever we’re writing and then be able to go back and discuss it and critique it and see what’s next! So exciting!
That afternoon, all of us ladies were able to go see Broadway shows! Disney donated tickets! The group I was with went to Mary Poppins and I LOVED it! So much fun!
That night I was walking around the city with a couple of the other girls. We found out that Will Smith was there filming Men in Black 3…so we hunted! Some of the other women were able to find him and get some video of them shooting, but all of our hunting was unsuccessful. But, we still had so much fun!
Not only was this weekend full of opportunity and excitement, I met some pretty amazing women. I know that they’re not just going to be friends for that one weekend, but they’ll be friends for a long time! It’s so awesome to have people that understand in a way that a lot of people cant. I’m so blessed by them and getting to laugh, share, and have adventures! I really admire them!
While I was gone, Sonny took Cale back to Kennewick on Saturday after his counseling session. He stayed with his mom Saturday night and then went to church. After lunch, he drove back here with Sonny.
I received this picture at one point that said, “I turned him into a rock star. I hope that’s okay with you” Haha!
It was good for Cale to go back home and get some time out of Seattle just like me!
After a long flight home yesterday…where yes, I woke up to myself drooling on one of my flights. I was one of those people…the people that sleep with they’re mouth hanging open and drool. So gross.
I was back with Cale!!!!
It was SO good to get back to him. I was a crazy person while gone, and couldn’t get myself to stop talking about him! This blog is so great because every day it helps me to look and get to see even the little changes in Cale. Well, after being gone for the few days, I’m seeing lots of changes! He’s been able to bring things up and express himself more. Last night we went to Sonny’s parents’ house for steak and Cale cut some on his own! It was a lot of work, so he was only able to cut a couple pieces off, but so far he hasn’t been able to do that!! Also, every time that I’ve ever left him, even for just most of the day and I call to talk to him, he’s always sad! He says how he misses me and wants me back. Well, Friday night when I called, it was the first time that he was happy! He was like that all weekend too!
Last night before we went to bed, we had a funny little conversation…
C: “Geese can’t be humans.”
Not sure where that came from…but he’s right! :)
I asked him last night what his favorite part of the whole weekend was. He said, "seeing you." Awww! He's so stinkin' sweeeeeet! He may have only said that because that's all he could remember in that moment, but I'm totally claiming that he said it because of how sweet he is!
Thank you so, so, SO much to everyone that is praying and fasting for Cale this week!! Here was the final list!
Monday, June 20
8am- Marion& Kim
9am- Sandi& Kim
10am- Bonnie, Krystal, Hannah, Janis, and Kim
11am- Amanda& Kim
12pm- Macy and Mel& Kim
1pm-Nikki, Temarie, Grandma& Kim
2pm- Nikki& Kim
3pm- Nikki , Juan& Kim
4pm- Karen, Vickie, and Kim
5pm- Loriel& Kim
6pm- Kim&Joy, Michelle
7pm- Deb& Kim
8pm- Kathy& Kim
9pm- Sandra, Megan, and Kim
Tuesday, June 21
8am- Phyllis& Kim
1pm- Temarie, Grandma, Janis,
Wednesday, June 22
8am- Alyssa& Kim
11am- Reenie& Sarah
1pm- Temarie& Grandma
9pm- Sandra &Megan
Thursday, June 23
8am- Jean& Kim
9am- Sandi & Jean
12pm- Stacy, Vickie, and Casey
1pm- Temarie, Grandma, Janis
Friday, June 24
8am- Phyllis& Kim
1pm- Temarie, Grandma, and Maegan
3pm- Juan& Maegan