Wednesday, October 5, 2011

WA to NY!

Oh the joys of traveling. It’s been quite the trip indeed! I thought we were getting to bed early last night; lights were out between 9-9:30pm. My alarm was set to go off at 3:30am and my plan was to get Caleb up at 4. Neither of us slept most of the night, between a cover hog and the dog it was the perfect picture of a nonstop rollathon (whatever that looks like). Almost on the dot Cale woke up to go to the bathroom. This has happened before and ends up being perfect! While he’s taking care of business, I swoop in getting his clothes set up on the bed. I asked if when he was done if he could get dressed. I knew with the clothes sitting right where he would get back in bed, they would serve as a perfect reminder. My attention was required in the finishing up of gathering all the last minute “stuff” to get packed. When I went back to the room to check on Cale and see how his task at hand was going, I found him and Basil cuddled up and asleep! At least he was dressed though!

Cale in an exhausted state of mind is much like a cranky 2 year old, but instead of the screaming fits; he titles everything loudly as “dumb.” While in the airports we’ve been having fun it’s a good break up for the zone of tiredness. I must say, even with him being so tired, he’s been a champ! I’m proud of him!! Again he was able to walk to each gate without the wheelchair. I had planned ahead to make sure we had long enough layovers so a couple stressors could be knocked out. I think his favorite part so far has been the moving sidewalks. As soon as he saw the first one today, he pointed and said, “Let’s go!” As if we needed to conquer the challenge. He cruises on them now! My short little legs were going double time to keep up with his long legs! Haha! He smiles the entire time we’re on them.

The flights have been rather interesting…more for the lady next to us then for us. The first flight it was just us and we were able to pretzel ourselves enough to get somewhat comfy and doze off and on. Not a point to feel rested, but enough to make the flight seem really quick! The second flight we had to ask someone to switch spots because we were separated and that just wasn’t going to do…

Cale had the window seat, me the middle, and Pam (that’s what we’ll call her) had the aisle. She didn’t respond to my attempts at conversation, but I know that she had entertainment while watching us during the 3 hour flight! Our time consisted of switching from music to PSP back to music, PSP again; mixed in with a few other focused attempts to keep a melt down from surfacing. Cale was bored and when he’s tired and bored it’s a lot harder to find the right fit to keep him steady. We also tried more sleep, but on this flight he was feeling the lack of leg room. At one point he had his legs spread out reaching in front of my seat, one of my legs was up on my seat and then my other leg was folded and bent in a yoga-like position over his. This caught her attention…I saw her eyes peek from behind her glasses that sat on the tip of her nose.

When Cale listened to music, he would tap all around and sing out loud so that the people around us could also enjoy the exciting music he was listening to. I thought it was fun and since I knew the songs, I liked getting to listen, but I can’t say that everyone else would say the same. This was all joined in with belly full laughter from me when at one point Cale tapped my arm followed with, “Eww!” When I looked up, the top of his index finger was hosting an unwanted booger…uh…oh yes, she peeked again from behind her glasses and I’m sure was grossed out and wishing she had been the one willing to switch spots earlier. I pulled out a wrinkled napkin from my purse and cleaned everything up. Not even a minute later Cale shouts out, “Eww! Again! Eww!” Yes, you guessed right, another booger. This happened a third time before he was finished. I was laughing hysterically…

Our flight landed in Atlanta 20 minutes early, but we stayed on for a while waiting for most of the passengers to exit before we try. It’s a lot nicer than feeling like we have to rush to get out of the way! As soon as our plane pulled up to the gate, they started playing music over the speaker. We had fun singing to each other and at that point, it didn’t matter at all that we were singing out loud because everyone was already leaving the plane! :)

We’ve had a good time chillin’ in Atlanta. After dinner we had to get some frozen yogurt…we were left without a choice! It just had to happen! Heehee! Cale has perked up quite a bit so hopefully this next flight is good for him. We’ve been watching a, I’d say, 6 month old baby girl and her daddy. So sweet! I think it’s good for him to see daddy’s and their children…

Yesterday morning when I was reading my Bible and using my devotional, the first line read, “Trust and thankfulness will get you safely through this day.” My first reaction was, “uh oh!” while wondering what was going to come my way that I would need to be reminded of that. Haha! In the next paragraph it read, “Keeping your eyes on Me (Jesus) is the same thing as trusting Me. It is a free choice you must make thousands of times daily.” As I went through the day, I was trying to remind myself and keep trust and thankfulness at the front lines of my thoughts and how I responded to circumstances that came up. Nothing big happened, but there were at least two specific times that it changed my attitude towards something.

One of them being last night after we turned the lights off, I closed my eyes and started to think about going to NY with Cale. Instantly I saw his face. It’s still so hard for me to grasp and understand the feeling of having this man as my husband, but feeling like I was married to another man. I’m not sure that I could ever explain the emotional thought process I replay over and over in my head. Anyways…back to what I was saying, I saw Cale (preaccident) and began to relive several memories. I suddenly had this desperate overwhelming need to touch him; to talk to him, to hold him. I’m sure you might be thinking as you’re reading that I needed to open my eyes and I could do all those things, but…it was so real to see him that way again in that moment. The tears were coming and I started to wish that I could just scream really loud and everything would go back to February 9, 2010. That life would be just how wonderful I remembered it being. Will I ever get past wanting to find the rewind button? Not sure. I do know that every day I am changing and I know my heart is being molded and my love for Cale continually is being deepened, but it doesn’t “fix” anything.

Right as I was about to have myself a little meltdown, two words popped into my little brain: trust and thankfulness.

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. -1 Peter 5:7

He’s got it. He’s got it all in the palm of His hand-all of it. Every tear, every desperate moment I have every image that is printed on my heart of Caleb. He knows every desire to scream and change things, every time I want the rewind button…

So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. Colossians 2:6-7

…and my heart is overflowing with thankfulness for every detail that He has stitched together in my life and for the passion that my husband has even with a brain injury. He may have a fog over his joy, but he’s got full access to passion. So often when I talk to people or listen to people talk, I notice how they lack passion for life. Whether it’s something great or just being angry about something, what is any of it without passion?

I think if God didn’t create us and love us passionately, He wouldn’t have sent His ONLY PERFECT Son to die for us and take on all of our sin.

Is there something in your life that you can automatically say you’re passionate about or are you lacking? Is your marriage filled with passion? Your love for your children? Your job? Do you have a passion for sharing Christ with people that don’t know Him?

Cale has taught me about living a passionate life.

He’s passionate about Mt. Dew and chicken nuggets to every kiss that he gives me.

I love him.

UPDATE-
We’re here! We made it safe and it’s almost 2am so we’re hopefully going to be asleep soon! :) The flight was really great and so was the hour drive home. Cale is excited to be here! Yay! Me too! Me too!
So awesome!

Flight #1- Cale held his cane as he walked to the plane! :) I wasn't paying attention when we got up to it though and he ended up slamming his head while going in...oops.


Flight #2- Right before the adventures begin! I only posted about some of them!


Flight #3- This is what the day did to us...

2 comments:

  1. You are amazing!! Being able to update even with the long flights and all. I am sorry for "Pam". She missed a chance to meet a really neat lady. I love you, Marion

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  2. Hi Kathleen,
    I didn't have any other way of contacting you so hope this finds you. I promised that I would let you know when I am coming to Kennewick to pick up my sewing machine and I will be there tomorrow...Friday. I want to invite Dawn for dinner and want to know if you could meet us? Let me know asap. sue.violette@gmail.com

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