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Wednesday, December 7, 2011

When I don’t understand…

Ok, so…I think I’m making a habit and it’s becoming routine to forget to update this blog! It’s not really that I’m forgetting, more like, filling my time with so many other things!

One of the things I’ve been up to the last few days has been busting out some crafts! I love getting to make things and haven’t been able to for so long! A huge reason was time! When Cale was still inpatient, everyone would say I needed to take advantage of the nurses being there and do things that were for me. It was a good plan and I know families that were good at that, but I wasn’t! I just wanted to be with my husband and the thought of leaving him at the hospital alone made my heart sink. I knew that he was ok and I knew I didn’t have to worry; that wasn’t the issue. I knew that if I was the one in the hospital, I would have wanted someone with me!

Since we’ve been home, I have literally been insanely busy! I still have a lot of filing to do because I have stacks of documents; I have a million emails to reply to, and then the normal day to day things. It keeps me going that’s for sure! I’m not sure that I’ve experienced boredom in a really long time.

I decided recently that I was going to make myself take a break from all the “stuff” that has piled up and attack a few fun projects! I’ve been having a blast! There are a few more things that I need to finish up before Christmas and then I’m going to buckle down and try to get ahead of the ball game. It’s kind of pathetic that I’ve gotten so far behind!

And I have plans for these words…are you close by and have old wood you want to get rid of? I need some!

Rewinding to Sunday-

We are blessed. In fact, on Sunday night as I was cuddled up with Cale and Basil watching a Christmas movie, that’s all I could think of! One of the many blessings in our lives is the relationships we have. Some of you we’ve never met and yet, you are so precious to me! I am so thankful for you and for each prayer that you’ve said for us. There have been several relationships that have come because of meeting some of you that read all my posts. From that, many special friendships have begun. I just feel so blessed and that’s only a piece! Many of you that have never met us have been bold enough when seeing us somewhere to come say hi. Again…blesses my socks off! I was at the store on Sunday afternoon picking up a few things and a very sweet lady (my mind is blank on her name…it’ll come to me! I feel so rude that I don't remember...I just get so excited in the moment!) walked up to me with her daughter (who was adorable!) and introduced herself. She has been reading the blog since about the beginning and encouraged me so much within the few minutes we talked! God is so good isn’t He?! I love how He works and how His plans include blessings I would have never been able to come up with!

I also thought about how far Cale has come and how much of a life together and family we still have. So much more could have been taken away…and still can be. We’re gonna just keep our eyes on the Lord and know that we’re blessed!

Monday night after having dinner with our small group, we had the opportunity to worship with Kim Walker! I was going back and forth trying to decide if Cale should come with. Part of me knew it could be powerful and awesome, but the other part of me kept thinking about how miserable it could be for him. I decided to go for it and have him join me. When we arrived at the church, the parking lot was packed! I wasn’t expecting so many people I guess. We ended up sitting in the balcony on the last row. It was perfect because it was by the door, but we had a nonstop flow of people walking past us. I felt myself starting to get really annoyed because I was trying to worship and every few seconds I would be getting distracted with someone walking in front of me, but I was also getting worked up because as they walked past, they kept bumping into Cale. It’s not like they knew and were just being rude, but because I know him…it really bothered me! I think I had a little bit of a bull-like creature threatening to come out and ram the next person to walk by. Cale was getting upset and started hitting himself which freaked out the kid next to us.

I knew that the situation was much bigger than just frustration from people walking by. Yes, it was annoying, but letting my emotions and focus shift was not just distracting me from the music, but from experiencing the presence of God! I began to pray and even grabbed Cale and prayed with him. It’s so easy I think with all things we fill our lives with to shift our focus off the Lord and whatever the situation is. This is the difference between walking in the flesh and walking in the Spirit. I was even at a worship service and my attention was shifted so quickly!

It ended up being a great night, but I struggled the entire time not to be so annoyed! Cale sat down out of frustration and even put his legs up on the seat in front of us to block the traffic! That made it worse though because they kept coming and every time he would have to move his legs. I laughed a little watching him do it though!

We sang one song that I sang as loud as I could. Part of the words were:

When I don’t understand I will choose you (x2)
When I don’t understand I will choose to love you God (x2)

Such powerful words and yet so simple.

One of the other projects I started yesterday was Christmas cards. We didn’t send any out last year because I sent out the prayer cards and it was around this time (Let me know if you haven’t gotten a prayer card yet and would like one!). I spent a good portion of last night addressing as many as my hand could take! We have part of them in the mail and the rest will be out in the next couple days. I didn’t send out nearly as many as I would have liked, but that’s ok! :) Cale even helped me put the cards in the envelopes today!

A few funny things from Cale the last few days…

On Saturday evening, I was sitting at the table with Mama and Cale. I think Cale was still eating his dinner and I was looking up his Christmas gift online. Mama suddenly started shouting, “Cramp! Cramp!” and Cale kept saying, “Crap? Crap?” Mama would try to say it clearer and tell him she had a cramp in her leg, but all Cale heard was crap. After a few moments of confusion and laughter, Cale stands up, walks to Mama, reaches for her and said, “Come on.” He then proceeded to lead her to the bathroom! The whole time Mama and I are laughing so hard we can’t even speak! When he came back and sat down, I told him he was funny and his reply was, “Well, she was about to crap all over the place.”

I’ve been bugging Cale like crazy to show me or tell me what he bought me for Christmas. He has gone shopping with Mama and then one of his therapists. He won’t budge but I’m having quite the time teasing him about it. I asked one night one more time before they all got wrapped and this time he said with a smirk, “Yeah, um, I got you a, I got you a tampon!” uh…what?! Haha! I’m not sure if that is one of those things I shouldn’t post, but I can’t help myself! He was being a stinker!

I had been talking to Cale about food. The conversation was kind of a boring one, but my point was that chicken nuggets can be found anywhere not just McDonalds. After I said that, Cale pointed at me and said “You watch your mouth!” Haha! We both burst into laughter!

There’s never a boring day with him around!


  1. Hey- That lady is Lisa Dirksen! I know her!! :)

  2. OH, MY!!I couldn't stop laughing about the ....cra m p. I needed that. I have had some stretching moments and needed the medicine of laughter. About the cramp, though, we take Calm, a relaxing magnesium supplement. It mnakes quite a difference. I love you and will continue to trust Father for you and Cale...your mom, too. Marion

  3. Kathleen, you make me smile every time I read. So glad you got some crafting time in and it is well with your soul. Love, Julie H.

  4. Lisa! I was going to say LISA! When I typed it I second guessed myself...I knew it was Lisa. Man.

  5. I'm so glad you made it back but glad you took the time to work on your crafting. I enjoy your blog and the fun things Cal do and say to make us all smile. You take care. Jean

  6. Oh laughter is good for the heart and so healthy! I love doing crafts..the cleaning up is the part I dont like tho! Glad to hear things are going well. Take care and enjoy the holidays!
    ~Christy G

  7. Ok first off I think you need to write a joke book about all Cale's and your crazy stuff. I laugh so hard when you share. I'm seriously sweating I just laughed so hard. Laughter is so good. Thank you God for sweet, amazing laughter!! I know it gets me through my days. Elijah is our unintentional comic. He always has me laughing. I had to call Tej the other week because Elijah was having a not so private inner dialogue with himself. Mom will kill me if she reads this. Hopefully she doesn’t because it has to do with farting, and that was a naughty word growing up at our house. So I was sitting on the couch doing my quiet time when I hear Jake behind me in the kitchen saying to himself out loud that he needed to fart. This is how it went. He is reading his science book out loud and then his talk with himself starts. Jake- “I need to fart... but I can’t cause I’ll pee myself.” Then quiet. Then…well the sound of..uh… a fart. Jake- “There.” Jake sounding surprised- “Oh! I didn’t pee myself this time.” Seriously I don't know where he gets this stuff, but I'm so thankful that he makes me laugh.

  8. The "cramp story" was tooooooo funny!! THanks for sharing with us! God is good and laughter is good for the soul. Praying for you in Sanford, NC!!
    Emily Jordan

  9. Hannah Hayner12/11/11, 7:59 PM

    yes, i definitely laughed out loud when i read the cramp story! hahahahaha

  10. thanks i needed the laugh!


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