Sunday, January 1, 2012

Everything.

Happy 2012! The last few days I’ve had an extra excitement for this year to come. I just know it’s going to be great! I think part of it may be that I’m coming at it from a different angle…my focus isn’t just on Cale’s healing and progress. I’m definitely not putting that on the back burner by any means and I for sure look forward to all that’s to come, but…it’s not my focus anymore.

The Holy Spirit started working on my heart today from the moment I opened my eyes. I didn’t crawl into bed until 12:30 and then it always takes me a bit to fall asleep. I know many of you were still out and about at that time, but normally I’m already cuddled up to my man by that time. When my alarm went off I dreaded the idea of getting out of bed and having to get dressed and ready for church. The thought of sleeping in danced in my mind. When I tried to wake Cale, he gave me the same kind of response that was just a thought for me. He did NOT want to get up. He had gone to bed about 9pm, but didn’t sleep well at all. That of course meant that I didn’t sleep, so with all of this in my thoughts I began to justify skipping church. All the while another thought kept popping up…it’s the first day of 2012, do I really want to start it by sleeping in or by worshipping the Lord?

I finally told Cale that I would get up and get showered and then come back to wake him. He wasn’t exactly happy with the idea, but he agreed. While we were in a rush to get ready since we had already set the alarm as late as possible, Cale yelled for me to come quickly. He had an accident and not once while I cleaned pee off my bathroom floor did I have any kind of frustration, anger, bitterness, or sadness. Rather, I felt joy for being able to care for my husband. Now, I can’t always say that feeling “joy” in a moment like that has been my experience, but I know that I love this man so much that I’m willing to do whatever is needed and always have been.

When we arrived at church, again I felt so full…full of…I don’t even know! Within minutes I was already so grateful that we had decided to be there. Cale was tired, but I knew he was glad too. Worship started and I immediately knew service was going to be good. I don’t want to get stuck using churchy words, but the only way I can think to describe what was taking place was the Holy Spirit prompting me. I felt His presence so personally.

One of the songs that came on was Lead Me to the Cross. This one never fails to bring me to a place of wanting to just hand the Lord everything. Especially when I hear my husband belting all the words! Oh man.

As I sang, Everything I once held dear I count it all as lost… a list of so many things that I held so dear to me, that seemed so important, I honestly do count as lost. There are hard days and always will be, but more and more I think my perspective is becoming more about the Kingdom and how things here are so fleeting. Dustin our Pastor was talking this morning on how we focus so much on safety and security and how many people have said that the safest place to be is in the will of God. He pointed out that all throughout scripture we see that His will isn’t “safe.” It’s the best place to be, but that doesn’t mean it’ll be comfortable.

The New Year is a time when a lot of people make resolutions and goals for what they want for the next year. I certainly have many hopes and dreams that I hope come with this year, but one thing I want is to be brought to my knees daily; brought to the cross. After writing that in my notes during the sermon, my very next thought was that it’s not realistic to expect a powerful mountain moving time with the Lord every day and then I stopped myself-why not?! Why can’t we have that? He desires that for us! He longs for it! The creator of the universe WANTS to have over the top amazing DAILY moments with YOU!

Gets me all excited even as I type.

Our Pastor talked about Genesis 12:1-3 and Leave, Go, and Bless. He challenged us and I want to also challenge you: to start this new year what is God asking you to LEAVE behind so that you can GO in the direction He has for you so that you can BLESS others?

These words as he spoke and thought about what we needed to leave behind and what was holding us back from all that God wanted to do through us hit me. I knew exactly what it was and I didn’t want to give it up. I found my way to the alter and surrendered. Through tears and brokenness, I handed over the one thing I’ve been holding onto so tightly, but knowing all along that I can’t move forward if I don’t cut the ties.

When I found my way back, I had no idea what condition my mascara was in, but I did know that as I stood next to the man next to me, my heart swelled with the fullness of love I have for him. God is so good.

After church we took down all of our Christmas decorations and then later ate a super tasty meal! We had Janis and the girls over so after are bellies were stuffed to the max, I busted out the finger nail polish and we painted our finger nails! :o) Cale sat that activity out! Haha! He actually was given a couple different video games for Christmas by family and played away!


This evening has been perfect with Cale. At one point I just held him in a really long hug. We were having so much fun and laughing together in such a special way…I’m so blessed!

Backing up…

Friday morning I had been on the elliptical while Cale was still sleeping. When I finished, I grabbed my water bottle and walked out of the workout room and out of the corner of my eye I saw a body. My water bottle went flying and I hit the ground! Cale was standing there and I’m thankful it was him because if it happened to be a bad guy…well, falling over wouldn’t have done me much good! Cale laughed so hard!

After getting up and both of us laughing hysterically, I told him that once I finished stretching we would need to get showered. Cale quickly said he couldn't shower. When I asked why he said, “I’m sick” and started making vomit noises! He was faking it and again we laughed so hard!

I’ve been working on a few more projects since all the Christmas decorations were going to be coming down. It feels good to be excited about making things and decorating again. I used to make a bunch of crafty things and make pretty desserts but since the accident, well, I just haven’t thought too much or really wanted to. I think doing the baby shower and the bridal shower got me all excited again!

Friday night I made Carrot Orange Ginger Soup. Mama had made it a couple months ago and I loved it! I’ve been thinking about it ever since and finally decided it needed to be made again. So…ginger is strong. I added too much ginger-TOO MUCH! Have you ever tasted ginger so strong that it made your nose run? Ahhh! Toooooo MUCH! We’ll be trying that one again soon.

We ran a couple errands yesterday and decided to stop for a couple pictures. It was so sunny and beautiful outside and the last day of 2011. Totally perfect for pictures…right?!




Last night we went to some friends’ house for food and games. I questioned how well Cale would do, but I thought it would be fun even for a short time. It didn’t take long before I started seeing signs and then about 2 hours later he was done. Mama and I laughed as we drove away because it was only 8:30 and we were already on our way home! Big partiers we are! ;o)

As we were repacking the Christmas stuff today, Mama found some wrapping paper I made years ago…I’ll have to think about doing that again! :o)


I’ve been mega impressed with Cale’s memory lately. It’s not consistent, but a huge improvement! He has been surprising me all over the place. Love it…love him!


We're thankful for a cozy bed that we get to both sleep in tonight...right next to each other! SO much better than a hospital!

5 comments:

  1. I didn't get to hug you today!!!

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  2. Happy New Year! Kathleen & Caleb!Michele & John & Alexis Siemasko

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  3. You inspire me on so many different levels. Your love, devotion and commitment to God and your family is simply amazing. Keep that chin up and that beautiful smile on your face....Missi

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  4. Thank you for sharing all that the Lord is teaching you. I am learning too! :o)
    Blessings,
    EMily Jordan

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  5. I am SOOOO glad it was Cale, too. It was funny. You are right, I don't think hitting the floor would have helped if it had been an intruder. :) While our stories are different, it is amazing how alike what Father is giving us is alike. For me, He is showing me it is NOT about me, but about HIM. I need to take the focas off how I feel, what I think, how I am affected, how others respond when I do something, and so on. Father is so merciful. I am learning alot about His GRACE. I even got abook for Christmas about His Grace!!! It's deffinatly at the top os my reading list. To, it's funny how our Sunday morning experiences were similar. I thought if I wake up and had time to shower, I would go to the 9:30 service I normally go to. If I didn't, I would go to the the 11:15. I made it to the 9:30. I was glad I did. The songs wee just what I needed, the sermon was just what Father wanted me to hear and use. I love you and am so grateful for you in my life. H A P P Y N E W Y E A R! Marion

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