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Wednesday, April 25, 2012

some things from & about Cale…

A couple weeks ago (forgot all about it until the other day) I was talking with Cale about our upcoming trip to Seattle (more info to come) and of course that means a long drive which he’s not a fan of…he then said he wanted to teleport. This led to me asking him, if he could teleport to anywhere in the world, where would he go? “Ty’s house.” He replied without hesitation! Ty is his older brother whom he loves and looks up to so much. He always has, but since the accident it’s on a whole other level. Very sweet.

Cale is a trickster…a humorous trickster. The extra funny part is that now he’ll find something of mine to hide thinking he’s funny, but he’ll forget 20 minutes later that he ever had it let alone hid it somewhere so I wouldn’t be able to find it! This has happened a couple times…and as of now, my favorite pair of flip flops are missing in action.
Speaking of humorous trickster...he also has this new thing he’s been doing the last couple weeks that seems to crack him up every time. So, any room we (we as in anyone over visiting or that lives in this house…)  goes into a room or steps outside for a minute will be locked out! He has locked Mama and I out several times! He laughs and will knock on the door back at us. Yesterday when I came home from visiting a friend, I went to open the door and it was locked so I pulled out my keys. I knew Chris was with him inside, but figured they must be in the other room. When I unlocked the bottom lock and tried to open the door again, the top was locked. I stuck my key in and turned unlocking the top and when I tried the door for the third time, the bottom was locked again! He was standing at the door locking as I unlocked! Of course when I finally was able to get in, he was quite pleased with himself!

I love to sing. I can’t actually sing on tune, but I at least love doing it. One of my many quirky things I do is sing everything even if I'm just asking a question. I don’t notice most of the time that I’m even doing it, but often Cale says to me, “Hey, not a song.” Yes sir! Haha! I’m sure he must think I’m the silliest gal in all the land…he keeps me on track.

I’ve thought many times of how to explain Cale’s memory and well, I still don’t know. His memory from before the accident is in and out and his ability to create new memory is in and out. His emotional memory is what sticks the most and that is the expected. Even more lately we’re seeing the truth in this. It wasn’t too many months ago that he would get really angry, but 5 minutes later not remember a thing about him being upset. This is still the case sometimes, but now he’s at a point that sometimes he’ll get really angry at something and 5 minutes later he’s still really angry but has no memory why. The anger is holding on and lingers…yay fun. The best situation we could be in is one that he would be able to remove himself from whatever the stimulation is. In most cases there’s always a trigger, but at the point that things set off, it’s too late to try to talk through and calm. We just need to wait. All that to say, last night on the way home, Cale was in the back seat and his mood escalated very quickly to boiling and as we’re stopped at an extremely busy intersection on highway 395 that runs thru our city, Cale decides to leave his stimulation! Thankfully we were able to keep him in the car and get his seatbelt back on until arriving at home. Oh the adventures!

Back on to memory…not only are experiences and moments gone, but knowledge has also been taken. It’s the same as far as in and out and all over the place. Here are just a handful of the types of questions Cale asks when something in a conversation sparks his curiosity…

Where do goosebumps come from?
Whats the difference between a hiccup and burp?
Why are boxers not called boxhims because they’re for boys?
What does am and pm mean?

What does MRI stand for?

What does magnetic mean?

What is a mammal?

How do people talk?

How long is a moment?

What is a hippie?

What is sandpaper?

Going from a man who seemed to have more knowledge about anything and everything than anyone I knew to now a man who can’t remember the simple facts like what a mammal is. Have I written yet about how he once studied the black hole for 4 hours just because he was curious? It was even a week night after he had worked all day! Now, we giggle at the questions that come out of his mouth!

I posted earlier about how I came up with a schedule and we’ve been doing therapy together every day since he’s currently not getting any outpatient. I wanted to share some of what we’ve worked on lately. Some are funny…

When given the task to give words to describe whatever word I gave he listed…

Restaurant: food, menu, money, dinner, lunch, breakfast, snack, dessert, feet.
Feet? Heehee!

Post Office: mail, money, pop, milk, send mail

Fork: sharp, hand use it, pointy, cut things, catch food, stab food, eat food, everything food but sometimes not

Answer Questions…

What qualities are important in a friend? Niceness, friendliness, funful
How do you feel about fighting? It’s mean.

How are you when it comes to making decisions? Good. Usually good. Sometimes not good. Both.

How do you feel about being late? Not good.

How did you like school? Boring.

How did you learn to drive? I don’t know. Can’t drive. (When I reminded him that he used to drive he said, “video games”)

What is your most prized possession? You my girl. Xbox.

How do you feel about driving the speed limit? Eh. It’s right, but eh, sometimes slow people.

He’s been cracking me up! He’s doing VERY well and has impressed me more than once with his ability to think and come up with so many different answers. Today we were playing with Bananagrams and we were trying to come up with a word that started with a “V” before I could even think of one he said, “venom” wow! Yeah, he’s cool.

Recently, like the last week, Cale has started noticing things. More so than he has before and with more insight than he has had before. It doesn’t faze him too much yet, but I can see it’s there…the thought and processing is happening. When we had gone bowling last week, Cale was frustrated with the bumpers and I had pointed out that Chris was using them as well. “He has them for fun. I need them. Why do I need them?” How do I reply?

After that, maybe next day? We were sitting at the table having breakfast and my bowl just had milk left in it. I was about to tip the bowl and drink and Cale said something about him needing a straw to drink the milk and why didn’t I need one…oh goodness.

And, on the way to his parents’ house on Saturday, he was trying to get something out but it wouldn’t come out the way he knew it needed to. After several tries, he ended with, “Eh, I don’t talk right. Why?”

Breaks my heart to hear him declare these questions and his confusion, but at the same time it’s exciting to see because with more insight and awareness means more healing is taking place!

Yesterday on the radio I heard a poem that was exactly what I needed to hear at that
moment. Maybe right now as you’re reading, it’s what you need to hear…

You are who You are for a reason.
You're part of an intricate plan.
You're a precious and perfect unique design,
Called God's Special woman or man.

You look like you look for a reason.
Our God made no mistake.
He knit you together within the womb,
You're JUST what he wanted to make.

The parents you had were the ones he chose,
And no matter how you may feel,
They were custom designed with God's plan in mind,
And they bear the Master's seal.

No, the trauma you faced was not easy.
And God wept that it hurt you so;
But it was allowed to shape your heart
So that into his likeness you'd grow.

You are who you are for a reason,
You've been formed by the Master's rod.
You are who you are, BELOVED,
Because there is a GOD!
~ Russell Kelfer

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26


  1. I have to admit, the lock episode is pretty funny. I might be a good idea to keep an extra key hidden outside just in case you don't have your purse...maybe even a backdoor key. He sounds like he is doing much better. You too, sound liek you are oding well. You area able to see the humor in what happens. That is a gift from Father. I love you and rejoice with you in what Father is doing in and through you and Cale. May you fell a special touch of Father's grace this momment. Marion

  2. Love Cale's sense of humor shining through! I can see how getting locked out can be a bad thing, but then again, I think the Lord is allowing you to laugh and enjoy your husband! I'm so happy to hear that things are still changing, still healing -- God is doing a mighty work, indeed.
    Blessings to you both,

  3. It was interesting what you wrote about the questions he will ask. I am so excited though that he is thinking these things through and seems to be more aware of things than maybe before. Great progress, I think.
    Emily Jordan

  4. Thank you for sharing these precious details of your life as you and Cale continue to learn and grow, in God's hands. Totally teared up while reading the poem...beautiful.

  5. Thank you for sharing these precious details of your life as you and Cale continue to learn and grow, in God's hands. Totally teared up while reading the poem...beautiful. -Natalie


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