I find myself mourning us. Mourning me.
In no way am I saying that I don't love the man Cale has become or that i don't love the woman that I've been molded into...just that I miss us.
I miss who I was before trauma. I miss who I was before a severe brain injury joined our marriage.
I miss the simplicity of life.
I miss just being able to hang out with friends and time wasn't a big deal.
I miss when my conversations didn't always include my husband having a brain injury.
I miss the lightness in our relationship and the "normal" daily duties.
I miss who I was.
I miss who he was.
I miss who we were together.
Yet, again I must say that I miss him but still love him. I'm crazy about who he has become. And I'm amazed with the way God has formed me to be more like Him.
But the reality that the two people we were just a few years ago are now gone...
...it causes me to mourn for them.