Friday, September 30, 2016

Kayaks, puddles and a blue horse.

Summer is coming to an end. I think. Haha. 

We've moved out of the 90's here and the sky has been more gloomy...but yesterday Mama and I were working out in the garage and by the end of our little project we were dripping with sweat! Literally. I even lifted my shirt over my belly to get some air. Quite the site! 

In August, I was able to get away for one night with a friend a few hours away. This was sooooooooo needed! My brother and fam came to help Mama with Cale and Nora. I enjoyed every second with Hannah. It was the perfect trip other than not being long enough ;) 








And then just a couple weeks after, Mike and Rachel came to NC! It was the BEST. The week with them also didn't feel long enough. When Nora and I dropped them off at the airport, there were a lot-LOT of tears and a lot of wishing there weren't so many miles in-between us. 


This relationship these two had was...entertaining. 





You know there are tired kids when this is the face you get followed with, "he's touching my elbow!" 





Two of the cutest little doctors! 






This was the first time that Cale and I went out on the water kayaking without being at a sports clinic or having a therapist with us! The beginning was hilarious. We were supposed to take off in the same direction as Mike and Rachel but it was clear quickly that wasn't happening. We were headed the opposite direction in fact. Let's just say there was some marriage building taking place as we had to communicate and get ourselves in the right direction without tipping over. There were a few times I was whacked in the head while Cale tried to figure out the paddle...and I laughed so hard my sides ached. We started to get it figured out towards the end though! 


Mama watched the kiddos so we could have a date night! 


Nora went to a tea party with some friends! It was SO sweet. Leading up to go I was really trying to decide if it was going to be fun or one of those things that would be way more stressful and draining. I feel like this age you just never know. Well, I'm so thankful we went and gave it a try because we both enjoyed it and she did wonderful! 


Cale sent this to me one day...ha. 


With it cooling off just a tad, we've been taking more walks as a family! :)


We ended up with a hole in our wall. This isn't the first one from Cale but in the past it's been because of anger. This time it was because Cale was trying to be helpful since he knows I'm large with child. He was carrying down the laundry basket and crash. Thankfully the hole was the greatest damage. His elbow was scraped up but no other injuries. I'm thankful for his heart and desire to take care of us.


We took advantage of one of the rainy afternoons and went puddle jumping! Nora looooooves puddles and could probably jump in them all day long and be perfectly happy!


We've made it priority to get a date night in every week. We usually try for that in some way it just doesn't always happen. Because we know baby E is soon to arrive, we need to get these special times in! Some nights it's after Nora is in bed and we can eat snacks, laugh and play games...Cale last night said, "I love that we love each other." 
I love it too...


Sled hockey has been going well! This last week it ended up being a rough start. It was taking awhile to get on the ice. It's not like basketball where kids show up and you hand them a ball and tell them to start shooting. With sled hockey, every person needs to be fitted to the sled and helped on the ice. Some of the guys have their own sled and we'll save up for one but for now we'll use the ones available. This means Cale may end up with a sled that has too big of a bucket for him to sit in or the blades are different. It also means lots of waiting which can be difficult for him. 

I knew he was starting to get upset and I tried to help but of course had no clue what I was doing. The main guy helping everyone had his attention demanded in many directions-we were stuck. Cale finally blew up and yelled that we were leaving and took off. I quickly grabbed his hockey back and gathered my belongings. He was walking fast and he was mad. 

I felt frustrated and emotional. Thank you hormones. 

I followed after him and eventually was able to guide him to the car. We sat inside and I couldn't stop my tears. Cale looked confused and then asked why I was crying. Probably because it was a lot more of an ugly cry than fit the situation! haha. uh...

I talked with him a little about how much he loves this and how yelling he's never coming back can't be how he actually felt. 

After a little while he asked, "what do you want to do? go back inside?"

I didn't want to. 

I knew my eyes were puffy red and my face was splotchy. I was embarrassed and did not want to go back in there knowing everyone would be watching. 

Well, Cale was a bigger person than I was. He opened the door and headed back in. He doesn't always know or always remember when he's gotten mad or how it played out but he knew this time that he had made a scene. He knew he had messed up.

He still went back in. 

He apologized to the guys helping and ended up having a great practice. One of his best. 




I made sure on the way home to let him know how proud I was of him. I wouldn't have done it. I wouldn't have walked back in there. He amazes me sometimes at how he can walk back into a room the way he does when he knows that people may think differently of him and he keeps going.


Nora's friend Bella was over playing this week and I couldn't pass the opportunity to get this photo up! I just haaaaaaad to get it. He is such a good daddy! 


He also painted this horse for Easton! If you scroll back up to the picture of Nora and Owen riding the horses together, this is the one Owen was on. Our neighbors had given it to us for Nora but she already had one and we knew this would be perfect for E! Cale worked on this with his RS for a few days and I think it's perfect! 

----

Well...that is about all for now! I'm 36 weeks today so we are close to meeting our little dude. I've been picturing through the day, during different moments how it's going to be with a baby added...I'm pretty sure no matter how many times I play a scenario out in my head, I'm not going to be able to prepare myself for the change ahead! Yikes! 

We're so excited and can't wait to introduce you to him!!! 



Sunday, September 18, 2016

Thirty.

Thirty things Cale...

1. He's so so so funny & LOVES making others laugh.
2. He loves deeply.
3. He HATES being bored.
4. He loves the Detroit Red Wings.
5. He now also loves the Carolina Hurricanes.
6. He could eat out every meal and be perfectly happy.
7. He's SO excited about having a boy join our family.
8. He enjoys playing board games.
9. He tells his wife multiple times a day that she's beautiful. He never misses a day.
10. Candy, it's a food group.
11. He's the most honest person you'll ever meet.
12. He works hard when he has set his mind to something.
13. He's always willing to try the adventures his wife comes up with.
14. He's stubborn.
15. He makes the perfect horse for his sweet Nora to ride. 
16. He loves vanilla ice cream with caramel sauce.
17. He talks with random people in the check-out lane.
18. He loves puzzles (and puzzle games)...and he's pretty good at them.
19. He loved feeling Nora move while she was in my belly and he loves feeling Easton move.
20. He loves home.
21. He loves random funny shirts.
22. He loves sneaking up on people.
23. He loves playing sled hockey.
24. Friendship is important to him
25. He loves cereal or oatmeal for breakfast (or donuts of course!!)
26. He's good at making messes.
27. He says sleep is boring and a waste of time.
28. He's such a sweet daddy. He tries his hardest to figure out what that role looks like. 
29. He loves music.
30. He misses the Army.

Today Cale turned 30!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yikes.
Leading up to his birthday he was having a real hard time with this one. For him, he feels 16 still and sometimes he struggles with how he's old enough to be married and have a family...30 seems so much older than he thinks he is.  

I wanted it to be a super special birthday so we started 30 days ago giving him one gift a day and then he opened his final "big" gift today. He has really looked forward to this! I also planned a birthday weekend for him so he would have multiple days of fun. :)










It was complete with dinner out and a guys night of bowling. 
A trip to my brothers to celebrate lots of September birthdays!
A special birthday lunch...
...and a whole afternoon of fun driving golf carts and playing laser tag! 

Happy Birthday my handsome man. I love you to the moon and back! 30 can be your best year yet! Woot Woot! 

Friday, September 9, 2016

Bullet Points

My goal this week was to cross off everything on my to do list. 

That darn to do list.

I have many lists, but this list is on my phone and full of things that I actually really need to get done. So, I've been checking things off and hoping to have it complete by tomorrow! This week has gone nothing like I thought it would and the time that I had planned to use to get things done was spent with unexpected other things...you know, it's life. Ha. 


To post an update is on the list and the quickest way to get some updates on here is using the handy dandy bullet point method for each of us! 

Cale-

He is STILL drinking water. Yes. Yes. Yes. Typically it's about a half gallon a day...some days less but it's still happening and for this I am SO thankful!!!! 

I think at this point the gym issue has been worked out- THANK YOU LORD!!! One of you have filled in the gap when we didn't know how it was going to happen. I can not express enough of how thankful we are. What a witness as well as we've been able to share the story. SO cool. 

Cale is sooooooooo excited we're having a BOY and randomly through the night his hands will find my belly and he'll wake me up to ask if Easton is ok or just see if he can feel him. It's beautiful. Really. Some nights when he wakes me I want to hit him with my pillow but more times than not I just smile. He already cares so much. 

One night a friend was dropping me off. We had gone to see an outdoor movie. She pulled in the drive-way and we were talking. Cale had called and I let him know I was home. It was getting late but Mama hadn't sent a text saying anything was wrong so I was enjoying a visit. While we talked, Cale had sent a text to Temarie telling her that she needed to leave because Easton needed to be taken care of. He thought that if I was tired it couldn't be good for his son. 

We're still praying for friendship for Cale. This is something constantly on his mind and has been such a struggle the last few years.

This coming Sunday, Cale starts his first practice of Sled Hockey!!!!!!!!!!


This was one of the reasons we moved across the country-for this. For Cale to be able to play hockey again. He is SO excited!!! And during the trial of it, he did great! I wasn't sure knowing that a few years ago he needed someone to push him around on the ice while he sat in the sled. This time it was all him!! I was so proud and excited and overjoyed and well...every happy emotion! :)

Cale and I do this bit where we pretend we're 100 years old and he's so tall he can't bend to kiss me and I'm too short and can't stretch to kiss him. We talk in our shaky voices and laugh and laugh. Cale is hilarious. Way too hilarious. 

Mama-

This woman. I was thinking the other day about how we have Nora and now Easton on the way...I'm not sure it could have all happened without her. 

She has started selling all the fun goodies she makes. This has been a dream and it's so fun to see it all happen. I love getting to support her and encourage her to pursue this adventure!

She has also taken a position at the church. I have to say, if it were me and I had just moved across the country and joined a church where I didn't know hardly anyone, I would NOT have taken this position. She felt God leading her and she said yes...and I think she's brave. Haha. 

Nora-

She felt Easton kick! The moment wasn't anything like the sweet moment I had in my head. Ha! For awhile we tried getting her to try but she'd put her hand on my belly and immediately take it off and yell out, "I did it!" and then run off. Well, when she finally did actually feel him, she said he tickled her and then ran off. No big surprise face or anything to make the moment a big deal. She does already sing to my belly and give it kisses. She often talks to Easton or about him. The other day I ate a bite of her pasta. She asked where it went and I opened my mouth and asked her where she thought it went. She replied, "In your belly and Easton ate it!" 

She has started preschool!!!!!!! She goes just two days a week for 3 hours. She loves it! I knew she would but it's extra fun to see just how much she loves it!





My sweet Little Lady loves dinosaurs. She sleeps with her hard plastic ones every night. And anything dino makes her smile so big right now. I'm thankful I can't just go buy her a pet dinosaur because sometimes I think I would if I could. 

She also loves trains and trucks...and pretty pink sparkly shoes and dresses :)

Easton-

He's growing and healthy! 

He's already SO loved by this family.

He's due to come the end of October...I bought a little pumpkin hat yesterday which was my way of stating he'll be here before Halloween, but I'm not sure he's gotten the memo! ;)

Me-

I'm feeling great! Really. Somedays I'm a little more tired...or maybe a lot more tired but overall I've had a really good pregnancy. 

We've been really starting to talk about how another baby is actually going to be coming soon. It's hard to fully grasp. 

Cale and I talked last night about how we can't quite understand how we've gotten to this point. How have we gone through so so so much and we still get to have these two babies to raise?! We just can't believe it. Life is no where near perfect or how we imagined it to be but with this little guy on the way, it causes us to pause more often and be so thankful that not only do we have one beautiful sweet girl, we're going to have a little boy as well. Wow. 

Nora woke from her nap and we need to get to a tea party so I'm going to wrap this up but before I go, I wanted to respond in this post to a comment that was left. 

I feel as there is no way in the world that I can express and describe the full picture of our life. I could more easily sit with a cup of coffee and you and answer any question you have as I'm always an open book-sometimes I've been known to be too open ;) but to write out from post to post about how things are going and where we're at and how I feel and the emotions we go through and the ups and the downs and all the adventures...there's just no way to make it clear on here. I try when I write to first pray that the Holy Spirit would lead in whatever it is that I need to post. Sometimes I get on to post something specific and it ends up going a totally different way than I had expected. sometimes it's quick posts that maybe don't say too much and sometimes I don't go into all the details of a situation because I'm protecting my husband. 

All that to say, the comment mentioned how it seems I resent Cale or that I see him as a stranger compared to how he was before. 

My response, is first, I hope that through some of my vulnerability and the painful truth of what we live you know that I love my man. I love him intensely. It looks very different now than even 3 years ago. We've walked out some rocky challenging paths. I've been in tears and at a loss more days than I would like to say and because of the way brain injury is so much a part of our life, we can have some frustrating and difficult days but I don't resent him

I'm constantly trying to find ways to be intentional in our marriage and giving him more time and encouraging him more and being the wife he needs. This can be exhausting. Hard. And often, I mess up. I do. Or I make it to where I'm trying so hard and investing so much that when something comes up that shouldn't be, I let my emotions win. 

I also will say that yes. As much as I love Cale now and as much as I see him as my husband as he is now, he is very very different from when I married him. And although change is normal in two people, especially two people that married at 18, this kind of change is a little more dramatic. I do talk to Cale about this. I try my hardest not to hold who he was before up in front of him as though he's missing the mark. We've had to really grow and learn each other as his memory of me is not reliable for him. Things he thinks I love are somehow in his head from knowing someone else loves them...but he tries his hardest as well. 

Brain injury is just...well, weird. 

It can make for some amazing moments and in the same day some really low moments but we keep chugging a long trying to figure it all out! 

Does that all make sense?

I'm so thankful for each of you that are still on this journey with us and please let me know whether in the comments or through the email whatever questions you have or if there's something that I do a terrible job of making clear that you just don't understand. 


We're off but hopefully soon I can get a moment and post about a few other fun things that have happened recently!