All the Feels

It's February. 

And not just February...it's February and almost OVER. Whoa. 

I've been meaning to post. I really have. I'm not going to lie, life in January was not easy and not how I expected it to go. Which, is it ever? 

It wasn't terrible. Nothing super dramatic- just not my fav.

I'll share some with you though :) 

January always starts with my birthday! Woohoo! 

I'm so thankful for ALL of the people in my life to celebrate with! 

We have been playing in the creek a LOT and we always love it! Recently some friends from church have been in the woods and my kiddos run out and join the fun. I loooooove this so much. 

How do I start this part? Hmm... 

1. I had some time with two of my favorite people. When Cale deployed 2 months after we moved to NY, Julie and Melissa became my instant family. I have never thought of them any other way. Getting to have the gift of TIME with them was a dream. 

2. I ran a half. Well...I started it. Julie and Melissa were on the side and I ran past waving and cheering and SO excited. 

About mile three my right knee twisted and I went down. This has happened before in a race but this time I was determined to keep going-nope. I wasn't able to put any weight on it. Thankfully I fell right by a police officer directing traffic. I scooted to the side and watched as runners ran by. Every wave of people someone would yell out, "you ok?" and keep running. I called Julie and Melissa to come get me... I called Mama and let her know. Tears came to the surface. I was so defeated. 

I sent out texts to a few friends that knew I was running. 

A couple women stopped to help me get to the police car. They both declared they didn't care about their time and made sure I got across the road. 

The EMT that came to help looked at me at one point and in the kindest way asked how I was doing. I took a deep breath and an exaggerated exhale before responding, "Honestly, I think my pride is bruised." 

It's hard when you train and put time into a race not to be able to cross the finish. Truly, I shouldn't have been running though. A couple weeks before that, my left knee went out and I didn't heal long enough. 

I tried so hard not to let it cloud over my time with Julie and Melissa but it did. I felt terrible that both of them traveled to meet me and we didn't get to adventure out as much as we planned. They were both so sweet and we made sure to eat a lot and talk even more :) 

I came home with a knee that hurt so badly. Both of them were actually killing me. A few days later I went to get them checked out and was told that I would need surgery within a few years AND running was going to be out for me- you guys. This was hard. Hard. 

I've since gotten an MRI and spoke with a different doctor and it looks like I have work to do BUT running will be in my future (insert all the praise hands).

I mean... guys. Cuteness. 

These two are BEST buds. I love them! They put on their swimsuits and played in bubbles, dressed up and played in sand...and so many more things. 

I went on a date with this dude. :) I was craving this smoothie after having it with LeAnne on my birthday. SO good. 

Nora has been going to quite a few birthday parties! One of them had face painting! 

Our friends gave us tickets to a Hurricanes game! This was Nora's first game! It was a blast!! It was so fun to go with her and see her excitement for something her daddy loves so much. 

These friends are sweet gifts in our life! Our school schedule is different and we miss them like crazy when they're tracked out! 

A few years ago Cale and I made a challenge to go on a date every single week. It didn't have to cost money and it didn't have to mean leaving our house- just time for us to be together and for him to have my full attention. It was so good for us. Recently I had started noticing some things Cale was saying that didn't sit right. Typically, Cale is very much in the moment. He will tell you he NEVER gets cold if it's hot outside. If his stomach hurt this morning but not at the moment, his stomach is perfectly fine and never hurts. 

If we have an argument over something, he'll tell you we always argue. A pattern though in some things he was saying and doing made me start to think about how in our home, I really want him to feel loved and special. I want him to know he's important. 

So...the first week of January, we started our weekly dates again. I enjoy them and I know he does too.Milkshakes make everything better, don't they? :)

We had our preschool ball! Nora is now the older sister who came to enjoy the fun! This is always a blast! Our preschool puts so much effort into making it a really special night. 

It was too much for Cale. He went because he really REALLY wanted to dance with Nora during the Father-Daughter dance. Because of his head, he just couldn't...his heart was so sweet though! 

At the end of the dance, the kids had their faces painted. When we got home, I caught Easton in the bathroom giggling at the frog on his face! 

My SUPER talented SIL made this image for us!

The issue with my knee and being told I couldn't run anymore was so difficult. Maybe it seems like a silly thing but I truly love running. I won't always run- I know my body will want to stop at some point but not yet. It's not an idol in my life but it is a good gift. I had a lot of thoughts wrapped up in processing my response to all that happened.

The end of January Mama had knee surgery. For weeks prior she would have many days that she wasn't able to walk...and then surgery and now recovery. It's been full. I won't go on and on about it but caring for her and everything else has been a lot. It's a joy to care for her though. 

All January and still, Cale's head has hurt him at some point every day in a very intense way and is usually joined with dizziness. This has happened before but after a couple weeks, it goes away. Not this time. 

It makes things a lot more challenging in our home. 

We've gotten it checked out and actually yesterday he had an MRI. Please be praying we can figure out what is causing this and what is the best way to help. 

There are other random things that have been difficult as well.

Life can be hard and heavy. I can't post on here as if I haven't emotionally struggled through the first month of this new decade. It went nothing like I had planned BUT I live a life surrendered to Jesus. This makes all the difference. It does. It really does.

I have spent so much time listening to Jesus while I'm soaking in truth to combat all of the overwhelming thoughts that swirl. 

My everyday life is being lived with Jesus as I go about normal parts of my day and events that I didn't expect. 

I am in conversation with Him because He's a part of my days. I'm talking with Him and sharing the burdens with Him. I'm sharing the joys with Him and allowing myself to laugh with Him because He knows every crazy thought I have. I know I make Him laugh as well.

January was hard and good and left me with all the feels. 

Last week I planned (with LOTS of help!!!) a SURPRISE celebration for Cale. A friend took pictures for me (SO thankful!!!) and after he gets them to me, I'll share about that! 

Also...this blog has been going for 10 years!!!!

Isn't that crazy?? 

I know many of you have been here since the beginning- I am so so so thankful you're still here.