I’m not sure where to start with all the thoughts running through my head. It’s been over two weeks since the accident and part of me feels like this will never end. Cale and I have such a special relationship that I know when this all ends it’s just going to get better. A lot of times people joke and say we make them sick because of how we are with each other. On March 17th Cale and I will be married for 5 years! Since we’ve been married he’s been deployed twice, the first deployment ended up being 16 months and the second was this last year. Those times that we weren’t together were so hard, but for us, anytime that we’re not together we have a hard time with it. When he’s at work we even text each other and still can’t wait for him to get home so we can be together again. Some people have said it’s only because he’s been gone so much on deployment but it’ll all change once he’s home for good. Well, there aren’t too many marriages that I know of that make it through army life. It’s a hard life being gone from each other so much. I’m not saying this all just to babble but to say, that through all the hard stuff we’ve had to face, which for us, him going off to Basic and AIT and then through his two deployments, God was God through all of it. None of those times were fun for us but our life was created for more than just the two of us being together and being happy. Our life was created to love God and love people and do His will. The accident was not in our plans, that’s for sure! But, through it God is still God. The doctor that talked to me the night of the accident about Cale, said that he was in critical condition. I didn’t really know what that meant, I just wanted to see him. When I finally was allowed to see him, my heart fell out of my chest and onto the floor. There was my happy, energetic, crazy, loving, husband, lying there lifeless. From that moment that I took the chair by his bed and stayed all that night until morning when they kicked me out, and even now, I’ve been covered in God’s peace. I didn’t know what the outcome was going to be but I knew 100% that Cale belonged to God and not to me. The doctor later told me that if he would have told me what he was thinking that night, he would have said Caleb wasn’t going to make it. Just this last Tuesday, I’ve had another doctor come talk to me about how right now we’re doing good to encourage him but in 6 months he might still be in this condition, and we may have to look at different options. Later that afternoon is when, for the first time Cale lifted his arms and moved his thumb when the nurse asked him to! Later on the respiratory therapist said that sometimes when the scans show theres nothing, surprises happen. The nurse said Cale might be a miracle. None of the doctors here were expecting Cale to get this far, especially this quickly! My prayer from the beginning, along with so many others it that Cale would have a quick and full recovery! The reason doctors say that you just never know with a brain is because God works unexplainable miracles.
It’s hard for me to wake up in the morning because when I’m dreaming at night, Cale is awake and we’re happy and playful again. It’s hard for me to say good night to him and leave the hospital at night because I want to stay with him, by his side, all the time. I still have a hard time with not understanding why he’s in a coma and I’m totally fine. I think about how we wanted to start our family and start our new life and I get frustrated that we can’t do it right now. I do know that even with all of it, God is still God and I find my strength in the love letters that God created for me to read and I can feel His arms wrap around me.
My prayer is that Cale’s recovery would not just be another story of someone else surviving a wreck or severe brain injury but that God’s power and name would be so visible in every part of this like I see. We will have victory in Jesus name!
Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand. Isaiah 41:10