Today is a new day! Yesterday, was hard. It was hard looking into the face of so many people that were saying that for the rest of my husbands life, he might be like this. My husband. The man who is supposed to take care of me, hold me when I'm sad, laugh with me, protect me, and miss me when we're apart. He's the man that's supposed to look at me and say I'm beautiful, say I love you. What precious sweet words. Cale and I want kids so bad, we were just starting to try. Ugg. The thought of growing old alone while Cale spends the rest of his life...this way...my heart...HE IS ENOUGH. It just felt like suddenly we were running out of time. 5 weeks and then the fight might be all over? God do you realize we're running out of time-yikes! Silly me! God doesn't run on my time or the doctors! He's outside of time!
I did this morning what I've done every morning since February 11, I've surrendered the day to the Lord. It might be hard, it might be a really good day, only He knows and either way, it's His. Since Cale and I got married, I've wanted to be the best wife that I could. Through all the time that he was deployed, I always asked God to help me be the best wife that I could be for him through it. Nothing has changed, I want to be the best wife for Cale that I can be, even if this is the way things are going to be. I'm realizing it's a possibility, even more now then before, BUT I'm not forgetting that God has Cale in His victorious right hand.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28
Thank you everyone for all of your encouragement. I needed to hear it all. I needed to be reminded before I closed my eyes for the night that it's not too late. God is in control and He's doing amazing things in my life, and Cale's. Thank you!