Well, the report said 1 week. That's right on track and because the Army stuff isn't figured out it'll be longer then that. I had my hopes up that because of the few things Cale did new this week it was going to be enough to extend him in the program. I'm just so glad the Army doesn't have everything figured out because that means he's not in a nursing home yet. The report did say that Cale did some swallowing which is better then it saying none like before! Something not good was his weight went back down to 116. He wasn't very friendly today, every time I tried to get close or hold his hand, he didn't want to have anything to do with me so I sneak him kisses on the cheek a lot :)
I've been thinking a lot about if things do stay this way, what does that mean for me? A woman, especially a married woman, has certain needs. I need to hear my husband say I'm pretty and that he love me. I feel like I miss the attention from him a lot lately. I know that might sound selfish because he's going through so much right now, but it's there, in the deep part of my heart. Every time I see a lady pregnant, a baby, or a parent with their child, I get a horrible painful ache in my gut. It can be simple things too, like, seeing a cute outfit that normally I would be excited to wear for Cale, or a yummy recipe that I know he would love, so many times a day I'm reminded that I may never get to share any of it with him again. Well, this morning I was walking past the court yard and saw a bird finding it's food on the ground and the Lord put on my heart Matthew 6:25-27
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"
God's not only going to provide food and clothes for me, but also the emotional needs I have too. Of course I'm going to be missing Cale and longing for his attention because that's how God created it! That's part of marriage. He takes care of everything the birds need and He's going to do the same for me, even the things in my heart that nobody else can see.
For the first part of the day birds were a happy thought for me, this was of course until I left the hospital for the night and a bird had decided to poop on my windshield, on the drivers side! Haha!
I have the hearing tomorrow for guardianship. I'm praying my emotions stay controlled...at least until I make it to the car!