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Monday, August 23, 2010

applesauce...of course not!

Some things will never change. When Cale was in ICU, and we were still expecting the "wake up", I had been told that sometimes after brain injuries, the person heals, liking different foods, music, activities, and things like that. Well, one of my jokes (yes, I still had silly jokes, even in ICU!) was that maybe when Cale woke up, I could tell him that he LOVES salad and veggies-everything healthy! TJ and Joe would joke and say, we needed to put Mt Dew and donuts in his IV...bad boys-that's not healthy! Cale (for those of you that don't know him), will almost NEVER touch anything that comes even close to being good for you, well, I take that back, he did like lots of fruit...but usually would add sugar! In fact, after the accident, one of the soldiers he was deployed with commented on how Cale would just sit and eat a container of frosting-gross! But, I love him still...

In ST, Patricia wanted to try some more eating because Friday was so great. I have been hoping, wishing, praying, and whatever else people do, that today would be just as great with swallowing as Friday (or better!). The session didn't start off too great. When Patricia first came, she told Cale that she was out of pudding, but she had applesauce, yogurt, thickened juice, or jello. First try, applesauce; yucky face and then out it came. Second attempt, thickened juice; yucky face and then out it came. Third attempt, offered yogurt; head shake "no". Patricia said "pudding?" Cale nodded "yes" and off she went to hunt some down! It was so funny for me to sit and watch this. He is STILL a picky eater! That stinker! She returned with vanilla pudding and he ate about half :) That part wasn't as good as Friday, but after that she tried some water, which, usually they have to have thickened liquids before but Cale did great! As long as she would ask him to close his mouth and swallow, he did so good! The forth try with water, she wanted to see if he could do it by himself, but that's when he ended up coughing. Even with a rough start, it ended up being a very successful session!

Later this afternoon a special visitor came! Kevin Edwards came to see Cale. This was Cale's closest friend in NY. They were deployed together and pretty much spent every moment together the whole year! Even when they got back, they still wanted to hang out! :) haha! It was fun getting to hang out with both of them the month before we left Drum. It was good to see his face for me and for Cale. This morning, I told Cale, Edwards was coming and asked if he remembered him. Cale nodded yes so I asked him to point to him out of all the pictures and Cale pointed right to him. When Edwards walked in Cale's room, Cale's eyes got big and he waved hi, then of course came the hug! So sweet...I feel it was extra special because since the accident, Cale has now seen his brother, TJ, and great!

We played a fun game of Chutes and Ladders. Cale was laughing through the whole game!

Cale was about to give him bunny ears :)

Still so silly...

When I was growing up, we always had a picture hanging in the kitchen that said "I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it." -Jesus. My dad used to point this out to me all the time, and with some things that I went through with my parents, that would always come back to me. After all these years (I say that like I'm 50!), that's been coming back to me in a whole new way. Some times when I really sit and think about all that is happening and all Cale is going through, I get so frustrated. Katie and I went to dinner the other night (ended up not going to Great America) and I was telling her about a conversation I had with Rachel back in March (I think) about how at times I felt like Cale is so cheated, our marriage is so cheated. I know that through this, we have become so much stronger as husband and wife, but at a time when I see a couple being so sweet with each other and getting to do fun and great things, I'm not thinking about how this is strengthening our marriage, I'm thinking about how I miss my husband the way he was. It's hard. I'm so blessed that I can laugh with him and cuddle with him now! I love it sooo much!! Anyways, it's not easy. This whole journey hasn't been EASY, but God never promised me it would be. I just need to keep trusting, believing, and holding onto ALL of God's promises and that one day this will all be worth it, if I choose to let him take the wheel. Already so many amazing blessings has come out of this 'not so great situation' and I know so many more are to come. There will be beauty instead of ashes!

"and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor." Isaiah 61:3

My alarm that I wake up to every morning is Rita Springer "Worth It All" -such a good song!


  1. "Worth it all" is my favorite of all favorite songs...
    miss you and love you and YOU and your man are on my heart all the time!!!

  2. Kathleen, I'm sure you've already heard it, but your post made me think of the song, "If You Want Me To" by Ginny Owens. I think this will take you to it (if not, just do a google search if you like, it's pretty easy to find): 1d87ab82b7aabd4be9086ab3f79ab9bc All our love, Bonnie Bennett


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