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Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Longing for home

This morning started with an early appointment at the main hospital. It was a mixed emotions kind-an even mix of hard/sad and encouraging/exciting. The appointment was with a neurologist, one of the many appointments during the Med Board (the process Cale has to go through for them to finish his time in the Army) process. I wasn't really prepared for what it was going to be like, I was going thinking the doctor was going to do a few tests on him to see where he's at. Instead, the Neurologist asked me a series of questions, causing me to give details of the accident, events at the beginning, different medications, and all of the details up until now. That in itself is hard, but I've gotten to a point that I've talked about it so much that I can do it with out tears...but Cale had to sit and listen. He had to listen to me talk about all of the things he can't do, struggles with, and barriers in his progress. It was killing me to answer every question and have him hear how he can't do all of these things and he has trouble with so much. The details of all of it. On the other hand, it was so great to be able to answer her on some cases of things that Cale used to not be able to do a few months ago, but is doing so great at now! Some things that he had such a problem with before, he now has gone way passed those mountains. It was a reminder that yes, Cale does still have lots against him, but look how far he's come!

A couple hours after that appointment, Cale had an Ophthalmology appointment. So far these haven't been very successful because he won't keep his eyes open long enough, but today they were able to get a good look in both eyes and did an ultrasound on both eyes, and after it was over, they said from what they can see, there is no sign of optical nerve damage...what?! For those of you that haven't read or don't remember, Right after the accident, we were told that Cale's left optical nerve was damaged and those nerves don't regenerate. For the first several months after the accident, I was told that he would most likely have no vision out of that eye. We discovered he had vision, but weren't sure how much, and now, that's the eye he uses the most. Well, either they were incorrect when they saw the damage, or God worked yet another miracle!

Parts of the brain are Frontal Lobe, Parietal Lobe, Occipital Lobes, Temporal Lobes, Brain Stem, and Cerebellum. Cale has damage all over. With his vision I was told today that the Occipital Lobes, because of their location are not easily damaged, but severe trauma to the brain (which Cale has) can cause subtle changes to our visual-perceptual system. Along with this and Cale not having complete control over his right side, causes his right eye to relax and move up. His vision therapist is thinking that when both eyes are open, his brain may be blocking any information it receives because his eyes aren't working together. The good news is that because it's not optical nerve damage, his brain can re-wire and his sight may be something eventually that will be restored to least I'm praying!

That's the end of my note taking this afternoon ;)

Cale has been saying frequently in the last two days that he wants to go home and that he's sad because he's here (hospital). He still has a really good attitude and so far it's not affecting his therapy's, but, I know he's so badly wanting to go home. Here I am, his wife, celebrating that we get to stay here for a couple more months and my poor husband just wants to get to Washington and be home. Please be praying specifically for this. I've continued to remind him of why we're here and how it's such a good thing for him. That's nothing compared to the feeling of going home though! It's totally understandable for him to not want to be in a hospital (I sure don't want to be anymore!) and again, shows he's more aware that this isn't normal, but for now it's what he needs. Please pray against depression and against it getting in the way of his therapy's!!

3) I'm so thankful for time. Time that I had getting to know Cale and the time we had together being married before the accident. I'm thankful that I've had the time to sit with him and be with him through his recovery. I'm thankful that we're so young and have lots of time in front of us to learn our new life together. I'm thankful that we have more time here at the facility (even though Cale's not so happy about it!). I'm thankful for all the time that my family and friends have sacrificed to spend by my side this last year. I'm thankful that the Lord has a perfect time and plan for every step and that I don't have to worry. I'm thankful for everyone that takes time out of their day to read my babbles and to pray for us. It means so much to me!


  1. Oh Kathleen, your words have a way of tugging at my heart strings. I think of all that you have been through over the past year, and here I am getting encouragement from you! You have a way with writing, and wording things, that really just speaks to me, as I'm sure it does to many others.Our prayers are with you and Cale. We will pray specifically in the areas you asked for. God hears our prayers, and when the Doctors are stumped as to how Cale's vision was restored, we can just say thankyou Lord, thankyou for all that you have done, and continue to do!
    God Bless!
    Tammy B.

  2. Your faith is so strong and you are so strong for Cale. Don't let doubt get in your way and rebuke those thoughts that bring you down. Continue to focus on how far he has come as you mentioned. I'm praying, praying praying. You are a wonderful witness. This isn't the road map you planned for your life but you are picking up the pieces and walking in faith that no matter what, it's all going to be all right. Your life is a living testimony of love, deep love, living your wedding vows to the fullest. You set an example for the rest of us to love unconditionally no matter what comes our way. You set an example to treasure each and every day for it can all change so fast. Walk in confidence you are a beautiful child of God and a wonderful wife. Be encouraged by the prayers of many. I don't even know you and I am so proud of you both. Selfless servants defines you both. Cale for his sacrifice to serve our country. I have such a heart of gratitude for that alone. You are a selfless wife to devote your entire life to his care. God Bless.

  3. My Friend, My heart cries with you about Cale hearing what he can't do. Yet, isn't it so, he doesn't remember things for a great long time, A mercy from Father at this point. I will trust with you Cale's attitude is top notch, and that you feel and walk in the strength of the Lord. Much love, Marion Hansen Father appreciates your thankfulness.

  4. that sounds great about his eyes.i know it was hard for you to talk in front of cale,but maybe hearing it will make him stronger and heal quicker.who knows:)love ya

  5. Dear Kathleen,
    I am sorry my friend to say that I feel I must correct you. Your writings are not "babblings"!
    YOU have a gift for writing! I look forward to reading Cales accomplishments and I am transported there with you! I cheer his progress just as I am positive all who are following your blog do! : D
    YOU with your gift for writing have made me feel closer to you and I now care very deeply for your husband, whom I have yet to meet.
    I pray for both of you every night.
    THANK YOU Kathleen, for your writings!
    All my LOVE,
    Lorri C.


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