Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Held

With my puffy eyes, I walked to the hospital this morning. It was so great walking into 7D, rather than the main hospital. I had no idea what the day was going to be like, but I knew that today was the day that the Lord made and I was determined to rejoice in it! It didn't hurt that it was beautiful out! ;)

It was another hard day as far as emotions. I tried to show him all the comments that were left for him on the 4th, but it didn't go quite as I had imagined it. He's just mad.

Cale did great in PT! Pat had him walk to the gym with out holding on to anything, and even with him being out for almost a week, he was able to do it! I am so proud of him! Since he's a little on the edge, he wasn't pushed too much today, which is ok because he's still pretty tired.

I'm stepping out, my hand is in Yours, and I'm not going to fear. You lead the way; my eyes are closed. I will not fall because You Lord, are holding me up! I praise You for every breath; for every step! I trust You.

My eyes are fighting to stay open, so this is going to be a short update. I wanted to share a song that has encouraged me so much in the past and then again tonight. When I'm having a hard day, I don't feel good, or I'm really sad about something, Cale has always been able to just hold me. In his arms I've always felt so safe and could always feel everything slip off my shoulders. When he has been deployed, I have always been able to picture myself walking up to Jesus and saying, "Hold me." Even though Jesus isn't sitting in front of me in a human body, I have always felt satisfied with just the picture in my heart. He always holds me! Right now, Cale can still hold me, but it's not the same the last couple days. He's angry and can't comfort me like before.

There's so much going on right now...we just finished up the surgery, Cale's going through this hard stage, I'm over tired, we're getting ready to move to another hospital, and I'm having to work through Army stuff. Sigh. I know that most of everyone that reads this blog, has something they're going through too. Something is going on in your life that leaves you with the desire to crawl up on Daddy's lap and be held. He wants to. He longs to hold you. He wants to hold you! Dear friends, take a big breath and allow the Lord to wrap His arms around you and hold you, no matter what you're facing right now...

7 comments:

  1. I love this song - were you at the women of faith when Natalie was there? She sang that song - I am so sorry Kathleen that life isn't what it was, but I know that He who is faithfull has a plan bigger than what you or Caleb can see. A future with a bright promise (Jer 29:11) I also know the need to be held, I pray that the hugs that we send you the Father engulfs you with today.
    Caleb is grieving his loss, even if he doesn't totally understand all that he has lost he is grieving what he does and does not understand, anger is a part of that - I am sorry you have to bear this burden but I also know that you do not carry it - God does if you continue to give it to Him - which I can see you are doing daily! Grieve with him who has lost and rejoice with him who rejoices - right now grieve with Caleb he needs that as well as you, but soon you will be rejoicing at what the Lord has done! Praying for you !!!! Love you ((((())))
    Reenie

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  2. Thank you for sharing the song. Father's timing, for sure!!! I love you, Marion

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  3. Kathleen,
    This too shall pass. It will, believe me. You have a lot on your shoulders and He is right there leading and guiding you and you are doing a GREAT job of following. Numbers 6:24-26
    Vicky Scott

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  4. What a beautiful reminder that he holds us,,,He holds you and He is holding Cale.
    Praying for you! Love, Kimberly

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  5. Your post has brought tears to my eyes these last few days. You have been physically & emotionally tested for so long. But Kathleen........"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you." (Deut. 31:6)

    Listen & be encouraged! Your God is with you and is faithful!! HOLD FAST.......
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWejcH0JWTc

    Love & continual prayers for you & Cale!!
    Judy Jay (Dryden, NY)

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  6. Hi Kathleen, my heart feels for you. You are a strong courageous person, and this has been a long journey I hope your next move well be for the better for both you and Cale. Love that song.
    You are always in my prayer. I'm so happy that you keep us up to date on what is going on. May God Bless You!

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  7. The Bensons1/20/11, 7:23 PM

    Oh my girl. What I wouldn't give to hold you and hug you and comfort you. I am so sorry that you and Cale are going through this. He must be so frustrated. I cry out for you and pray for your strength. I love this song ...especially the line where she said " No One said it would be easy." I know without a shadow of a doubt that God will give you all you need to make it through this trial.
    I found this today in a book I am reading by Joni Erickson Tada and it is called " God's Loving Care"
    English Sparrows. They're worth barely a penny, Jesus said so. Yet of the worlds nine thousand bird species, Jesus singled out the least- noticed and most insignificant of birds to make a point.
    If God takes time to keep tabs on every sparrow- who it is, where it's going, whether or not it's needs are being met- then surely He keeps special tabs on you.Immediately. Personally. And with every detail in mind.
    The Bible may point to eagles to underscore courage and power, and it may talk about doves as symbols of peace and contentment. But God's Word reserves sparrows to teach a lesson about trust. Just as God tenderly cares for a tiny bird, even making note of when it is harmed, or when it falls to the ground, He gently reminds you that He is worthy of your greatest trust, your deepest confidence.

    Have faith little on. He has His eye on you both and cares so much for you. Trust in Him to never let you down and to ALWAYS do what is best.
    We love you.
    Charlie and Jean

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