Another day of lots of sunshine! We have to get as much sun as we can get before we leave for Seattle! Only 2 weeks left here...uh...yikes! I keep saying that I'm going to be crying and Cale's going to be doing a happy dance! :)
After OT and PT (both good sessions!), we spent about 2 hours in the garden. I brought out our Ipod for some good tunes (instead of all the one's I make up!), and of course a deck of cards! I love that before the accident, playing games was such a big thing for us and it still is! We were always playing something together, and several times we would stay up really late into the night playing. For awhile we just sat and talked. It's mostly me that does all the talking, but I'm not sure that has changed any!
For lunch there was a football party with lots of food! Cale had pizza so he was a happy man! We didn't watch any football, but we did play Yahtzee with another patient. Next, we went outside so Cale could play ball with Kovin. Last time he played ball with Kovin, he was in his wheelchair the whole time...not today!
He stood the whole time they played and then he was daring enough to get on the tandem bike with me again. It was so much fun! Before, Cale would only last a short time because he would get tired so easily. Every time I asked him today if he wanted to stop, he would say, "No, let's go!" Before we had finished our first lap, I said, "My legs are burning! Are yours?" C: "Nope" K: "Don't you feel the muscles in your legs working so hard?" C: "Not really." Darn. I am out of shape...haha!We went for a good amount of time and I managed to last! I'm going to have to invest in one of those bikes. They are too much fun!
After our bike ride, Cale ran a couple errands with me. One of our stops was Target. I was so proud of him because usually when we go out, we take his wheelchair unless it's something that we're going to sit right away. He can use his walker, but his legs get tired really fast. I thought it was risky because he had just worked his legs on the bike, but I want him to get to a point of walking longer distances. Why not give it a try? He walked all around the store with me! By the time we left, he was exhausted but he stayed with me the whole time, even when I offered to let him sit and take a break.
I also found a picture for when we get our own house. I know it might be silly to be buying stuff for a house that we don't have, but, I'm praying eventually we'll have one, and, well, I'm a girl. That's my only excuse! It's kind of like buying baby clothes before your pregnant...right? I know I'm not the only one that has done that!!
This picture was perfect for what the Lord has been working on my heart about...
The last two days have been amazing with Cale. Perfect. We've had other good days before, but my heart has been through a little class about loving Cale-with all of me. If you have read anything I've written on this blog, I hope that you can see that I love my husband. I'm crazy about him! Cale kissed me the other day and I realized something. I haven't been kissing Cale like I should be kissing him. Huh? Try to follow me...while my lips were sealed so sweetly with Cale's, a thought occurred to me. If all of a sudden Cale was 100% back to himself, how would I be kissing him? As many times as I have told myself, and even written on here, about how I'm learning to love Cale how he is now, and how I have fallen deeply in love with him (with the TBI), and how he still takes my breath away, I'm still holding back. There is a chunk of my brain that is still expecting and waiting for Cale to be 100% better and back to how he was before the accident. I realize that I've been praying for full recovery (and that's not a bad thing), but I can't miss the now. I can't! I think part of me is still thinking of Cale as a different person and I can't fully give myself to this Cale because the other Cale is still coming back...am I making any sense?
Every time Cale kisses me, he doesn't just kiss me. All of his kisses are so full of passion. Even just a peck, he grabs my face or the back of my head. He holds me tight and really kisses me. I of course kiss him, and again, I love him so much, but I cheat him when I continually reserve myself for what is yet to come. Through our whole marriage, I've been in a wrestling match with learning to live in the moment. Cale and I have had so many late night talks about it. We were both constantly waiting for the next thing. He was gone on deployments so much so we were always waiting for him to come home, for us to be together. Then we waited for us to be out of the Army and start a family...always waiting on the future to happen. We worked really hard on trying to remember to enjoy every day. I don't want to continue our marriage waiting for him to be restored. The Lord has blessed us more than our human minds can grasp by allowing us to still have every day together. We praise His name for every ounce of healing that has happened with Cale and that can't be forgotten. God didn't make a promise to me the night of the accident that He was going to give Cale back to me in a perfectly wrapped gift with a pretty bow on top-but, He did give him to me.
It was like a light bulb being turned on inside of me. Once that happened, I've had two tender loving days with him. Cale has still had his hard moments and it hasn't been all flowers and rainbows, but it's been real and that is the sweetest gift I could ever ask for.
Now do you see why I had to buy a picture for a house I don't even have?!
I also couldn't help but think about how many times do I cheat the Lord? His love is full of passion and blessings for me. He desires me with eyes that are only for me. When I go before the throne in prayer, or read my Bible, am I all there? Is my focus on the moment sitting at my Father's feet and wrapped in His arms, or am I looking ahead to what the day will bring me? I know the answer and it hurts to admit it...
After all of that, my day ended with going to the movies with Kristen. I have been wanting to see Tangled since I first saw previews! One night after it had first come out, I had myself a little pity party because I didn't have any friends here to see it with. Uh...yes I do! Kristen! :) Just for the record, I loved the movie. I thought it was great! I felt like I need to be wearing a dress with flowers in my hair. Since I'm in bed about to drift to sleepy land, I figured that wasn't very practical. While I got ready for bed, I couldn't help but throw a few twirls in my routine... :)
Us with our very cool 3D glasses!