Sunday, February 27, 2011

Hard day for Mr. Darling :(

This morning our friends picked us up and we attended church at Mars Hill. I was interested to see how Cale was going to do with loud music because Linn had said there were drums and guitars. Before the accident, this was Cale’s style completely, but his toleration has changed a little…

I asked him during one of the songs how it was for him and he said he loved it! He especially loves the songs with clapping! :)

After church we went to a really yummy little place to eat and then they helped us get a few things we needed. One of them was a battery for Cale’s talking watch! So…this watch that I forgot to mention on here is really neat! Cale had a really hard time trying to figure out the time on his other watch, part of the reason was because it was too small, but also because he either mixed up the numbers or wasn’t able to figure out where the hands pointed. Corry, his vision therapist in Palo Alto gave him this talking watch that has two buttons. One of them says what time it is and the other says the date. I always tease Cale that he’s a secret agent! ;)

This watch has become a huge part of Cale’s orientation. Every time Cale is asked what time it is, or he’s trying to figure out what day, this last week, he’s reached for the buttons on the watch that wasn’t there! It was disappointing when we made the trip to the store the other day and weren’t able to get it fixed. Thankfully Eric did some messing around with it today, and now it’s working again! Yay!

One of the packages I received the other day was a Bingo game! Revellie the ministry in Palo Alto sent us Bingo so we could continue to play together. I think when I opened it the other day, Cale didn’t realize what it was because he saw it today and was so excited! Of course, we had to play a game today! Cale was the caller and I worked his board and mine. Out of the four of us, Cale’s board got the first Bingo. I realized once he had the bingo that we didn’t have a prize. When I said that, Cale said, “A kiss from you!” Heehee! I was willing to give that prize! We played one more round and Cale won again! It was funny since I was the one marking his board…

Here is us with Eric and Linn :)



Today Cale is mad. He woke up mad and it hasn’t changed. I was hoping that going to church and getting away from the hospital was going to help, but it didn’t. He’s still very mad. There were a few points today that he seemed a little more cheerful (mostly through Bingo!), and that’s about it. I've been trying to pray with him about it, but I think he was just having a really bad day.

It was hard not to get mad back at him this evening. It was just us here and he was being so miserable. I was getting frustrated because I'm tired too. I'm worn out and emotionally exhausted too! I'm sick of being in a hospital and living a life that feels so temporary and never getting to settle. It's hard. BUT, I also know that at least we're together! At least we have each other and we get to be husband and wife-even at a hospital.

Well, finally I knew I was either going to blow up at him (I realize this sounds horrible and you're wondering how could I think about doing that to poor Cale...but it's true.), or I needed to take a break. My break was eating dinner silently. I didn't talk with him and he knew I was upset, but so was he. After a few minutes, when my emotions had simmered, I looked at Cale and said, "I love you." When he lifted his head and looked back at me, my heart broke for him, yet again. I love him so much and I know that this has to be so incredibly hard for him. When he said I love you back, I then reminded him about what he always used to tell me. When he was deployed and we missed each other so much, he would tell me that he didn't care where we lived-a cardboard box would be fine, as long as we were together.

It was a really sweet and tender moment. It didn't make everything better, and he's still really mad, but at least we could come to a place of softness and understanding towards each other. I think a lot of times when our emotions get to flying, we forget about the heart of the person that we're having a problem with. I think that goes along with Jesus saying to love our enemies...they have hearts too!

4 comments:

  1. My Friend!! In the picture of you and Cale with Eric and Linn, Cale looks like a cowboy. His stance reminds me, a little, of John Wayne. :) Kathleen, it is OKAY to be angry (mad means crazy). That is one of the emotions we were created with. Jesus got angry...the tables in the temple...is a good example. Father just tells us not to sin with our anger. It doesn't sound like you sinned with your anger. I love you, Marion OH!! before I forget, you must wash your brown mug by hand. The dishwasher can mess up the writing. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ugghh!!! Sometimes the Lord uses others to teach us a lesson and tonight I got one from Adam and Amy's post, then another from you!!! Grace... patience... love... righteous anger... I don't know how the Lord does it -- convicts us of something we do wrong (sometimes through others), and then allows us to feel good again. It's that Grace thing! I'm so thankful that you, Cale, and I all have it. What a wonderful gift He has given us. Know that it's okay to feel all those feelings and frustrations, as long as we don't act ungodly with them. Allow God to heal us, and we don't need to be "wanting". God's timing is perfect, and you will be blessed beyond measure -- How much more will He give good gifts to those He loves! Bless you both, and prayers for good attitudes, less frustrations, and happiness starting tomorrow! Can't wait until you're back here closer and in the home the Lord will provide for you!

    Terri

    ReplyDelete
  3. Caleb's anger is just that ~ his. He is healing - the brain is a funny thing, I am just learning some of this as my cousin had an annurism and had some complication with her surgeries..... I see 2 great things here- You are not letting the sun go down on your reaction (frustration/anger) to his anger, and You trust in a bigger hand than your own.Kathleen you are human, but the Spirit of God is huge in you ! Anyone reading your blogs can see how frail life is and how BIG God is! You are strong in the Lord, and you have a number of people lifting your hands up !!!!! Your love for Caleb outshines all of it . Blessings to you as you continue on in your journey...... All things work together..... Love Ya Reenie ((())))

    ReplyDelete
  4. PS thank for posting your new address :) Reenie

    ReplyDelete

Please included at least your first name and know that we are reviewing each comment so it may take up to 12 hours to post. Thank you all for your constant encouragement and prayers.