Wednesday, May 18, 2011
I didn’t write about yesterday and that’s never good for me. The reason I write every day is because if I don’t, everything goes out of this brain of mine!
I’ll try my best…
Praise God!!!! I can’t say this enough through all of this muck and swamp we’ve traveled through. It’s so amazing that it hasn’t felt like it’s been muck and swamp the whole time, because of his abundant grace that He continually pours and dumps on us. I’ve read so many stories and been told so many times of wives that have chosen to leave their husbands when things changed in their marriage. I’m talking about the stories of the injured husband, but I’m pretty sure that statement can apply to the physically and mentally well husband also…
It breaks my heart like a china plate hitting the kitchen floor.
I’ve never owned any kind of china, I think it would be so special and unlike many women, I would actually use it, but as a young married couple…well, it doesn’t fit our pocket book! Even though I’ve never actually owned china, I can imagine it shatters pretty good.
Anyways, I read another story today about a young wife that had decided she just couldn’t do it. TBI had been too much for her to handle. Her husband was so different and the challenges she faced were way over her head. She sunk.
Not for one second…not even a split second has it ever crossed my mind to run from Cale and leave him behind. I couldn’t fathom the idea. Yes, he is very different. In fact, there is little peaks into who he was before, but a lot of the things he liked and didn’t like before have changed. His attitude and thought process has changed. Our memories are different and right now we share very little of us together. His temper has changed, his mood has changed, his speech has changed…a lot has changed, but while he’s been changing and being created as this new man, I have also been changing and becoming a new woman.
And my response is Praise God!
When I first typed that at the very beginning, I was going to go on a whole different reason for me praising God, but my fingers took over ;)
So…back to where I started, Praise God!!!! Thank you so much for praying! Yesterday was the first day since Cale had his feeding tube in that he didn’t fight me (not even once!) to take his meds all day!! It was so great and so needed! We had a sweet day together too! The hard days come, but he gives me so many sweet ones to make up for it!
There was something else I was going to share, but I don’t remember. Hmm…
Today was another great day too! Mark was over again and spent the afternoon with Cale while I got some errands done. The sun was out and it was beautiful, which always seems to make that kind of stuff more enjoyable.
I remember what I was going to share! So, I received the call from Seattle. Cale will be starting treatments on the 25th. I think there was a mix up, might have been me typing wrong, but I wanted to correct what’s being done. Cale had the surgery for his tumor (that was found in his nasopharynx and is not cancerous!) in January, but there was some leftover tissue that has already changed in size. Because of how aggressive it is and the damage that can be done (it’s near brain structures and the optical nerve), the next step is radiation. We’ll be heading to Seattle for 5 weeks for treatments that he’ll be getting M-F. We were going to be leaving Sunday after church, but thankfully, we’ll have a couple more days! Please be praying for this time…oooh boy!
We went to our churches Wednesday night meal, which Mama happens to be the cook for. The last time we tried, Cale was not a fan in the slightest because of all the noise and people. We ended up not making it through the meal. It’s been a few weeks, so I thought we’d be adventurous and try for round 2. I’m happy to report it was a success! It is so great for me just to be around people. Even though it’s not like I can leave Cale and go visit a whole bunch, the little bit of interaction I get is a blessing!
Confession: I watch American Idol. Mama got me hooked in 2009 while Cale was deployed and ever since then, I just can’t help myself. I didn’t get to watch it much last year and I missed a lot of the beginning of this year, but when I can watch it, I do!
Cale hates it.
He says it’s a stupid show so during that time, it’s interesting trying to watch it with a husband who really doesn’t want to. Tonight he just went in the room and made his way under the covers. On commercials I kept running in to talk with him and see how he was doing. One of the times I ran in, this is what I found…
Cale had made sock puppets. I’m not sure I really have words for this…he’s adorable. :)
I can’t help but point out his shoes and slippers on the bed. I don’t even want to know what germs are sleeping with us tonight…gross…!
In prayer it is better to have a heart without words than words without a heart. - JB
Posted by Kathleen at 10:53 PM