My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. - Psalm 73:26
We are miles away from the stage we were at in Cale’s recovery, I’d say even 6 months ago. So much has changed and is different. One thing that is constant is every day I love him more. How it happens? I have no idea. I’m able to look at him daily with new love, new devotion, and a new heart. The Lord is good, isn’t He?
I spent some time with a friend this afternoon that I haven’t seen in a couple years. She is a friend that I have always looked up to and respected. When I was younger, her and her two sisters were my role models; they were the vision of godly women and still are! I was able to sit and listen to her share about her and her fiancé’s story. Beautiful! I loved listening and soaking up every detail. Not too long into to her sharing, a familiar feeling tugged at the corners of my heart; an unwelcomed reminder that the sweet stuff she was sharing about her fiancé, I didn’t have anymore.
I know many of you reading know exactly what I’m describing. We as humans desire what we don’t have, or can’t have. A boyfriend, husband, baby, house, car, degree, money, and the list goes on.
While Cale was deployed, this same feeling would show itself every time I would see a couple holding hands and being sweet with each other-I missed Cale and wanted to be able to hold his hand. After the accident, I would experience it again-other patients were making progress and oh how I wanted it for Cale as well! Now of course like I’ve shared about my whole baby ordeal, yep, then too! While my friend shared today and told me about all the sweet little things about her adorable relationship, I was overjoyed for her and loved getting to hear it, but at the same time, I was reminded how Cale is unable to do sweet little things for me now.
He has always been really great at special surprises to make me smile. Once while we were dating he knew that red Skittles were my favorite, so out of a huge bag, he picked all the red ones out and gave me just them. One Valentine’s Day he searched and searched for a box of all dark chocolate. He would leave me notes, and sometimes just a smiley face; all of it was so perfect.
Well, anyways, I fully enjoyed my time and when I walked in the door at home, Mama quickly shouted at me to close my eyes. She had stayed with Cale while I went to coffee, so I was a little nervous of why I needed to close my eyes. Did something break? She grabbed my hand and led me to the dining room. I was then told to open my eyes. Standing there looking extremely handsome; Cale was holding flowers for me! Mama asked what he was going to tell me and the first thing he said was, “Happy Birthday!” Mama said, “No, not birthday. What were you going to tell her?” With some cueing he finally said, “Surprise! I love you!”
Ok, so, I wasn’t really sad and all bummed out after my visit. I actually really did have a great time and loved every minute! I did for a short time think about what I miss, and as always that can be hard, but those flowers…I needed them. The Lord knew. They were exactly what I needed. Mama said that they walked in the store and there were so many beautiful flowers. She asked Cale if he wanted to get me some and he of course said yes. She said he looked at all of them before choosing the ones he picked. :)
It was so sweet! I’m so blessed and so thankful for such a special gift.
My short story turned into a long one…sorry!
We’ve had a great day! Cale slept in so that gave me time to get some stuff done around the house. I’m sure I could have been more productive on the cleaning part, but I took the “less is more” seriously this morning. ;) Instead, I made some really super yummy homemade salsa! Mmm! A few more randoms, but I’d have to say the salsa that I made and was able to enjoy with lunch was the best part…other than when I walked in the room a little later and Cale was just waking up. I ended up climbing back in bed with him and cuddled for a bit. I love moments like that! We just smiled at each other and giggled at the blankets tickling our noses. Perfect.
Tonight was PT. Last night my manly husband did 25 minutes on the elliptical, which was a HUGE deal! He jumped (well carefully climbed!) back on tonight and did 30 minutes!!! He topped his best time just in one day! Oh yeah!
I’m lying here as I type feeling over the top blessed by my Savior and head over heels crazy in love with my Boy.
“The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” - Zephaniah 3:17