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Monday, August 8, 2011

We're fish!

Blogger hasn't been letting me post...Here's from Monday!

While we were lying in bed last night; lights turned out and everything around was still, the only noise to be heard was the hum of the fan, Cale says softly, “I want us to have a baby.”

Oh how I wish my answer wasn’t continually that we can’t right now. Cale’s reply is always the same. Always wondering why right now isn’t good.

I had gotten myself to a mental point that helped me understand that it will happen eventually and when it does it will be wonderful, but right now it just can’t.

Lately, lately that has seemed to have been swept away with the Tri-City wind storms and my heart has been longing in a deep desperate way to meet our baby…our one day baby. I’m sure many of you right now are reading this and can relate. That feeling of wanting to kiss their sweet baby faces, hold them, love them, pour as much love as God gives you into them.

I day dream about, little baby feet, stacks of diapers, tiny outfits, bath time, and sharing such a powerful wonderful new life with my husband…oh how I long for it.

I know that God hears every though that passes through my mind and every ache that my heart feels for this very thing.

I believe one day we’ll hold our sweet darling baby, until then, we’re praising Jesus for what we do have and really learning to enjoy this new us...this new life we have and all the adventures that comes with it!

I love that it’s on Cale’s mind and heart as well. He was thinking about it as he was falling asleep. I love that he is capable of having such thoughts and that the desire that was so strongly there before the accident is still there.

As for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more. –Psalm 71:14

Today we were fish! We started a low impact aquatic class this morning. For now I’m there to just help Cale, but I tried to do as much as I could so we were both getting exercise! There’s an Assisted Living Facility nearby that has an outdoor pool and offers these classes through the Parks and Rec here. I was very curious of how Cale was going to take it because well, it’s all older people. The whole session went surprisingly well! Anything that she would ask us to do that had multiple steps was lost on Cale, so we took it a lot slower, but the whole time he had a good attitude. It’s 3 times a week for the next month so we’ll see how it goes!

Shortly after he had therapy with the RS (rehab specialist) and started a project. I’ll share more about that later…It involved painting and Robin said he did a really good job on it!

He was able to rest for a bit this afternoon and then it was time for PT! We went to the pool again and worked some more. Cale had a lot harder time tonight. I don’t think it’s because he had swimming earlier either. What I noticed was that from the beginning, PT has come so easy for him and speech has consistently been a challenge. Now it seems that he’s making great progress in speech and doing really well with tolerating it, but PT has become the challenge. I brought it up to Carly his PT tonight and she explained that sometimes when an area of the brain is healing; all the energy will go to that. So, this of course gives me a smile because it’s MORE healing happening! He’s just starting to give more energy and focus to the cognitive side rather than the physical…I’m totally ok with that! It’s time to have some break through!

I’m praying for joy to fill and over flow in Cale. I’ve been thinking a lot lately and noticing that he just seems to have it buried under the weight of confusion and fatigue. I know that the joy that God gives is able to shine SO bright through it all!

A few stories to share…

Earlier Cale was playing solitaire on the ipad. He does well with it, but still needs help sometimes and without any help he ends up losing. He had cleared a card and the next card flipped was the same number and color. When he saw that he said, “Are you serious?” It was funny to me to see him react in this way. It’s just another one of those new things that I haven’t seen in a really long time! :)

When we had first arrived at his moms’ house for PT, I was searching my purse for my phone and a little dramatically I was mentioning that I didn’t have it with me. Well, very sarcastically Cale says, “Oh no. No phone!” Haha! He was teasing me!

In PT we were throwing the ball to each other and Carly was coming up with questions that we had to answer when we caught the ball. She asked, “If you could visit anywhere in the world, where would you go?” Cale said, “Heaven.”


  1. Cale's remark about the phone is hilarious. I am laughing right now as I'm writing this comment.

    On a more serious note, I can totally understand about the baby. As soon as I read this post I went to my room and interceded for you guys, for more healing for Cale and for peace for you as you wait for that time. I will keep lifting this up in prayer. God WILL keep you in perfect peace, and he knows the desires of our hearts.

    Love you girl.

  2. I said a prayer for you. I know how it feels waiting for that hole in your heart to be filled with a precious little one. You will know when you are ready. I don't think it has to do with timing. Its never the right time.... bills, careers, military deployments, education, and health. They all get in the way. Before you know it time is slipping away....

    When it happens that little miracle is going to change your life forever and it will be so worth it. You two are going to make wonderful parents. I can't wait to follow that journey with you!

  3. Thank you so much for the prayers Maegan and Stacy! You're both such sweet blessings!

  4. I am so with Cale on that last one. I, too want to go home. A thought about how to answer Cale when he says he wants a baby...tell him Father's time hasn't come yet. They are the same words, just said differently. I rejoice with you in how well Cale is doing. I love you, Marion


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