It’s been a tough day. Really tough. The second half of my dinner was eaten with tears streaming down my cheeks. Some days are just hard.
I often think of a video game that I had played with Cale a long time ago. I remember my life tank was always flashing red and almost empty. He would tell me to hide and let my life grow again…well, there’s nowhere to hide from life and brain injury, but every time I submerge myself in the Word and in the presence of Jesus, I feel my life tank refill. With Him, it will never go empty.
Cale had OT and time with his RS today. OT didn’t go so well…his therapies haven’t been going great again. It’s hard when I see him getting so frustrated and not wanting to do anything when I know he needs it.
He also had a vision appointment and that went about as good as OT went. You know those machine things that they put in front of you and look in your eye? Cale shoved one of them out of the way with no hesitation. He was done.
It’s been really hard the last 6 days with Cale in almost a constant bad mood. The smallest things are setting him off, for instance, I sneezed three times earlier and that made him mad.
I’m not saying this to speak against my husband or badly of him, but to let you see even a sliver into how our days have been going and where we’re at. The anger and frustration start to wear me down when it’s so constant, but that’s why me being in constant prayer is so vital! My heart hurts for him because he just isn’t able to process, filter, and work through all of his emotions. His eyes bothering him could be the simple thing that triggers his negative emotions. It could be more…we just don’t know and he doesn’t know how to tell us. He was asleep by 7:15 tonight, so him being tired may have been a big deal for today.
Speaking of him being tired, he hasn’t taken a nap during the day since we were in NY! He has laid down with me asking, but never falls asleep. This took a little of “time I need” away, but it’s great if he’s moved out of that.
Praying us through each minute…I know we’ll get through this. We have an appointment with his doctor next Monday to look at Meds and what changes have been made and maybe still need to be made. I’ve also talked with his therapist and we’re going to try praying before every therapy session and when he starts getting upset, having them pray with him. I’m not sure why I didn’t think of this before…!
My getaway today was making applesauce and then canning it while he was gone with the RS. My home smelled so good and I must say that my sauce turned out so tasty! I only had time to do 6 jars before needing to leave to his eye appointment, so I think there will be a little more tomorrow!
Cale said last night, "Eh, I think I should get money." I asked for what and he said, "for reading your texts to you. Can I?" I gave a funny look and started laughing and then he added, "kisses?" Haha!