This morning I woke up way too early for Sunday mornings and wasn’t able to go back to sleep. I tossed and turned for a while and when sleep wouldn’t come, I prayed and asked the Lord why he had me awake. Was there something he wanted to say to me? I decided to get up while the house was still quite and ended up joining our church in NY online. After the service was over, I still had plenty of time and took advantage of the quietness and dug into my Bible. I prayed specifically for a word for someone that would be encouraging, challenging, or even just a reminder. A lot of times my prayer times are very self-focused. With going through life with my husband having brain injury, I so quickly think about our needs and healing for him. Just within the last week or so, it’s been pointed out to me in different ways how selfish I am! Don’t worry, no one is coming to me telling me, but I can feel the tug of the Holy Spirit in a few different areas in my life.
So, I’m breaking free of it! As I studied my Bible and spent time in prayer, a name was put on my heart and I began to type an email to them. The thing was, it wasn’t fully in my head when I started praying, but trusting that the Lord was going to guide my fingers, I typed. I do pray that when I hit send it went to the person that needed it, but I also wanted to share it on here. I’m not sure what challenges in life your experiencing and walking through right now, but as I did this morning, I pray that these words would encourage, challenge, or just be a reminder for you…and if they’re not for you, then would you pray for someone that might read them on this little blog that does need them?
Your life has made a turn down a road that you weren't expecting, it has become a life that you wish that you could understand but no threads will allow it to happen, and instead they seem to be scattered all around you and moving constantly so that every time you try to pull everything together, it feels impossible. For you to be able to continue to wake up in the morning and put one foot in front of the other, your time with the Lord needs to be priority and is your only lifeline. So many other things will push and fight for your attention and distract you, but He is truly the ONLY life preserver. How to start and what to say, what to pray and how to pray all are reality in a mind where everything seems unreal and you feel disconnected from your own body, but with Christ it is possible to gain strength and peace. Call on Him continually. Short simple prayers that you continue to speak out will lift you and begin to carry you. He knows your needs. He knows your thoughts. He knows your pain. He knows your fears. He knows your dreams. He knows your heart-but He still wants to hear it. Start with just one day that you continually talk to Him, giving every thought to the Lord. Soon, it will become a conversation...and you will be brought to a place like you've never known or been able to imagine!
Pray continually. -1 Thessalonians 5:17
After a great time in the word, my prayer time continued as I woke Cale up to get ready for the day. This always has great potential to go badly. He didn’t want to wake up and along with that didn’t want to go to church. Part of what he was saying made me laugh because of the way he said it, but at the same time, it was so sad. I put my hand on his head and started praying. I prayed for joy and freedom from what the enemy wants to have control of. I demanded it back and prayed that Cale would be able to overflow with joy in Jesus name! Nothing happened huge in the moment, but I know my prayer didn’t just hang in the air void! Cale did finally get out of bed and went to church with a smile. :)
The first song we sang at church was, It Is Well with My Soul. Sonny our worship leader talked about how in the craziness of the world and all that is happening, we can still truly say that it is well with our souls! We know the outcome of all that is happening and we can rest in confidence and not worry our days away. I loved listening to Cale sing the words, beautiful. As I stood next to him singing, I thought about the words that were coming out of my own mouth. Is it really well with my soul that my husband has brain injury? Can you say it is well with your soul that you lost your job, have a terrible relationship with your spouse, or were just diagnosed with cancer? With Jesus…somehow the answer can be yes because we know that life is so much more!
Some funny moments from Cale today…
When he puts on his socks in the morning, they must be perfect. Some of his socks have lines or markings on them and if they’re crooked, he can’t move on until they’re straight! It cracks me up to watch him fuss with them! Anyone else like that?
He wanted to know why boxers are box-hers and not box-hims since they're underwear for guys.
Before it was time to leave for church we were playing Crazy 8’s. I lost three times in a row and after the third game, Cale said, “I’m a pro.” I said, “oh really” to which he quickly replied, “You’re a proloser! A good one!” When I responded to this he added, “You’re good at losing!” Hmm…haha!
In church while our Pastor was giving the sermon he plucked his nose hairs…a good way to pass the time? ;)
"I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you." - Elizabeth Barrett Browning
p.s. I just want to add that I didn’t mean to make my comment on my post a couple days ago about struggling and thinking people aren’t reading anymore a whiny poor me thing…or to even be the focus of the post. I know that you’re still reading. I honestly do but my mind is such an easy door for attack…sad, but true. Thank you for your sweet comments, emails, and messages letting me know you’re still there. They’ve been a blessing! Thank you for your continued prayers after all of this time!