Friday, February 10, 2012

Happy 2nd Alive Day Cale!

My heart is bursting at the seams. I’m speechless and to be able to tell you all about this week, I’m gonna need to use a lot of words. Where will they come from?

Two years ago today, my husband and I were in a car accident. He was fighting for his life. Our family was told to come as soon as possible to say their goodbyes if needed. My brother was told he may not even make it through surgery. Our lives changed. I want you to read those words with thought and the weight of what they really are. Car accident. I say this because my husband wasn’t being a daredevil, risky, or irresponsible. We were in the car holding hands and listening to music like many of you do every day. We were headed somewhere and never made it. Not because we decided to do anything crazy. Life is so fragile. I think daily we rush through each day and quickly tell someone in our life that we love them and forget that we never know what that day holds. We never know when lives will be changed forever.

Cale wasn’t taken to Heaven where he would be whole and dancing with Jesus. He’s here with me and lives with a severe traumatic brain injury that leaves him many days as if he were a little boy again. I’ve had many nights while trying to bring my racing mind to stillness when the thought of him here rather than in Heaven has left me feeling confused. I know that I’m so thankful he’s alive and with me. I know that every day I think about how blessed I am that I still have my husband with me to hold and love and grow old with, but at the same time I become overwhelmed with the thought of how much his life has changed and all that he has had to go through and still has to go through. I cringe at the thought of how he must feel if he ever comes to a place in his recovery where he fully realizes the change.

I would love to say that the last week has been an escape from all reality, a vacation from the life that we face at home every day, but honestly, it was more of a daily reminder. With saying that, I can also say that the blessing that our everyday lives have become has been like a flashing billboard as we went through each day. God is so good, isn’t He?!

It blows my mind to look at us today walking off a cruise ship after a week full of adventures and then to think of every step over the last 2 years.

Happy 2nd Alive Day Boy! I love you so much and I’m so proud of you and so thankful for your constant hard work. You never give up…

Looking back through the first year…



…and then the second. Praise the Lord!



Not to us, O LORD, not to us but to your name be the glory, because of your love and faithfulness. –Psalms 115:1

3 comments:

  1. My Sweet Friend, For some reason this blog has left me in tears. I am seeing Father's hand all over it, yet the tears are there. I think I would cringe at the thought of when Cale realizes just what is going on EXCEPT for the FACT that Father is already there and waiting. He has His hand on Cale in a special way and isn't about to let go at that point in time. Yet, He understands your feeling of "cringe" AND He's there for you TOO. I am so excited to read a bit of your trip. I can't begin to tell you what you mean to me....Father's gift FOR SURE!!!! Marion

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  2. Gosh, girl, you always give me the happy tears. Your faith is just beyond words.

    I'm so happy that I've been able to be a part of your journey through your blog.

    By the way, you've totally inspired me. Each anniversary of my injury, I've been extremely depressed. This year, I'm going to celebrate the fact that it wasn't any worse, and that I have progressed as far as I have.

    Thank you!

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  3. Wow, watching those videos brought me to tears also. His journey is incredible and it is amazing to see how much he has progressed and will continue to progress! I love that he has such a faithful (full of faith) partner to walk with him through his journey. You are an amazing influence on him and his recovery.

    It struck me that one of the things that must be difficult for you guys is that every day is filled with tons of extremes. Everything he does and every second he is alive is an extreme blessing and at the same time everything he does and every day that he is alive is a an extreme struggle in some ways. I wish for you both continued peace as you navigate the extremes. Christ is greater than words can encompass and He makes our heart whole.

    -- Ashton --

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