"Living life with a brain injury doesn't define us; it's just an added adventure as we walk towards Jesus." -kd
The other day I could feel my heart having a bit more trouble than usual. It was extra heavy and I was almost in tears for most of the morning. My desire for a baby was so intense and the hurt I felt over not having a baby was so thick. A couple times it felt like I needed to force myself to take a breath, like I had to help myself breathe by making the effort.
I know that God has His perfect timing. I know that He knows the desires of my heart. I know that what I think having a baby looks like for us may be something completely different in the plans that God has for us. Scripture was being spoken as well as prayers for peace...but this time was so unlike other moments I've had and the emotions I've experienced.
I felt overwhelmed as the minutes passed and my gut stayed twisted and my heart desperate. I didn't want to blab about it to anyone around me...and I didn't even plan to write about it here. My comfort came when I was able to send out texts to some of my prayer warriors and really know they were covering me in prayer.
I don't even have an amazing ending to the story...just that Sunday was a big struggle and I'm thankful for so many of you that continue to lift us up and encourage even after we've been on this journey for so long. Thank you.
Along with that, I find myself more often sitting and pondering how thankful I am. I'm thankful for how far Cale has come. I'm thankful we're blessed with a treatment center that is able to help with his anger. I'm thankful I have two arms and hands...that work. I'm thankful for the other patients that we're surrounded by right now and the ones we've met while here. I'm thankful for the awesome staff here. I'm thankful we have a beautiful home to return to. I'm thankful for the friends in my life that actually are friends. I'm thankful for the packages and sweet cards so many of you send. I'm thankful. I'm thankful. I'm thankful.
...and sometimes that's the only two words that form in my thoughts.