It's been another good day! Cale made lots more sound this morning in speech. Deirdre said this morning was more then she's ever heard. He's starting to use his tongue to help change the sound. Hopefully soon we'll have words!
They tried to get Cale to take more steps today, like Friday he's not wanting any weight on his left leg. They've started him on medication to try to help that out.
The last few months have been a struggle. It's been full of high points, like when Cale moved his thumb for the first time or when he took his first steps. Also, low points, like finding out Cale had pneumonia or hearing the bad news that it looks like he may stay this way forever. Everything has been posted on here, including everything I've been feeling, good or bad. Well, I wanted to share some lyrics to a song written by Ginny Owens. I had first seen her, I think at a Women of Faith conference? I'm not sure, but I remember hearing this song, and many times since I was younger I've come to God with these words, and now is another one of those times. I hope that it can help everyone to see where I'm at in all of this. :)
If You Want Me To
The pathway is broken
And The signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to
Chorus:
Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
so if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will walk through the fire
If You want me to
It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone
ya oh oh no
So When the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley If You want me to
-Ginny Owens
This isn't what I would have chosen for our new life together. It's not fun, but if it brings me closer to God, if it brings everyone around me, watching this and going through this with us, closer to Him, I'll do it. Years ago, I surrendered my life to Christ and that was every part of my life. Honestly, it doesn't always feel like He hears my cries, it doesn't because I don't see the answers I want, but God is so much more then "running on my time"! If He's asking me to go through this, with life like this, I'll do it. I'm going to be clinging the whole way through to His promises that God's not done with me and that He's got Cale in His victorious right hand. I don't know why this happened. I don't understand, but I do know that God loves me, and He loves Cale, even more then I love Cale. I'm trusting Him.